Said counterpart took out said device from a pouch on his belt, and held it up. “Right here,” he answered.
“How long does it take for this thing to work?” Dorkpool asked.
The other Dorkpool, the Mirror one, activated it, and asked, “How long does a Riff take?”
Dorkpool: You know, I don’t think the two of us have ever Riffed a story from the Spinpasta Wiki.
Mirror: I think you’re right. Weird.
Dorkpool: Well, in all defense, the Creepypasta Land Wiki has more crap. Anyway, this story was actually Riffquested-
Dorkpool: Hey, I think it works.
Mirror: Says the guy who made the “Dork Report.”
Dorkpool: -grumbles- Anyway, this story - “Parappa the Rapper Anime Lost Episode” - was requested -
Mirror: Much better.
Dorkpool: - by fan, friend, and fellow Riffer TheAzumangaDaiohFan. So thank you for that, Azu. Anyway, now that the name drop and such is out of the way, let’s randomly have Chinese or Japanese letters, and Riff this bitch!
WARNING: THIS IS MY FIRST PASTA
Dorkpool: Oh, well, now we know it’s going to suck.
Remember the anime on Fuji TV called PaRappa The Rapper, right? It's an anime based on the Parappa series. But there was one time, Fuji TV accidentally aired an episode that was NEVER supposed to be aired on TV.
Mirror: (Narrator): The sex tape episode.
This episode alone scarred the kids for life who watched this. Parents flooded Production I.G. with complaints that this episode scared their kids to death with all the content in it.
Very few people remember it, and it never got to go on YouTube due to copyright reasons.
Dorkpool: In other words, you couldn’t be bothered to make the episode.
If you managed to tape this episode when it aired, consider yourself lucky. But whatever you do, don't post it on YouTube
Mirror: (Narrator): Try Dailymotion.
or your account will be suspended due to a copyright claim from Fuji TV, Production I.G. and Sony Computer Entertainment.
Last night, I was playing Sonic R
Dorkpool: Oh, no, it’s the lost sequel to “Sonic.exe”!
on my Sega Saturn in my room, but when my mom opened the door, she handed me a package. It was from Japan. So, I opened and it was a VHS tape. I remember buying it off Ebay, whereas it was a blank VHS tape. It was labeled:
Mirror: Translation: Hot Dogs Make the World Go Square.
I quickly went to Google Translate on my computer and it said: "PaRappa The Rapper Episode 31 PaRappa's Suicide".
PaRappa's Suicide? PaRappa didn't kill himself at all! It was an unaired PaRappa episode. I put the tape in my bedroom (which, I had a VCR player). I was so excited,
Dorkpool: (Narrator): I wet myself!
I went to go get some popcorn and some pop, then I sat down and was ready to watch this unaired episode, as I clicked the play button. At first, there was a minute of pure static.
Dorkpool: Slender Man, stop trolling people.
Then it cut to the intro, but something was wrong about it.
The animation looked very rough, like it wasn't finished yet. The audio was also pitched down two octaves and was in g-major. So after the intro, of course, the name of the episode appeared in bloody text.
Dorkpool: Did the cliché physically hurt you too?
As you would expect, I was very shocked. But I thought at first that this was maybe just a morbid joke, seeing how this episode looked somewhat unfinished. It skipped the pre-title card thing. So I finally got to see the episode.
Mirror: (Narrator): It was quite a disappointment.
It starts out with PaRappa playing a video game of some kind.
Dorkpool: Grand Theft Rapper V.
Then Katy Kat comes in and says "パラッパ?",
Mirror: Translation: Are you the Ultimate Warrior?
then PaRappa says "私の人生はたれから抜け出す!"
Dorkpool: Translation: Load up the people in the spaceship, load it with the rocket fuel!
Katy Kat then says "良し！"
Mirror: Translation: So that’s a yes.
and walks out of PaRappa's room. She went to hang out with Paula Fox.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): There, she found out what it was the fox said.
PaRappa went back to playing that video game. But Katy Kat came back to make funny sounds.
Mirror: So Katy didn’t make any Adam Sandler noises.
Then, PaRappa was very angry, telling her to get out immediately. But, Katy Kat was feeling a little worried.
Act one ended with the shot of Katy Kat. When act two started, PaRappa sat on his bed, crying.
Both: Ow! The cliché!
The crying went on and on, it got more pained, and sounded more realistic, better acting than you would think possible. The animation started to decay even more as he cried, and you could hear murmuring in the background.
