Now, onto the regularly scheduled program.]
On board the Katar, Fleet Commander Skrein watched video of a concert. Or rather, what started as a concert and what rapidly degenerated into chaos. In the middle of it, he saw a monochromatic clown and some half-dead looking woman murdering the concert attendees. The woman wasn’t familiar, but the clown was.
Kren was behind this, and Skrein was going to have to deal with him. He needed to prepare.
Soon, he and a security detail went to Kren’s quarters. They walked in, and found Kren sitting, reading a book.
“Yes?” he asked.
“It’s over, Kren,” Skrein said. “Your ‘Creepypasta’ plan has led to the deaths of innocent people. I want you to call it off, or I’m throwing you in the brig.”
Kren laughed. “You think this world, or the people on this world, matter? They don’t, not to me, and not to the Sovereign. And the Sovereign is fine with that plan.” Kren directed his attention towards the security detail. “Tell me, are you loyal to Skrein, or are you loyal to the Sovereign, to his goal? Do you care more about this planet and universe, or our universe, the real universe?”
The members of the detail started to look uncertain. Kren got off the bed, and pointed at Skrein.
“He is the real traitor here! He doesn’t care for our home! He cares only for these…these pale reflections in this universe!”
“You know that’s a lie.” Skrein said.
“Do I? You seem to care more about not killing people in this universe than killing the man we want to kill from our universe! Men, arrest Skrein, the true traitor here!”
The detail seemed divided, unsure about who was right.
“I care about our universe. I also care about this one. I believe we’re on the right side, the just side, and that hurting the people of this universe doesn’t fit into that.” Skrein said.
“Please. You’re just weak. You don’t understand the sacrifices that need to be made for our universe, Skrein. You don’t deserve to be in charge.”
The detail started walking towards Kren, and facing Skrein.
Skrein worried this might happen. A lot of the crew was a bit antsy, and just wanted Dorkpool dead, no matter the cost. They didn’t care about this world either.
Skrein, however, prepared for this.
“Computer, execute Skrein Alpha 1-5A3.” He said.
The ship shook, and alert klaxons started going off. In the chaos, Skrein ran.
“After him!” Kren bellowed, and the security detail ran after him.
Skrein ran to the shuttlebay, and got into a shuttlecraft, guards on his tail. He started it up, and got it flying. Suddenly, his ship was rocked by weapon fire. The guards had started shooting the craft. It was still able to fly, so Skrein shot through the shuttlebay doors, and flew out.
On board the bridge of the Katar, Kren ran in.
“Target an escaping shuttlecraft, and fire!” he yelled.
The weapons officer pressed buttons on his panel, but nothing happened. “Weapons are offline!” he said, shocked.
“Get it with a tractor beam!”
“Tractor beam’s offline too!”
“Tell the other ships to shoot him down!”
“Communications are offline too!”
“Go after him!”
Kren saw the officer starting to speak, and said, “Wait, let me guess: engines are offline too.”
The officer nodded.
Kren sighed. “How long will it take to get them back online?”
“Not sure. A few hours, maybe a day.” The engineering officer responded.
“Can we at least track him?”
“Yes, sir. He’s crashing near a boat. The boat our former emperor is on.”
Kren thought about this turn of events, a plan taking form in his head.
Mirror: So. Sonic.
Sylvia: The guy we helped Dorkpool beat the living shit out of earlier?
Mirror: No, that’s Sonic.exe, a different and stupider being than Sonic.
Sylvia. Oh. So why did you bring up Sonic?
Mirror: The story we’re Riffing today, “Sonic X Episode 80: Revenge of the Jungle Trap” has to do with him.
Sylvia: Oh, boy.
Mirror: I feel the same. Anyway, let’s watch some animangos and Riff this bitch.
As you may know, the one and only sonic anime, "Sonic x" was my third favorite show(first being Spongebob, second being The amazing world of gumball, and fourth being Adventure time).
Mirror: I didn’t know that, actually, but now that I do know I don’t care.
but now these days, 4kids barley announces new episodes of the show. Just some You-gi-oh episodes, Tokyo mew mew/mew mew power episodes, and other crap i can think of.
Sylvia: Thanks for not thinking of it. This story already has enough padding.
BUT! There was an episode of Sonic x that I hated named "Girls jungle trap", which was episode 58. I hated that episode ALOT, because Amy, Cream, and Cosmo are kidnapped in a fucking jungle, and Sonic, Tails, Chris and other boy characters I can think of are supposed to save them. And that was obviously, one of the Worst ideas 4kids ever came up with.
Mirror: Based on what I know from Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged, I have to disagree.
It ruined sonamy too. Episodes 52 and 65 (IN MY OPINION) were SO much better.
Sylvia: Yeah, well, nobody asked you.
