Mirror: That’s great! Finally, gay couples can officially show their love for their spouses, plus get the benefits that one receives from marriage.
Dorkpool: I know! I’m rather happy about this.
Mirror: So am I. Are we doing anything special for this event?
Dorkpool: Er…no. Well, Riff-wise that is.
Dorkpool: Well, I have no idea what story to use. Do I use one with gay main characters? Because I can only think of one, and trust me, it’s not very appropriate for today.
Mirror: Fine. What are we Riffing then?
Dorkpool: “Blood Lust.”
Mirror: Subtle name.
Dorkpool: Yep. So, let’s meet a guy called Rich and Riff this bitch!
Another line of murders in the usa, last night in miami.
Dorkpool: So a normal night in Miami.
One young boy, a dog, a man, three young women and a pregnant woman. All on the same family. Remember to be careful and keep windows locked and doors as well. Keep evweryonwe safe God knows when the killer will be caught.
Mirror: God knows exactly when, but won’t tell. You know, I don’t want to spread any blasphemous rumors, but I think that God might have a sick sense of humor.
God bless you all.
Life. So fragile. So easy to destroy. I’m not normal, not anymore anyway. It was all his fault. All his fault I’m this way.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): It’s Tom Cruise’s fault that I’m now a Scientologist.
I never wanted to kill, or to become the drunk I am either, but it was all that day, that fateful day, with that awful man. I had just started collage, I was still young and didn’t understand the real dangers of the world. The REAL ones, people like Rich.
Mirror: There’s nothing more dangerous than a guy named Rich.
Rich was one of my peers, a year older than I but somehow a genius.
Rich was working to be a scientist, and was looking for some test subjects. he assured me they weren’t dangerous and said he’d pay well.
Dorkpool: Of course he’d pay well. After all, he is Rich.
Mirror: -smacks Dorkpool-
Dorkpool: I deserved that.
I was swimming in debt, so the idea of some money in my pocket was tempting and I agreed to his terms and conditions. Little did I know What he really wanted to do to me.
Mirror: Hopefully it isn’t anything that would make this story NSFW.
As I walked into his small home I was slowly getting more and more uneasy. I knocked on the freshly polished door. He greeted me quickly and invited me in. I looked at his small home. It was cozy on the inside but it made me feel uneasy still. Before I knew it he had a baseball bat to my head whacking my consciousness away.
Dorkpool: Anesthesia is for chumps.
I awoke on a cold metal table, pain surged not I just through my head, but my back, eye and a long part of my right cheek. I felt dry blood caked to my slightly long hair as I stumbled up my back pain worsening. I finally found a mirror screaming I.
Mirror: (screaming): I!
Terror as I realized why I was half blind. My left eye was gone! I looked at a large gash and stitches on my right cheek and I raised my blood stained shirt revealing a large cobra tattoo on my back.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Great, this is the second time I’ve been knocked out and branded a member of a snake themed cult.
After observing it for some time I finally understood. It was the sign a killer pit on all his victims before death, their corpse always had things missing, eyes, intestines, hearts, lungs and brains,
Mirror: (Narrator): Lives, sphincters, ovaries, the list goes on.
A large variety of human organs. I began to look around for him. The minute I found him he was a corpse. The smell of death coated the room. And I liked it. I desired it.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): It was quite a turn on.
I needed it.
After I began to kill I couldn’t stop, killing one right after the other killing women, children, men, and animals alike. They never suffer though. They never get a chance to before I kill them. Please avoid me, if you see me call the police right away. I can’t control myself…. It’s all just inevitable.
Mirror: (Narrator): It’s inevitable that you’ll be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
Dorkpool: This story sucks.
Mirror: The spelling and grammar aren’t all that good, which occasionally causes a confusing sentence. There’s no characterization, and the idea is kind of cliché. I mean, an insane serial killer? Gee, where have I heard that one before? Also, why did the main character suddenly become a homicidal maniac? He’s knocked out by Rich (whose fate we have no idea about), wakes up, finds body parts, and goes nuts. What?
Dorkpool: There are good things. The story’s short, so it’s not a pain to get through. Other than that, there’s not much about this story that’s good. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d be killed by some random guy given powers or something by someone named Rich? Do you wish we’d have done something related to the legalization of gay marriage? (If you do, then please suggest a story. The only I can think of that might be mildly related to that would be a story where two gay guys kill guys and cut off their dongs. That, however, sends the wrong message) Leave your thoughts in the comments below.