Dorkpool: You know, I’d like to know what these people who are murmuring actually say.
The character could barely be made out, he was stretching and blurring, he looked like deformed shadows with random bright colors thrown on him.
This sobbing went on for all of act two.
Mirror: (Narrator): It was boring, so I decided to do something else.
Act two opened with PaRappa still crying on his bed.
Mirror: Didn’t act two already end?
Dorkpool: Isn’t “Squidward’s Suicide” already a story?
He touched his eye and cried. he cried really loud and then super loud.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Then he cried ludicrously loud.
Then the show cuts to a scene where he has soulless black eyes and he was in black and white. His mouth is completely gone.
Mirror: That’s one way to shut somebody up.
The picture scared the crap out of me. Screaming is heard in the background. The screen switches to a man's dead body laying on the ground.
Dorkpool: (singing): And now I’m lying on the cold hard ground! Oh! Trouble, trouble!
Act two ended with the shot of PaRappa's killer. When act three started, PaRappa is trying to kill Katy Kat with a shotgun and she died.
Dorkpool: Countdown: The Creepypasta.
The final image was PaRappa killing himself and laying in the bed, but all drawn in hyper realistic.
Then the lost episode ends, with a black screen and text saying: "パラッパはパラッパタウンに身を殺した。シリーズは終わった。さようなら。"
Mirror: Translation: Bleach is love, Bleach is life. Love Bleach.
Then the credits roll, for some reason only listing: "脚本：櫻井宏明".
Dorkpool: Translation: Oh, and Attack on Titan too.
Then after the credits, instead of the upcoming episode preview, there was text saying:
Mirror: Translation: This really means nothing, but because it’s bold, you think it means something.
I took the tape out of the VCR and smashed it with a hammer.
Dorkpool: Stop! Hammer time!
I will NEVER experience something like that again.
Mirror: (Narrator): Until the sequel! “Dead Parappa the Rapper”!
I still have nightmares about this episode, sometimes I dream about the creepy PaRappa picture.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Other times I have disturbingly erotic wet dreams about Katy Kat.
Sometimes I see it at night when I'm trying to sleep, just out of the corner of my eye. It's always brief, but I can always feel it watching me.
Mirror: (Narrator): Especially when I touch myself.
However in 2009, I went to the page where I bought the tape on eBay, but it was gone. I was incredibly happy.
Dorkpool: Glad someone’s happy.
Dorkpool: Well, this story sucks.
Mirror: Well, if a story is trying to copy “Squidward’s Suicide”, what do you expect? Seriously, there were parts that felt like they copied that story almost verbatim.
Dorkpool: Clearly, you’ve never read “Pythor’s Suicide”.
Mirror: Do I want to?
Dorkpool: No, no you don’t.
Mirror: Anyway, outside of copying, this story is littered with clichés. Clichés are fine if used in moderation, or can’t be avoided, but this is ridiculous. Outside of unoriginality, the random Japanese or Chinese or whatever characters thrown in there make no sense, and it makes me wonder how the narrator remembered them so well. Speaking of the narrator/main character, we know almost nothing about him/her, so it’s hard to care about what happens to him/her. The plot is unoriginal and boring, and, first Creepypasta or not, it still sucks.
Dorkpool: That all being said, the spelling and grammar are alright, and it isn’t too long. But yeah, other than that, it’s not very good. Now, some might think we’re being too harsh considering that this is this author’s first Creepypasta, but I don’t really consider this much of an excuse. I mean, it can excuse some things, like the occasional cliché, or weird stylistic choices, or a plot hole here or there, but I don’t think that excuse applies to this story. But that’s just me. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d continue being physically hurt by clichés? Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Also, thank you, Azu.
The two Dorkpools went back to the device right as it activated, bringing in a woman. She’s dressed in a green and rather scantily uniform, similar to Mirror Dorkpool’s in that it has the whole “Mirror Universe” to it. She wore a black domino mask, green gloves, and black boots.
“Hiya, Dorky…er, Dorkies?” she said.
“Who’s this?” Dorkpool asked his counterpart.
“Poison,” he answered.
Dorkpool looked her over, and said, “The Mirror Universe is a rather strange place, isn’t it?”
Mirror Dorkpool sighed, and asked Poison if she brought something along. She nodded, and took out another device similar to the one that brought her to this universe.
“Splendid,” he said. “Let’s bring in the cavalry.”