Mirror: Does it include Jar Jar Binks?
Dorkpool: I hope not. But let’s obsess over a video game and Riff this bitch!
Ben was a 12-year old kid who really enjoyed the Legend of Zelda Series.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): It’s why he got pissed whenever people confused Link and Zelda.
He had just gotten the game Majora's Mask and was excited to brag to his friends he would make on his first day of school.
Fate has a funny way of screwing people over.
Mirror: Like Donald Trump.
Dorkpool: No, his own racist stupidity screwed him over.
On his first day of school Ben was picked on, pushed around, even beat up a few times for being a "nerd" as they called it.
Everyday was the same thing, go to school and get beat up, come home and play some more Majora's Mask. From how devoted he was to the game, his parents joked he was married to it.
Dorkpool: (Ben): Majora’s Mask is love, Majora’s Mask is life.
One day, he decided to stand up to the bullies and went to the principle. After the bullies left the office, they dragged Ben to the pool once school ended. Winter break now beginning.
After more ridicule and beatings they eventually tossed him in, despite his protests of not knowing how to swim.
With a splash, he landed in the deep end of the pool and started struggling to stay afloat. The bullies just laughed as he slowly went under and appeared on the top.
After Ben went under the third time, he did not come back up. The bullies had planned on getting him out if he got up the third time, but they started getting worried and looked for any sign of him. Once they figured out what they did, they ran away.
Mirror: Guess the third time wasn’t the charm.
Dorkpool: Roll credits!
His spirit, now with the look of Link from the series he loved so much, rose out of the water and shook his head.
Mirror: Wait, are they saying that if I drown after obsessing over something, I will rise from the dead as my favorite character from that?
Dorkpool: …you just want to be ghost Nora, don’t you?
Mirror: Maybe I do. Don’t crush my dreams.
It was at that point he went to his room, and looked at his game. He was going to get back at the bullies and he had the perfect plan of doing it, he was going to haunt his game cartridge knowing his dad would sell it due to financial problems.
Fate also has a way of granting one's final wish.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): That’s why Wonderbras now fire Twinkies.
It was on Monday, a few weeks after the murder, that Ben's body was found in the pool. That was also the day the bullies decided to get together to play a new game Chuck bought in a flea market Ben's dad took part in.
It was on Tuesday that Chuck was found hanging from a belt in his closet.
Mirror: Somewhere, Peppermint Patty is crying.
On Wednesday, the body of Theodore was bound with a self-inflicted gunshot to the head.
Thursday was the day Chris was found with a fatal slice across his neck.
On Friday, Brandon died of overdose on pills of various kind.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Police were confused as to why he took a morning after pill.
On Saturday, Ben concluded his vengeance complete.
On Sunday, Ben continued to haunt the game.
Mirror: The afterlife made Ben kind of a dick.
On the television in Chuck's room Tuesday, was the data select screen of Majora's Mask. Both slots were filled, each with a different title. Anyone who read the titles instantly knew it involved Ben. Because the titles said:
Dorkpool: (Title): The Curious Case of Benjamin Drowned.
Mirror: Roll cred – wait, didn’t you make that joke already?
Dorkpool: This story is…eh.
Mirror: The plot is pretty cliché and standard. Bullies are mean to kid, kid dies, becomes ghost, screws them over. Actually, speaking of the bullies, they were never named until the end. Way to make distinguishable characters. Well, ok, to be fair, they weren’t characters who needed to be developed or anything, so whatever. Now Ben though, he’s a bit confusing. So he gets bullied, and exacts lethal vengeance from beyond the grave through a series of fate-created contrivances. Fine. Why does he continue to haunt the cartridge? Can he not go to the afterlife or whatnot now? If he can’t, why not just mention that? Because based on the way this was written, it seems like Ben’s just a dick if he keeps haunting it and screwing with people at this point. Hell, he’s become a bully himself at this point. Also, this still doesn’t answer some questions, like what the hell was that old guy doing with the game in the first place? I mean, shouldn’t prequels answer questions, not create them (and plot inconsistencies). And please, don’t say Star Wars. We like to pretend Jar Jar Binks never happened.
Dorkpool: There are some good things. The story is short, and has pretty good spelling and grammar. Honestly, it’s not a bad story per se, it’s just sort of “meh.” But that’s what we think. Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d be killed by some ghost in a game cartridge? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.