Mirror: Oh, please, that’s not why.
Dorkpool: You didn’t watch the dub?
Mirror: No, of course I did. But even then, that would take, at most, a few hours. No, the real reason we were on hiatus was because Dorkpool decided to go to the D23 expo, and hope that there was a reveal of the new Spider-Man costume.
Dorkpool: Don’t deny your addiction. It’s getting out of hand, and you know it.
Mirror: Yeah, but that’s not why we had a hiatus. It was your fault.
Dorkpool: You sit on a throne of lies.
Mirror: You sit on an ottoman of denial.
Dorkpool: Why I –
Indo: (from outside): YOU WERE BOTH BEING NERDS, AND THAT’S WHY YOU COULDN’T RIFF.
Mirror: That’s as good a reason as any.
Dorkpool: Yeah. Anyway, let’s play with out Weenie and Riff this bitch!
You know, I always liked Oswald when I was little, it is a show about an octopus with his pet hot dog.
Dorkpool: That is probably one of the strangest descriptions of a show I have ever heard.
I'm going to tell you all about what had happened.
Moments ago, I was searching up an Oswald Episode, and at the bottom of the 10th page, there was a link named "Oswald666.zip" I downloaded the video and it lasted the short amount of time.
Mirror: Wait, a person didn’t stop searching after the first page of search results? Goodbye, suspension of disbelief.
There was a txt file named "readme.txt". I clicked on the txt file and it read: "Warning, the following video you're about to see is really creepy. Do not watch if you're easily scared."
Dorkpool: (Txt file): Small children and pregnant mothers might want to leave the premises. Viewer discretion is advised.
I thought it was more of a joke, but I was still curious. I closed the txt file and there was already a movie file called "Oswald666.avi".
Mirror: There already was a file? So, what, is the new one a reboot?
Dorkpool: Well, yeah. Oswald snaps someone’s neck in it.
I clicked on the video file and it played, it started off with the normal intro, but something wasn't right, I could vaguely hear static during the intro.
Dorkpool: Slender Man, stop trolling people who like Oswald.
Anyways, the episode started off with Oswald playing the piano and Weenie was barking along as he played the piano. Oswald went to get some Ice Cream, he sang his usual Ice Cream song but instead of lyrics, it was just the word "Ice Cream" over and over.
"Ice Cream! Ice Cream! Ice Cream! Ice Cream! Ice Cream Ice Cream!"
Mirror: The sad part is that this song went #1 on Billboard.
After that, Oswald went back home. Weenie was seen in the corner, he was pulling a chair slowly revealing a trapdoor.
Oswald then looked at the screen with a big smile for 20 seconds, then he went to the kitchen for some lunch. Weenie winked at the camera and walked into the kitchen. Oswald said "I wonder what we should do?" He goes into his bathroom and begins to take a bath.
Dorkpool: You know, if his bizarrely sentient hot dog pet went with him, I guess you could say he would be…
Mirror: Don’t say it.
Dorkpool: … playing with his Weenie.
Mirror: What the hell?
Dorkpool: Just go with it.
He scrubs his body, and his arms which are his tentacles. After that, he went back to his living room, he played the piano again, but he tries to find a song to play, but he couldn't. Weenie slightly had a sinister look, and he suddenly began to talk in what seemed like a angrier man's voice!
"I MUST GET YOU TO PLAY A BRUTAL SONG!"
Mirror: (Weenie): PLAY SOME METAL, ASSHOLE!
Oswald began to scream as Weenie jumped forward! The teeth began to rotate in a machine like fashion, Oswald went into the other room! The door was gone, he tried desperately to build a new door out of metal, but the metal started to rust!
Dorkpool: (Narrator): It was around here that I started to wonder just how high I was.
Oswald's last hope was a trapdoor from earlier. He ran over to it and he pulled it open, diving into it! Weenie's monstrous teeth chittered as it began sprout boney wings and blood began to pool from beneath his feet!
Mirror: I guess it’s that time of the month.
His stomach opens up and highly realistic gore began to spew mammoth chunks from everywhere! A strange hollow was heard in the corner and it was Weenie and he said in a scary voice, "I'M NOT WEENIE, I'M MEANIE!"
Dorkpool: (Meanie): JUST SO YOU KNOW. WE’RE PRETTY EASY TO GET MIXED UP, AND I JUST WANTED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THAT. THANKS.
Oswald stumbled over them, and goes right through the trapdoor!
The blood red dog like demon bit into Oswald's tentacle!
Mirror: That is probably one of the craziest sentences I’ve ever read. I want it on a shirt.
Oswald reached across the floor and picked up a crowbar, and lifted it high slamming it brutally into Weenie's skull! I wanted to close the video, but I couldn't. The video kept going. Oswald went out of the trapdoor, and back into the house. After watching it, I turned off my computer, and walked into the bedroom.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): I reflected upon my wasted life.
At this point, I was already scared when I watched that video! I was back on the computer and I noticed the video file was gone, hoping it was deleted. I couldn't go to sleep for days! There was no reaction to my computer this time.
Mirror: (Narrator): Just you wait! A reaction’s coming soon.
Dorkpool: This story sucks, but it’s bizarrely enjoyable.
Mirror: The story has most of your standard lost episode clichés: self-deleting video, ultra-violence, you know the drill. It also adds a 666 for good measure, even thought the story has nothing to do with Satan or things related to 666. Maybe it’s to make the story scarier? Well, if that’s the case, it failed, since the story isn’t scary. It’s mostly because of the clichés, and the fact that it’s so bizarre that you’re not sure whether to be scared or amused. Personally, I went with amused. This story is amusing, from its weirdness to awkward phrasing (yeah, the grammar is awkward and the spelling has occasional errors) to its clichés.
Dorkpool: Mirror basically summed up the pros: despite it being bad, it’s enjoyable to read, mostly because you’re wondering, “What the fuck?” and then laughing. Also, for the most part, the spelling is decent, and it doesn’t use a lot of clichés. Well, compared to other stories, that is. Technically, this is a bad story, but it is enjoyable. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d kill our hot dog? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.