Mirror: Yep. Independence Day. The day the world came together and fought aliens with the help of Bill Pullman and his epic speech!
Dorkpool: That’s the movie, not the reason we celebrate it.
Mirror: Yeah, well, Will Smith.
Dorkpool: Indeed. Anyway, the story we’re Riffing has nothing to do with the British or Will Smith. Nope, it’s a Jeff the Killer story called “Will You Go To Sleep Tonight?”
Mirror: Oh. Fun. Are you sure we can’t watch the movie?
Dorkpool: Later. Until then, let’s read fan fiction and Riff this bitch!
This CreepyPasta character and I have a small... "history" together.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): We used to date.
Even though we have never had the chance to meet. I am not sure about how some people feel about him; but I know one thing... He has caused too much innocent blood to be spilled. He is a very well-known CreepyPasta character; not too many people know what really made happened that day. Many know him as “Ghost Killer” and others know him as “Jeff the killer”.
Both: Who knows him as Ghost Killer?
I do believe I’ll enjoy exposing any weaknesses I find this time during my research and you; yes you lucky and unlucky readers are in for quite a treat.
Start Date: 12/9/13
Not much is known about Jeff but his origin story is famous across the internet.
Mirror: (Narrator): And boy, is it stupid.
I began compiling data to keep on file today while using the school’s computers finding anything I can. The only useful thing I found useful was a fan-fiction character bio I decided to tweak to correctly fit his profile and discarded any false data replacing with facts on our research topic.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): I edited it to make my ship canon.
Everything else found during my research was from old news articles and fan made CreepyPastas so far. I have heard of someone trying to end Jeff the killer.
I’ve wanted to do this as well so I may use this to my advantage.
--- Tomorrow’s research may be cut short to prepare for Jeff’s arrival. This will cause life to be harder for the both of us...
Oh well; it’s time for bed and it's time for Jeff to “Go to sleep”... Hehehe...
Mirror: You’re not funny!
Dorkpool: Bring back the hot chick!
Mirror: I can’t find an exit!
Day 2 of Research: 12/11/13
After being unable to get any research done last night I was left no choice but to work twice as hard today. But I did notice something last night; a light tapping at my window; a metallic sound... Like a knife tapping the glass.
Mirror: (Narrator): It was either on some glass, or upon my chamber door.
Dorkpool: (Poe): Quoth the raven, “Nevermore.”
I am not 100% sure exactly who or what was the source of the tapping but it did cost me a lot of sleep.
Today I did find however a lot of info on Jeff the killer and I completed his bio page to keep on file. While researching I found a character named “Jane the killer”, a past victim of Jeff’s who just so happens to have the same amount of hatred for Jeff as I do; perhaps she is the person I heard about the other day. I found out that she has been following Jeff trying to get revenge for what he did to her;
Dorkpool: He tasks her! He tasks her, and she shall have him. She’ll chase ‘round the moons of Nibia and ‘round the Antares maelstrom and ‘round Perdition’s flames before she gives him up!
it’s a strong possibility that her hatred was caused by the loss of family or loved ones making her hatred stronger than mine. Let’s see if she is an asset or an issue to my plans.
--- I’ve completed fortifying my living arrangements for this "research topic". I added strong locks to every door and window that leads outside and even added a padlock to my bedroom door. There is no way a psychopath like Jeff will get in without me knowing it right away. I am ready and Jeff knows it too. All three of us are waiting for the right time to strike... Isn’t that right... Jane...?
Mirror: (Narrator): Heh, this will totally make me look like I’m super smart and slick, and not at all like I’m jumping at shadows or anything.
Day 3 of Research: 12/12/13
Jane Arkensaw aka "Jane the Killer"
I decided since the “Research topic” is more dangerous because of having to deal with more than one CreepyPasta character; that in case I don’t survive my encounter I will post some of the data I’ve collected along with strategies I plan to use. Hopefully someone may be able to use what I found to save themselves or others.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): My strategy of spraying whipped cream into Jeff’s eyes will certainly save lives.