At school, one of my friends were talking about the future of Sonic x, and i didn't really bother joining that chat. Because they were just spamming about a sequel to girl's jungle trap. I just watched them talk about that shit, until I heard the word, "EPISODE 80" come up to my head. So I joined that chat even though I didn't bother to.
I asked them about episode 80, but my Girlfriend
Sylvia: And there went any believability this story had.
said that 4kids has not even reached that episode yet, because they didn't do episode 79 yet. At 3:00 pm I was finally able to go home. But during when I walked home from school, i found an abandoned tape. And the tape said SONIC X 80 on it. Bingo! I have found a lost episode!
Mirror: Are you gonna put your lost episode in your inventory?
Pretty much I haven't found any lost tapes in my life, so this was a really big find. When i went home, I realized that Mom and Dad hate having unknown tapes
Sylvia: AKA porn.
in the house, so i hidden it behind my books in a bookshelf. On a friday night, Mom and Dad were out to a meeting, and i had to look after my brother Anthony. At 1:00 am, I started thinking about the tape.
Mirror: (Narrator): How can I play this since literally nobody owns a VCR anymore?
So I got the tape, and played it on my TV. I was hoping it would absolutley NOT be any Girls jungle trap shit ruining my TV screen. "I wonder what will come up."
Sylvia: Again, porn.
I thought to myself. I was hoping the volume to be low, because I didn't wanna wake up my brother Anthony. Anyways, when I played the tape, it showed a countdown and then the episode started. Instead of showing The stuff that happens before the intro, it skipped all the way to the intro. I hummed along to the song. nothing odd, until i saw that chris was missing. I think it's because of the fact that he left to his home back in episode 78. I continued anyway. The title of the episode was "Revenge of the jungle trap". When I saw the title, I was alarmed because the sentence "Jungle trap"
Mirror: That’s not a sentence. That’s a noun. Two, technically.
ment that its most likely gonna be the same shit that happened in Girls jungle trap. And not to mention that it also said "a special sonamy episode" on the top, and "from the writer of girl's jugle trap" on the bottom. I was starting to think "Was this episode ment to be released for all of the sonamy fans? including me?".
Sylvia: (Narrator): Do the writers care that much about my stupid and weird ship?
The episode began with Sonic and Amy at a fancy restraunt. The name of that restraunt was "Le cafe miro 81". pretty much that was odd, seeing as that was the name of a restraunt in the 2000 horror film "Final destination".
Mirror: So, are you getting paid for that name drop, or…?
Amy was wearing her dress that was seen in episode 65 of Sonic x. Sonic was wearing a fancy tuxedo. Amy and Sonic were about to kiss. I thought to myself "Yay!".
Sylvia: (Narrator): Then I thought to myself, “God, I’m sad.”
Except there was something strange and wrong. The music was playing in reverse, and the animation was in a grayscale.
Mirror: Haven’t we read this somewhere?
Sylvia: Yeah. In pretty much every other story we’ve Riffed.
Strange, I know. Just when amy was about to kiss sonic, an asshole kidnapped amy and then I said VERY loudly, "WHAT THE FUCK!? NO!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!"
Sylvia: (Narrator): And then my baby brother woke up because I’m a moron.
Then sonic was sent into action. But then the screen cut to black. I was like "Huh?". The screen then snapped back with Tails, bending down to Cosmo's grave and saying "I miss you, Cosmo". In a sad, loving tone. Then he was interuppted by Amy's yell for help. Sonic said "Don't worry! I'm coming for you!", but the animation was blurry this time, and all I saw was a blue blob jumping over a yellow one and was headed towards the pink one.
Mirror: The writer of that Ed, Edd, and Eddy lost episode should sue.
I pretty much wanted to turn off the TV, but I didn't really want to. I wanted to see the rest of the episode. 2 minutes later, There was a scene of cream all alone in a subway. When she boarded a train, the train announcer said "Next stop: Greiving park". For some reason, "Greiving park" happens to be a sad park.
Sylvia: Golly gee, I wonder why.
Was cream upset over something? I was hoping she wouldn't cry, but she did.
Her crying was really annoying as my brother's crying. Both are WAY too loud, but cream's was LOUDER as hell. My ears were bleeding unconstantly.
Mirror: “Unconstantly?” What the fuck does that even mean?
Luckly my brother did not wake up. The scene of her sadness ended(Thank God).
The scene then showed Shadow with Rouge. Rouge was being a bitch in front of Shadow.
Sylvia: (Narrator): Shadow was being dark and edgy. Like I am. See how edgy I am? I say, “fuck.” WON’T SOMEBODY LOVE ME?
Shadow said "ugh, why is she so agressive!?" Then the scene showed Amy in the prison. The prison she was in had blood all over the walls and the floor. I was like "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"
Mirror: What an unsanitary prison.
