Dorkpool: You know what we haven’t bitched about for a while?
Mirror: Donald Trump’s hair?
Dorkpool: Well, in all defense, Donald Trump himself is going to be miserable when he loses the election. We’ll make fun of him then, just to rub salt in the wound.
Mirror: You really don’t like him, do you?
Dorkpool: Not in the least.
Mirror: Anyway, what were you going to say?
Dorkpool: Hmm…give me a second…oh, right! We haven’t bitched about the Creepypasta Land Wiki for a while.
Mirror: And we have a story from there now, don’t we?
Dorkpool: Yep, it’s called “The Girl In The Woods.” So, let’s leave our windows open and Riff this bitch!
START RIFF
Have you ever sometimes hear someone sing when your alone in the woods?
Dorkpool: No, but I have wished that the first sentence of a story I read is grammatically correct.
I mean a Human Voice not a Bird or any kind of Animal.
This voice it haunts me its everywhere i go ...since i left these damn woods.
Mirror: (Narrator): Which would be fine, except it’s Fran Drescher’s voice.
I was walking in these woods to get a little bit of fresh air.Afterall it was a nice sunny day.When suddenly i hear someone singing it was an odd voice a bit roughter deep female voice.I looked around to find the source of the singing and i found a single piece of paper hanging on a tree.A Notesheet? whats that doing here?
Dorkpool: (Narrator): And why does it have a picture of dickbutt on it?
I noticed there was a lot more on the other Trees.
I followed the path of notepapers until ....i found something terrifing on the ground ,right there lay a woman maybe in her twenties.
Mirror: Oh my God, a woman in her twenties! Oh the horror!
She didnt move one single bit.Her eyes where scratched out ,someone carved her a smile and she had a hole where her heart should have been next to the Corpse was a little girl .
She seemed to be Crying i try to get closer to her to see she was actually laughing?
Dorkpool: I guess she reads the Riffs.
She Looked at me with Heterochromic eyes
Both: What in the seven hells is a heterochromic eye?
one was a pure blue normal eye ...um...the other was a catlike red eye that filled the whole space of the eye.She has then began singing in the same deep voice.
I tryed to run as fast as i could after she got up and started chasing me.I managed to escape but i looked back it was the singe red glowing eye of that girl.
Mirror: (Narrator): The cat in me wanted to chase it.
i hope to warn you never look for the voices in the Woods she will find you .My Window is open im pretty sure it was closed a minute ago....
Dorkpool: DUN DUN DUNNN!
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story isn’t very good.
Mirror: The spelling and grammar isn’t very good, which kind of gets in the way of understanding this story. There’s no characterization at all; we don’t know the names of any characters in this story. And the ending, while trying to be scary, isn’t. It would’ve worked better if the story started with the main character saying that he/she closed his/her window, gone into this long ramble about this being, then ended with, “I’m scared now. My window is open” or something like that.
Dorkpool: There are good things. The story is short, which is nice. The story itself has a decent idea, and, with some reworking, could be good. As is, it’s not very good. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish someone would open our window (even though we don’t have any since we’re on a spaceship)? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Mirror: Donald Trump’s hair?
Dorkpool: Well, in all defense, Donald Trump himself is going to be miserable when he loses the election. We’ll make fun of him then, just to rub salt in the wound.
Mirror: You really don’t like him, do you?
Dorkpool: Not in the least.
Mirror: Anyway, what were you going to say?
Dorkpool: Hmm…give me a second…oh, right! We haven’t bitched about the Creepypasta Land Wiki for a while.
Mirror: And we have a story from there now, don’t we?
Dorkpool: Yep, it’s called “The Girl In The Woods.” So, let’s leave our windows open and Riff this bitch!
START RIFF
Have you ever sometimes hear someone sing when your alone in the woods?
Dorkpool: No, but I have wished that the first sentence of a story I read is grammatically correct.
I mean a Human Voice not a Bird or any kind of Animal.
This voice it haunts me its everywhere i go ...since i left these damn woods.
Mirror: (Narrator): Which would be fine, except it’s Fran Drescher’s voice.
I was walking in these woods to get a little bit of fresh air.Afterall it was a nice sunny day.When suddenly i hear someone singing it was an odd voice a bit roughter deep female voice.I looked around to find the source of the singing and i found a single piece of paper hanging on a tree.A Notesheet? whats that doing here?
Dorkpool: (Narrator): And why does it have a picture of dickbutt on it?
I noticed there was a lot more on the other Trees.
I followed the path of notepapers until ....i found something terrifing on the ground ,right there lay a woman maybe in her twenties.
Mirror: Oh my God, a woman in her twenties! Oh the horror!
She didnt move one single bit.Her eyes where scratched out ,someone carved her a smile and she had a hole where her heart should have been next to the Corpse was a little girl .
She seemed to be Crying i try to get closer to her to see she was actually laughing?
Dorkpool: I guess she reads the Riffs.
She Looked at me with Heterochromic eyes
Both: What in the seven hells is a heterochromic eye?
one was a pure blue normal eye ...um...the other was a catlike red eye that filled the whole space of the eye.She has then began singing in the same deep voice.
I tryed to run as fast as i could after she got up and started chasing me.I managed to escape but i looked back it was the singe red glowing eye of that girl.
Mirror: (Narrator): The cat in me wanted to chase it.
i hope to warn you never look for the voices in the Woods she will find you .My Window is open im pretty sure it was closed a minute ago....
Dorkpool: DUN DUN DUNNN!
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story isn’t very good.
Mirror: The spelling and grammar isn’t very good, which kind of gets in the way of understanding this story. There’s no characterization at all; we don’t know the names of any characters in this story. And the ending, while trying to be scary, isn’t. It would’ve worked better if the story started with the main character saying that he/she closed his/her window, gone into this long ramble about this being, then ended with, “I’m scared now. My window is open” or something like that.
Dorkpool: There are good things. The story is short, which is nice. The story itself has a decent idea, and, with some reworking, could be good. As is, it’s not very good. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish someone would open our window (even though we don’t have any since we’re on a spaceship)? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
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