Something weird happened today though; my school had a lockdown. Jeff’s got guts to try to get me when I’m in school. But it looks like he failed because I’m still breathing right now. I have a feeling that I’ll be seeing Jane next. I can finally see if she will be an asset or obstacle in my plans.
Mirror: (Narrator): And see whether or not she has a nice asset.
Jeff’s life will end weather it’s by my hands or Jane’s; it just has to be done.
Here’s a warning for any of you reading this. Don’t go to sleep! That’s when he strikes! Just RUN and you might just get away with your life. Be careful out there...
Stay safe, stay alert, and Stay Awake!
Dorkpool: (Narrator): The hallucinations mean the insomnia’s working!
--- I think one of us will make there move soon. I’m ready for whatever happens. Hopefully you will be too; someone has to tell my story to my world if I get taken out in the progress.
Final Day of Research: 12/15/13
Everything went wrong! My plan failed! Jeff proved to be a worthy foe.
Mirror: Isn’t that what you said after fighting Jeff?
Dorkpool: No, I didn’t say anything since you and Indo decided to beam me up after Jeff cut out my tongue.
Mirror: Oh. Right. Sorry.
He broke into my house two nights ago; Right after I finished writing that day’s entry. I heard the crash of broken glass downstairs. I guess after trying to kill me in school failed he went for a more “direct” approach leaving stealth out of it completely. He came out at me with his kitchen knife along with a switch blade; but I was prepared.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): I knew my bat’leth would come in handy someday!
I grabbed the metal bat I hid in my room to protect myself; it’s all I had. It only made Jeff throw his switch blade deep into my leg. Ignoring the pain I rushed at Jeff with the bat breaking his arm with one hard swing. He knew I wasn’t going to let him win; so he escaped through my bedroom window.
I collapsed knowing I couldn’t go after him with these wounds and his knife still deep in my leg; but that wasn’t the only thing I had to deal with.
Jane walked into my room looking at me silently but I knew that she was laughing at my failure.
Mirror: Or at this story.
I was about to tell her she is the only one left now who could end Jeff. But I believe she already knew... So I asked her to get Jeff’s knife out of my leg then to hurry and do what had to be done. She did What I asked and left quickly and without a sound. I can't say the same for myself being injured...
Neither of them came back after that moment. I got my leg stitched up now and everything seems to be getting back to normal.I hate how my plan backfired so quickly; now Jeff and Jane are out there again. The thought makes me sick to my stomach. Well I’ll leave you now with an important warning from Jane, to me, to you...
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Don’t feed gremlins after midnight.
Don’t go to sleep... You may never wake up...
Mirror: So we get to sleep in for eternity? Awesome.
Dorkpool: This story sucks.
Mirror: This story is trying to sound serious and such, but it kind of fails for a few reasons. First, the author admits to being a kid looking up fan fiction on these characters to find out about them. Alright, the kid thing would be bad enough, but you’re looking up fan fiction on these characters? They obviously exist in your universe, so why not look up new reports on them or something? I mean, it would lend some authenticity to the story. However, it just feels like the main character is making a mountain out of a molehill with this story. Hell, it doesn’t even feel like he’s really obsessed over this. Maybe if he said something like, “My grades are dropping, my appetite’s gone, and my friends are worried about me. They don’t understand, no one does! Jeff is a menace – a monster! He needs to be stopped! And since no one else is willing to stop him, only I can!” That way some tension is created, along with a bit of characterization. In fact, there’s really no characterization on display here. At best, I can say that the main character is mildly obsessed with stopping Jeff. That’s it. Other than that, nothing.
Dorkpool: There are some good things. The spelling and grammar are pretty good, and the story’s short, which is nice. That’s about it though. For the most part, while it’s pretty well written, it’s not all that good. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you want some kid to research us based on fan fiction? Do we even have fan fiction based on us? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.