Then a black screen came up again. I was like "shit". Then a girl scream came out of the loud speakers! I jumped with fear. That moment almost gave me a heart-attack.
Sylvia: Oh, if we were only so lucky.
The screen snapped back again. Cream was then wearing a black dress. I freaked out saying "What the?! is her mother Vanilla dead!?"
Mirror: Is her father Vanilla Ice?
I was scared shitless, but the worst came. Cream hanged herself with a noose around her neck, and hands tied behind her back. So her mother Vanilla DID die!
I was then yelling. Then the screen went to black yet again. I said to myself "Please no scream, PLEASE!" Then the screen snapped back. Sonic was then kidnapped too. Then I said "Oh shit!"
Sylvia: You seem like a very annoying person to watch TV with.
Then he was thrown into the exact same cell Amy was in. I was then worrying. Then 4 minutes later, it was even worse than before.
Mirror: I don’t think this story can get any worse.
The prison guards then turned Amy into a vampire.
Mirror: Well, I was wrong.
She had evil red eyes, and she had a snake-like tongue. She bit Sonic's neck and started sucking his blood and then he turned into a vampire too. I then started to get scared even more.
Sylvia: You’re scared of vampires? Even after Twilight?
I screamed and then started to cry with pain! I said "NOOOOO! Please! Don't! stop stop stop! Please!" It was starting to get worse.
Mirror: What do you mean by “starting”?
What was weird is, is that every Sonic x episode was always about 20 minutes("beating eggman" being 40 min.), But however, this one, was about an hour and 40 minutes due to the long-ass black screens.
Sylvia: Wow, both this story and the episode are padded.
I was continuing to sob, yet wanting to Vomit my guts out. I was sobbing even more. Then it was far off worse then what happened. There was wedding music, but it was played in a high, scary pitch. And there was also a creepy siren noise. That noise was simular to the siren noise you hear in Silent hill or something.
Mirror: Is this the Sonic/Pyramid Head crossover no one asked for?
The scene was then showing Sonic and Amy making tails bleed to death unconstantly. Tails was screaming for help. I was unconstantly crying and yelling.
Sylvia: (Narrator): My brother was still somehow able to sleep.
Then the same exact same thing that happened to Tails also happened to Rouge, Knuckles, Espio, Charmy, Shadow and Vector. I was freaking out so loud. Then Amy and Sonic were laughing evily. I was screaming and crying and saying "AMY! SONIC! NOOOOO!"
Mirror: You know, Dorkpool yells, “SONIC! NOOOOO!” a lot, but most likely for different reasons.
Then end credits came, with the scary wedding music still playing. The credits even had the names of people I don't even know. The copyright notice at the end said "Copyright 4kids 2002".
It was pretty odd, seeing as Sonic x was created in 2003.
Sylvia: Yes, that’s the odd part of all of this.
After the episode was over, scary wedding music was still playing, and then it showed the writer of Girl's jungle trap on the subway tracks. She was sobbing uncontrollably as I was, but then an on-speeding train was heading towards her, and that was it, She was hit by the train. She was dead.
Then the scary wedding music ended, but then there was a russian text. I was afraid of russian text, because it reminds me of the sounds of hell.
Mirror: Weird. It reminds me of the sound of Donald Trump.
Then there was a scary voice reading the text. Then I got scared even more. I called the cops. They arrived just in time to see what was happening.
As soon as they arrived, it then showed a kid in a school hallway drinking from a water fountain, then the tape ended arruptly, and when I was about to take the tape out of the VCR, it fell on the floor, with the picture tapes scrambled in it. I explained The cops EVERYTHING about the tape. My brother Anthony woke up. He wanted to know what the hell was happening. The cops told him what happened.
Sylvia: (Narrator): He said that was the stupidest thing he’s ever heard.
Then the cops took me and Anthony to an open-late cafe. One of the cops told me that I may have had a bad dream. I told him it wasn't. I then opened the tape and showed him what was on the picture tapes. He was then shocked at what I showed him and then he tried smashing the tape into little pieces, but the tape was indestructable.
Mirror: What a smart cop you are, trying to destroy evidence.
The next day, Saturday, I found a random sticky note on the tape. It said "Girl's jungle trap was not supposed to exist, it was created to replace 2@12V.TAG". I was finally able to translate what the person and the text said. I translated it to english and it happened to be saying: "Abandon hope and thy god, in 10 years, Sonic and Amy will get you."
Sylvia: In other words, this twit’s got about a decade to try getting laid.
