He had to kill. He’s to do so for as long as he can remember. He doesn’t know why, and he doesn’t really care. He just accepts it.
He’s barely a man, barely past being a boy. However, he doesn’t consider himself a boy or a man. He’s a killer.
He sees a man and a woman walking. The man was strong and muscular, the woman thin and attractive. Looks don’t matter to the killer; all that matters is their deaths.
The killer goes over to the couple, his knife out and gleaming in the moonlight. The man gets in front of the woman, as if to protect her. He clearly doesn’t know what’s going to happen. The killer intends to change that. He leaps at the man, who tells the woman to go while he fights the killer. The woman does so, saying she’ll get help. The man isn’t really paying much attention due to getting attacked.
The man tries to fight the killer, with the killer both respects and dislikes. It makes his work all that much harder. However, with a few well placed knife wounds, the man is rendered incapable of resistance. But he’s still alive, which the killer wants. There’s something he has to say.
"Go to sleep," he whispers in the man’s ear before slitting his throat.
Dorkpool: You know, we don’t talk much about the Spinpasta Wiki.
Mirror: Any reason for that?
Dorkpool: Because most of the Riffs don’t come from there.
Mirror: Why is that?
Dorkpool: Because the Creepypasta Land Wiki exists.
Mirror: True. But we should make jokes about something else.
Dorkpool: Exactly. Hence the Spinpasta Wiki, and this story, "An Unexpected Reaction." So, let’s grow to giant size and Riff this bitch!
Slenderman opened the tent to find that the group of teenagers whom he had been stalking were now dead.
Dorkpool: (Slender Man): God damn it. I knew I should’ve spent more time killing them than stalking them.
And in the far corner was a skinny teenager in a white hoodie and black pants, tearing chunks of flesh from the severed arm of one of them with sharp teeth. His skin was pure white, there were black rings around his eyes, and his mouth was impossibly wide. There was no mistake about it; this was
Mirror: (Narrator): …a crappy Joker wannabe.
Jeff the Killer.
Mirror: Same thing.
And he had beaten The Operator to his prize.
Enraged, Slenderman tore the tent to peices with his tendrils.
Dorkpool: At least he didn’t tear the tent to pieces.
Before Jeff could react, Slenderman knocked him onto the ground with a hyper-extended punch.
Mirror: Not a hyper-realistic punch? Wow, you guys are losing your touch.
Jeff fumbled for his knife and tried to fight back, but Slenderman pinned him to a tree.
Slenderman jabbed his tendrils deep into Jeff's back in an attempt to peirce his organs and kill him.
Dorkpool: We’re spelling "pierce" that way now? So is that band now called "Peirce the Veil".
But Jeff didn't die.
Both: Damn it.
In fact, he wasn't feeling pain at all. He had the odd sensation of energy trickling into his body.
When Slenderman noticed that nothing was happening, he released the boy. He assumed he had merely missed his vital organs and readied his tendrils again.
Jeff noticed that his pants and hoodie now felt tighter. What just happened?
Mirror: He finally hit puberty.
He looked down and saw that he was no longer skinny. His muscles had grown significantly and were starting to fill out his once-loose hoodie. And he felt...stronger. Much stronger.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): He was now strong enough to beat those who mocked his story.
How DID this happen? All he could remember is that Slenderman had stuck his tendrils in him and he had felt something flow into him.
That thought was interrupted by a piercing sensation in his back. Jeff felt energy trickling into him again. Then he put it all together. He somehow now had the ability to draw energy from Slenderman's tendrils into himself.
Mirror: Of course! Wait, what?
Jeff, taking advantage of his newly-discovered ability, started draining power from The Operator at a rapid pace. Slenderman realized something was wrong as he slowly grew weaker and tried to disengage his tendrils, but the force of Jeff's siphoning was just too strong.
Dorkpool: (Jeff): This is for "Jeff the Killer vs Slenderman!"
As he drained more energy from Slenderman, Jeff's muscles swelled further. An amazing rush of power surged through his whole body, and his hoodie, which was once comfortably loose, started to rip apart from the strain of his increasing bulk. His pants were doing the same, thanks to his now Herculean leg muscles.
Mirror: So Jeff the Killer’s now drawn by Rob Liefeld?
Jeff stopped draining, and looked down at his body again. Slenderman was hacking and wheezing. His suit was now slightly greyer, and his body was shaking. "PLEASE...NO MORE...LET ME GO..." he pleaded. It had come to this; he was bowing down to a mortal. But it was either this or possibly face death. He crawled toward the now-enormous youth and weakly grasped his ankle with his claws. "I'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE...I'LL DO ANYTHING...JUST...STOP..."
Dorkpool: And so began many erotic fan fictions.
Jeff ignored his pleas, and kicked him in the head. The Operator released his ankle, and fell to the ground again, twitching.
With that rude interruption taken care of, Jeff went back to admiring his glorious new body. He flexed a bicep, and it strained his sleeve. He could distinctly hear fibers rip. He felt the muscle with his other hand, and even through the thick cotton he could tell it was hard as steel. Ah, marvelous. With his flawless white skin, gorgeous face, and new godlike physique, he was truly a work of art. He was even more beautiful than before.
Mirror: Great, now his fangirls are going to orgasm at the sight of him.
He could have taken the tendrils out of his back and left then, but then he had a thought. Why stop here? If he were as strong as Slenderman, he would be truly unstoppable. He could destroy entire cities with his might. He wouldn't have to bother with stalking people and killing them one at a time, he could crush them all at once. He liked this idea. Yes...YES! He needed to have more of this power!
