Now, onto the regularly scheduled program.]
“Well, here we are,” Indometus said, finishing up her story.
Jake NukeIt, Dorkpool, and Spyder were all listening to her intently as she told of her backstory and homicidal sister, Incertus.
All were silent as they took in everything. Finally, Dorkpool spoke.
“Knowing all of this makes your decision to leave sounds…well, dumb.”
“Dumb?” Indo asked, taken aback.
“Well, yeah. I get the whole ‘I want to leave you out of this part of my life’ thing, but when you think of what you could’ve done just from the Cheese Doodle to stop her, it would make more sense for you to just move past that feeling and use the ship to track her and attack her or something.”
“You could’ve done it before your ex-boyfriend wrecked the ship,” Jake muttered.
“Not helping, Jake.”
“Actually, could you tell me what happened there?” Indo asked.
“Well, after you left I went into a drunken depression that drove away Mirror who went back to his universe where he wasn’t exactly wanted and was almost killed. I, meanwhile, hired someone to Riff with me and ended up getting back on my feet and then going and getting Mirror. I brought him back to this universe and it turns out the guys who wanted to kill him followed us here and shot down the Cheese Doodle. It crashed landed in the ocean, but everyone was ok except for the ship.” Dorkpool explained.
“Oh, my God…” Indo said.
“Yeah. And, the more I think about it, the more I realize that this entire chain of events started because you left. Considering how awful this has all been, I was hoping you had a more logical reason for your departure.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to get hurt,” Indo said with a hint of anger.
“Fat load of good that did me. My ship – ”
“Well, it’s more my ship,” Jake said.
“Wait, what?” Indo asked.
Dorkpool sighed. “Jake built the ship, but he’s full of shit because I actually used the ship. Either way, it doesn’t matter, since it’s now in pieces in the ocean, and I had to call on Jeff the Killer to come pick me up on his boat.”
“Jeff has a boat?”
“Oh, yeah. I replicated some money for him, and gave it to him because he said he wanted a boat for him and his wannabes. I gave him the money on the condition that he name the ship JeffxOC, because I’m funny like that. But that’s not the point. The point is, I’m mad at you. You left me without any sort of explanation, and led me to become a drunk and start this whole fucking chain of craptastic events.
“But, you know what? I don’t want to be mad. I’ve missed you, and we’ve got too much to do to be bickering and squabbling. So, how about I put my anger on the backburner, and we get back to this when the day is saved and the bad guys are beaten.”
“We can do that,” Indo said.
“Lovely. So, you have any idea where to go from here?”
“Not sure at the moment. When it was just me and Spyder, we went to bars and places where less than reputable people hung out and asked them if they knew anything. I was thinking that now that you two are here, maybe we could try something else.”
“You said my brother could talk to computers, right?” Jake asked.
“If he can talk to computers, there might be some at your old base that we can use to try tracking down everybody.”
“There are, unless it’s been looted. And even if there are computers, I doubt they’d still work or that there’d even be power for them at this point.”
Jake smiled. “Hey, I built the Cheese Doodle. I’m sure fixing some computers won’t be too hard.”
“Alright then. I guess we’re going to the former headquarters of the Other Heroes.” Dorkpool said.
The four left, unaware that they were being watched.
The Rake liked the woods. They were always a home for it, a place it could go to nurse its wounds and relax.
Which is exactly what the Rake was doing now, actually. After that vehicle exploded, it was able to leave the wreck, barely alive, and limped to the woods to try and recuperate. It was doing better now.
The Rake was resting when it heard voices. Its head shot up. Two of the voices sounded familiar, and there were definitely familiar smells. In fact, the smells were like those it was trying to kill in that exploding RV.
The Rake was not an intelligent creature. However, the Rake was smart enough to comprehend revenge, or at least want it. The Rake started running towards the smells…
…and suddenly, it stopped. Odd, it wanted to move, it was trying to move, but somehow its legs and arms weren’t working.
“I have no idea what you are or why you want them,” it heard a voice say. “But they’re mine.”
And then suddenly, the Rake felt a pain in its face. It started to cry, but only got out, at best, a yelp before everything went dark.
“I’m guessing this is it,” Dorkpool said.