I was scared and doomed. I tried doing a little research on the episode on IMDb, but nothing came up. I already know that 4kids has their own youtube channel, so I emailed them about the episode and got a reply saying:
"Thank you for contacting us about the episode. One thing, how on earth did you find out about that!? We never, EVER, thought we would go through this again. Baisicly, the person who came up with the idea of Girls jungle trap actually DID die. We fired her for having this as a sequel to the episode you hated. We are sorry Vincent(yeah that is my name),
Mirror: This might’ve been interesting to know about, say, a story ago.
that you were SERIOUSLY upset about the episode. Apology to burst your bubble about the copyright notice saying year 2002, but Sonic x goes WAAAAY back as the world would know it.
Sylvia: I don’t think the 90s is that far back, unless you’re trying to imply that Sonic is some ancient character, passed down from generation to generation. If you are saying that, then hi, JC the Hyena. I hope someone pours Tabasco sauce into your anus.
And we never did put in any vampire stuff or the evil wedding music or the creepy sirens or any scary stuff like that, niether did we put that russian text in. We're not that sick.
Mirror: (4kids Youtube Channel): We’re fine with people making Sonic porn, but we the draw the line and blood and gore.
Now this is our theory, the writer just actually edited it and put in all that stuff in. Then she hidden it at the dumpster you found it in right in ***************(i censored the name of my hometown, i know.) When you were walking home from school.
Sylvia: Why though?
Oh, and about that footage of her subway death and the kid in the hallway, WE DO NOT KNOW. WE DID NOT. Sorry Vincent from the bottom of our hearts for your concern. We didn't even know why those last 2 clips were in. -4kids AKA the company involved with 'Revenge of the jungle trap'.".
There is NO origin of the episode, clearly. it is to be known the first person to watch this Commited Suicide.
Mirror: I’m not even surprised anymore.
He said "Death and suffering should not be known of this". 13 times before taking out a revolver and shooting himself. What else? Well, apparently, if you find the exact same tape as I did, I want you to stay the fuck away from it. If you have seen any abandoned tapes too, contact 4kids by Youtube only. Because when a Sonic x viewer death is compared to this, it has to be something terrifying.
Sylvia: I’d make a joke about the last sentence, but it makes no sense at all, so I have no idea what to say.
Mirror: This story sucks.
Sylvia: The spelling and grammar are atrocious, making it hard to understand what’s going on at times. Plus, it seems like at times the author makes up words. The main character is irritating, and has no mercy on those who have little to no familiarity with the series. If you don’t know the series, it makes it hard to understand what’s going on. Considering we know almost nothing about the series, it’s a bit of an issue. Additionally, the narrator is extremely irritating, as he has what can be called the “Easily Spooped Syndrome.” Basically, it’s when the main character/narrator of a story gets incredibly scared over things that aren’t really all that scary. Outside of ESS, the main character also feels the need to unnecessarily curse. Cursing is fine in moderation or when needed; here it comes off as the writer trying to seem more “mature” and “edgy” but failing miserably. This story also has certain clichés, like reversed music and over the top blood and gore.
Mirror: There are some good things about the story. It isn’t exactly long, and…ummm…someone wrote it. It’s a story with a beginning, middle and end. And, yeah, that’s about it. The story sucks. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish Sonic and Amy would get us in a decade? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
There was a giant splash next to the JeffxOC. Mirror, Sylvia, Jeff, and various Jeff knockoffs went to see what had happened.
A small ship of sorts had landed in the water, bobbing up and down on the sea. The door to vehicle was facing up, above the water, and it opened. A man climbed out. A man familiar to Mirror and Sylvia.
“Skrein,” Mirror said, spitting out the name like a curse.
“You know him?” Jeff asked.
“Yeah. He shot the Cheese Doodle out of the sky.”
“Alright, do you want to actively kill him or just let him drown?”
“Bring him up. He didn’t try shooting us from his ship, and just crashed down here. There’s got to be a reason.”
“So no killing?”
“Only if he’s useless or annoying.”
“Works for me,” Jeff said, taking and throwing a life preserver out to Skrein. Skrein grabbed hold of it, and was soon pulled back onto the ship.
“Thank you,” Skrein said.
“Don’t thank us just yet,” Mirror said. “You blew up my friend’s ship and my home, nearly killed me and my friends, and got all of us stuck on this boat for quite a bit.” Mirror looked back at Jeff. “No offense.”
“So you better have a damn good reason for coming down here, or else I will personally tie cinderblocks around your legs and throw your ass off this ship.”
“I understand why you hate me, and I personally don’t think much of you either,” Skrein said. “But this isn’t about killing you. There is a madman in control of my ship and a fleet which could easily annihilate this planet. I’ve crippled the ship and prevented him from talking to the fleet, but it won’t last long. You hate me? Fine. But I think you’d want to save this world.”
Mirror thought for a second. “Fine. Talk.”
TO BE CONTINUED IN MEANWHILE, OFF THE CHEESE DOODLE #10