Mirror: So what are we going to do?
Dorkpool: Simple. First, I’m going to say that this story, “The Dirt Road”, is from that Wiki. And second, I’m going to say, “Let’s walk around looking for work, and Riff this bitch.”
~~~~The Dirt Road~~~~
Dorkpool: Are they ever going to make a highway there?
Back a while ago in a much simpler time their lived a couple of fellows that loved to travel. Named George and Harland Almost all they did was walk looking for work.
Mirror: (Narrator): They never found work, since they only experience they had was walking.
Money was hard to find in these days and they had to keep their eyes open for whatever would come their ways. Back then they were called migrants
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Now they’re called unemployed.
trying to scrounge up anything they can get to live on so despite all these odds these best friends stuck through all it till the end.
Mirror: (Narrator): The end came quicker than expected when they stepped on a mine.
but the end was too soon to come...Harland and George always liked story's as well they would join the other migrants at campfires and listen to the tales they had to tell
Dorkpool: So that’s what happened to the Midnight Society.
on this night they were particularly interested in a story they had heard from a native of Missouri he talked of a road that no one ever ventured to this intrigued them so much that they thought they would take a look at this place.
Mirror: I’m calling it, they’re going to die.
on Monday they set off it was a peaceful quiet night on they way there they shared a beer and talked about good times.
Dorkpool: (George): Hey, remember when we walked around, looking for work?
Mirror: (Harland): Yeah, good times, but not as good as when we were walking around and trying to get a job.
only a couple miles away from there destination they spotted something a dark figure standing still in a wheat field with its back to them.
Dorkpool: Slender Man, stop trolling people.
They could only watch dumbstruck that someone would be all the way out here this late same as them.
Mirror: Only they could be walking around late at night.
They stood their looking at the man as he turned around with dark slime hanging from his face he moved toward them slowly He said A deathly omen is upon you.
Dorkpool: And not even with a “How do you do?” Talk about rude.
Like a flash he was on the other end of the field as he kept disappearing and reappearing like a blur he was from one place to the other. When he finally Stopped crows started circling him overhead as he lowered into the wheat field. The crows flew away leaving a pungent smell lingering through the air.
Now they thought the dark must be getting to them or maybe just this mysterious native man was trying to pull some Trick on them knowing that they would lead a pursuit after this road.
So with even what they had both just positively saw they ventured on trying to shake it off as nothing.
Dorkpool: Taylor Swift read this story, and said, “I have a song!”
Fairly soon enough they came to Beginning they stood there for a moment Starring down the seemly non ending trail. Hastily they jumped to the task at hand proceeded down the road.
Both: (George and Harland): We’re off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz!
Cautiously looking behind their back every moment to make sure the Rock crunching sounds they where hearing were not the Native man following them.
they finally made it to the middle out of breath the two of them sat down on the top of a cracked foundation of a old building for a cigarette
Dorkpool: Cigarette? What, are we suddenly in an anti-smoking PSA?
As George strikes his match to light his smoke Harland asks do you think we will make it back tonight George? Of Course we will! what kind of question is that you make it sound like we are going to die or something Harland!
Mirror: $50 says they’re going to die.
George said Well you saw that...THING! back there what about what he said? The omen? said Harland OH WILL YOU STOP IT! that's the old native man trying to scare the life outta us you saw how he was always sneaking up on those youngsters to frighten them
hes just trying to get a good laugh now said George.
Harland laughs i guess your right George what was i thinking?
Mirror: (Harland’s Thoughts): Does Wonder Woman wear a Wonderbra?
So they press on despite the darkness was scareing Harland at every turn George got a occasional laugh now and then from him jumping so high from the sounds of the night.
Dorkpool: (Harland): Ha ha ha, my friend’s terror is hilarious!
Along the last mile stretch of the road the sounds started to get louder as if intentional. God i wish these Bugs would shut up their giving me a head ache!said George. What did you say George? said Harland What about the bugs?
Dorpool: Not the bees, my God.
No i heard something else. Just as George was about to answer his body Crumbles to the ground in a pile of grotesque Black slime.
Dorkpool: The symbiote is getting less subtle in trying to get a host.
GEORGE!!! Harland pulling on his hand as hard as he can I CANT HOLD ON! FORGET ME JUST RUN HARLAND NOW!! no i wont leave you he thought pulling with even more strength but despite his best efforts George is Swallowed whole by the Creature.
Mirror: Called it.
As Harland starts running the Slime Rises into a Person... the Man...
Dorkpool: (Slime): I AM A MAN! –punch-
It leaps right into front of his path And stares at the ground. This road was the loss of all my people and one of my sons must of told you of our deaths here right? you are walking the Path of a thousand tears your people are why we are lost to this day.
Mirror: Really? The Path of a Thousand Tears doesn’t even have a sing denoting it? Wow, you guys really screwed over Native Americans.
Dorkpool: Hey, they have casinos. They’re doing alright.
Harland punches the monster.
Dorkpool: (Harold): I AM A MAN!
Mirror: Dude, you already used that joke.
Dorkpool: But it works so well…
GET AWAY FROM ME! Still in the face of a polite person you are truly the monster.
I will let you live...But you will always be haunted with the memory of your best friend being killed... The man Forms back into the ground. Harland stands there With his face aiming toward the ground thinking of George why couldn't i have saved my best friend?
Mirror: Hey, look on the bright side. Less job competition.
Tears forming he starts running for home...As he runs the road the spirit fly's over the Land and says....Now you will know true suffering....
Dorkpool: (Spirits): You’re going to read “Sonic.exe Round 2.”
Mirror: (Harland): Please, have mercy!
Dorkpool: This is really not a good story.
Mirror: Agreed. It has very bad spelling and grammar, almost interchangeable characters, a plot that’s simultaneously cliché and confusing (though the confusion may stem from the bad spelling and grammar that gets in the way of the story), and, to be honest, it doesn’t make much sense. Why does the whatever-the-hell want to make Harland suffer? Yes, they were both walking on the Path of a Thousand Tears, but why Harland? That kind of needs to be addressed.
Dorkpool: Yep. Though there is one good thing: it’s not very long, nor is it annoyingly grating. It’s just bad. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d walk the Path of a Thousand Tears? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.