Dorkpool: HE MUST HAVE THE POWWWWWER! JEFF-MAN!
"YES! This power...it's incredible! I...MUST...HAVE...MORE!"
His eyes turned blood-red, and his grin became even more distorted. What few shreds of human emotion were left in his already-disturbed mind vanished, and were replaced by a surging hunger. He no longer even remembered Liu.
Dorkpool: No, Liu.
All that mattered was power. More power.
Jeff was no longer human. He was...a beast.
Dorkpool: Is it his rage that Batman likens punk to?
Slenderman doubled over in pain and clutched his chest as the draining started again. "YES! MORE POWER! BIGGER...STRONGER!" roared Jeff as his hoodie and pants ripped off like tissue paper under the strain of his growth, revealing rippling, bulging rock-hard muscles.
Mirror: That’s not the only thing that’s rock hard, if you know what I mean.
Dorkpool: …really? Really?
He continued to grow, towering over even the suffering Slenderman, and loomed high over the trees of the forest.
Slenderman was barely alive now. His suit was ashen-gray and his limbs had lost all their elasticity, looking and feeling like long, brittle twigs. Jeff ripped his tendrils out of his back, plucked him out by his collar, and held him in front of his face. Slenderman managed to gather the strength to lift his head to look at his tormenter, and quickly wished he hadn't.
Dorkpool: Hey, it’s how I feel about reading this story.
Jeff was now a 40-foot-tall, freakishly muscular titan.
Mirror: Is this a new anime? "Attack on Jeff."
And there was something...WRONG about his face. It could have been the fact that his carved grin had somehow gotten even wider and more sadistic-looking, but it was probably more due to the fact that his eyes were glowing bright red. "AWWWW, OUT OF JUICE ALREADY?" he said in a voice that sounded like thunder booming.
Dorkpool: (singing): THUNDER!
Mirror: (singing): Oh oh oh ohhhh
Dorkpool: (singing): THUNDER!
"WELL, I KNOW YOU HAVE BROTHERS.
Dorkpool: I thought Slendy was an only child.
THEY WILL GIVE ME *MORE* POWER! I WILL SOON BE THE STRONGEST BEING IN THE UNIVERSE! I SHALL BE A GOD, EVEN GREATER THAN ZALGO HIMSELF! HAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Mirror: I want to see Zalgo beat Jeff’s ass right now.
Jeff took Slenderman to the tallest, mightiest tree in the forest and tied his tendrils to the top branch. "SORRY TO LEAVE YOU *HANGING*, SLENDY,
Dorkpool: You’re not funny!
Mirror: Bring on the hot chicks!
BUT I HAVE SOME MORE FEEDING TO DO. I THINK I'LL START WITH THAT FRUITY ONE WITH THE TOP HAT.
Dorkpool: El Catrin?
HAHAHAHA!!!" He walked away, his footsteps causing the earth to shake.
Slenderman had to get out of here. He had to alert his Proxies and the other Slendermen. If they couldn't find a way to stop Jeff, the universe was doomed...
Dorkpool: To be continued…or not. Hopefully not.
Mirror: There’s a sequel.
Dorkpool: God damn it.
Dorkpool: I…what even the fuck is this story? I’m not sure how to react to it. It’s just so stupid and weird.
Mirror: Well, there are quite a few things that suck about it: the spelling isn’t very good, there isn’t much characterization, Jeff’s motivations go from serial killing to genocidal maniac, and Jeff’s new ability isn’t explained at all. Speaking of which, all this story does is set up Jeff’s new powers. That’s it. It doesn’t explain them, just sets them up.
Dorkpool: There are sequels, so the powers might be explained later. As for this story, it’s really hard to figure what to think of it. On the one hand, I think it sucks. On the other, there’s not much I can complain about. Yes, the concept is weird and makes no sense, but it might be explained in the next story. And all this story is really for is setting up Jeff’s powers, the scenario, and the sequel. And it doesn’t do a bad job when it comes to that. Sure, it’s not perfect, and on its own it’s not very good, but since it is just the first part, I’m going to cut it some slack. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d continue Riffing this series (we will, FYI)? Do you wish Jeff would take our powers? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
The woman cursed under her breath. Her cell phone wasn’t getting signal, and there seemed to be no one around. Well, that wasn’t quite true. There was that…whatever or whoever that was that’s following her. It’d been a few steps behind her for a while. Maybe that meant it finished off her boyfriend, or maybe it meant he fought it off. She hoped it was the latter.
She couldn’t see the thing that’d been chasing her, and decided to stop for a second to catch her breath.
That was a mistake.
It took only a few seconds for her to be pushed against a wall with a knife under her neck. She was face-to-face with the thing. Its face was white as snow, with eyes ringed in black. However, the thing that was most prominent on its face was its smile. It was cut into the thing’s face, and the cut was puffy and inflamed.
She smelled the thing’s rancid breath, and tried not to gag. Instead, working up every last ounce of courage, she asked, "W-who are you? What are you?"
The thing seemed to think for a second, and said, "Jeff. I’m Jeff."
The woman considered this information. This thing – probably a he – had a name, and will talk to her. Maybe she can reason with him, and convince him not to kill her.
She was about to say something else, something that might make Jeff stop. However, she found out that it’s not very easy to talk when one has a knife lodged in their throat.
She gasped and sputtered as blood started leaking out of her mouth. She heard Jeff say in a strangely distorted voice, "Go to sleep." Was the light that she saw coming from Jeff or her? And why is she seeing her boyfriend? She never got the answer to those questions before she fell to the floor in a pool of ever-expanding blood.