The four had arrived in front of a large, gray building. It wasn’t anything grand or architecturally unique; if anything, it looked more like a bunker of some sort. A poorly maintained bunker, if the rampant plant growth on the building had anything to say about it.
“Yep. Home sweet home,” Indo said.
“Are there any security systems?” Jake asked.
“There were, but I don’t know if they’re still up. And if they are still up, they recognize DNA signatures and I know how to disable them, so we’re safe.”
They approached the front of building. Indo pressed a part of the wall next to the door, revealing a keypad. She entered a combination, and the door opened.
Before they could enter, they heard a brief animalistic scream. They all turned towards it, and Spyder seemed ready to go after it. Indo put a hand on his shoulder.
“Come on, let’s go inside. Whatever it is won’t be able to get us in there.”
Spyder nodded, and they all went in.
Incertus stepped over the corpse of the…whatever she just killed. She’d made all the water from its head explode out from its face, which had very lethal and messy results.
She didn’t mind the mess though. What she did mind was that this thing got in her way, and now her dear sister, her old friend, and those two other guys were going inside. It would’ve been easier to kill them outside, but she knew how to get in, so it’s not like she completely lost her opportunity to kill them.
As she started to walk towards them, she heard a crunch of leaves behind her. She whirled around to see what could best be described as a monochromatic clown. The clown was looking over the thing she killed.
“What a waste,” the clown muttered.
“Who the hell are you?” Incertus asked.
“I’m Laughing Jack, murderous clown extraordinaire. And who are you, and why do look like you were just dug up from a grave?”
“I’m Incertus, and that’s because I was. By the way, I thinking of killing you. Just so you know.”
“And why would you do that?”
“Oh, I totally understand that, but I think I could be of more use alive.”
“And why is that?”
“I saw you staring at those four. I’m guessing you want to kill one of them, right?”
“Really? Me too! We have so much in common!”
“I know, right? Which two do you want?”
“Dorkpool and that other guy he’s with.”
Incertus tilted her head in confusion. “Who’s Dorkpool?”
“The guy in the red suit. I take it you’re not after him.”
“You’re right. I want to kill Indometus and Spyder.”
“I take it Indometus is the girl with the cat ears and red lines on her body and Spyder is the giant spider thing.”
“You’re absolutely right. Aren’t you just a little smarty pants?”
“So, how about I take Dorkpool and the nerdy guy, and you take Indometus and the spider thing?”
Incertus thought about it. On the one hand, she wanted to kill this Laughing Jack guy. On the other, this guy could help get those two other people out of her way. Who knows, maybe she could kill Jack later?
“You’ve got yourself a deal,” she said.
The inside of the building was pitch black. Indo and Spyder both had natural night vision, but Jake and Dorkpool didn’t. Dorkpool, however, had a solution to this problem.
On his belt was a little symbol, the “Dorkpool symbol,” as he called it. He lifted the symbol up, revealing a light that shined that same symbol.
“Boom!” he said. “Crotch light!”
“I think it’s more a belt light than a crotch light.” Jake said.
“The crotch light is more impressive than your actual crotch,” Indo muttered.
Jake laughed, and Dorkpool looked like he was going to dispute it, then thought about it and nodded.
They all moved through the building. It was full of dust and cobwebs, and the paint seemed to be chipping.
As they walked along, Indo was thinking of all the times she had in this place, good and bad. She thought of the old days with her team, her friends, her family. It hurt. She was almost ready to cry.
She felt a hand in hers. Looking down, she saw that it was a red-gloved hand. She looked at Dorkpool, who nodded.
They eventually ended up in a large room full of computers.
“Was this Nerdrage’s room?” Jake asked.
“Yeah,” Indo said.
Jake started to work with the computers, when he noticed something.
“Seems like the dust over here’s been disturbed,” he said.
“So?” Dorkpool asked.
“He means that someone’s been here recently,” Indo said.
“Or maybe someone is still here,” a voice said.
Suddenly, the lights in the building turned on. Dorkpool turned off his light, and all four turned to look at who spoke.
It looked like Jake, but with some differences. He had more facial hair, his hair was longer, and looked more weathered. Plus, he had a giant gun.
“Took you guys long enough,” Nerdrage said, lowering the gun
TO BE CONTINUED…