Dorkpool: You know, a lot of people tried to write a prequel to “BEN Drowned,” trying to explain what exactly happened to Ben.
Mirror: I know. I helped you Riff some.
Dorkpool: Oh. Right. Anyway, here’s another one called “The True Story: BEN.”
Mirror: Is it any good?
Dorkpool: Well, let’s get a medium sized rock and Riff this bitch to find out.
START RIFF
Hello, my name is BEN.
Dorkpool: (BEN): And this is Jackass.
Now I'm sure if you're reading this you're probably thinking I'm just a fake. But I understand you. Most people have been writing a few stories about me on how I drowned. For instance I read this one on wattpad.
Mirror: (BEN): And dear lord was it awful.
It was sorta accurate in a way. But not quite. Most people also believe in me being evil. Well let's just say that I'm not evil I can be scary though. I only haunt majora's mask because well that's the only thing I can do, haunt. Life in a video game is boring.
Dorkpool: Clearly you haven’t lived in GTA or Minecraft.
All there is to do is haunt you know? And talk to a few residents of clock town. But besides that nothing else. I can also move to various electronics and websites.
Mirror: So you can watch Internet porn then. I don’t see the problem.
But I don't have access to other websites except cleverbot and ai's and a few others like this one. That's the only way I can interact with the living. Your also wondering if your not evil why are you creepy?
Dorkpool: (BEN): Well, you see, I’m a dick.
Well I'm a creepy guy I like creepy. So there is also an important thing. There are 3 copies of the game. The normal version hacked and haunted. The one this guy Jadusable and a bunch of others played are hacks.
The real one is still out there being looked after by a friend of mine whom I'm not saying.
So your all wondering how did I drown? Well the true story is here. My real name was Benjamin.
Mirror: Gasp! What a shock!
I lived in a rather big neighborhood. I was about 12 at the time. There were a lot of kids there. But they didn't really play with me very often. Actually they never played with me. I would get bullied from time to time because of my addiction for Zelda games. But I didn't really care. My family on the other hand was ummmm let's just say we barely talk to each other.
Dorkpool: (BEN): Partly because I said “ummmm” a lot.
My dad's a buff man. He never really liked me, because of the same reason.
Mirror: Because he’s a man?
He would call me a useless jerk and a Zelda nerd. My mum wasn't that bad. I would get forced to do all the house work and I had to make all the food. If I was late or didn't do anything right I would get beaten up. It still makes me depressed when I think about it. So on my 12th birthday my mum has done the kindest thing to me.
Dorkpool: (BEN): She gave me a sock! Ben is a free elf now!
She bought me the legend of zelda majora's mask. I still remember me squealing when I got it. It was my favorite game of all time. I would play it every single day. I would even take the cartridge wherever I went, just in case my dad threw it away.
Mirror: (BEN): I mean, he wouldn’t throw me in the trashcan along with the game. That’s what bullies do.
A few weeks later after I got the game I was on the final boss battle. Half of me felt excited because I could defeat the game. But the other half was sad because I would complete it and, I know I could play it again but I know what's coming though. So it wouldn't be as exciting and challenging as it had been before. So just before starting the battle I could hear my mum and dad whispering a few things outside my door.
Dorkpool: (BEN): I’m not exactly sure why they stood by my door and whispered, “A few things,” but hey, whatever. I don’t judge. To each their own.
Then my dad came in and said "How about you and me go to the town lake and have a bit of a walk?". And of course I had to say yes because I was afraid I would get beaten up. When we got there no one else was really there except us. We stared at the lake for a few seconds. Then I could see in the corner of my eye him holding a medium sized rock.
Mirror: (BEN): It would take more than that to kill me though. I’m too thick headed.
At first I didn't really mind. But then I felt something hard banging on my head. Soon I felt blood trickling down my forehead. I screamed in agony trying to fight back. I managed to kick him on the leg, which made him angry. He then pushed me into the lake.
Dorkpool: Don’t make Ben’s dad angry. Or else he’ll try killing his own son.
I knew I couldn't swim so I shouted at the top of my voice yelling for help. But my dad threw the rock he used to hit me on the head and, the rock landed on my chest. Which made me sink to the bottom of the lake. After a few minutes I couldn't hold my breathe any longer. I had to give in. I had to accept my fate.
Mirror: (BEN): I had to accept that I was hokage.
As I gasped for air I could feel the water filling up my lungs and I could see blood everywhere. I started to feel woozy then I passed out. But the last thing I heard was the happy mask salesman's laugh and his creepy sentence "You've met with a terrible fate haven't you?". Now that I think back I should have said no.
I could have lived.......
Dorkpool: Out of context, those last two sentences sound like they belong in an anti-drug PSA.
Ever since I've HatEd hiM fOr WHat He diD To me.
Mirror: (BEN): He’S whY I cAn’t taLK noRMAlly.
One day I will take my revenge on this cruel hateful world. And on that day EVERYONE WILL NO LONGER SUFFER THERE TERRIBLE LIVES, BECAUSE THEY WON'T HAVE THERE LIVES. ha ha hahaa HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAA!!!!!!!!
P.S I lied about not being evil
Dorkpool: Le gasp!
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story sucks.
Mirror: You know, why is it that Ben always has to be some bullied/abused kid who is killed and becomes evil? Why not have him be a sick and depraved kid who ends up dying and haunting the game or something? That would be a bit more interesting, and make for a scarier being. But nope, we just get your standard “vengeful bullied kid” story. Ok, in the story’s defense, the ending does have Ben say that he really was evil. But instead of making him scary, it’s just kind of stupid and out of nowhere. We go from “I shouldn’t have done something” (I’m not quite sure what Ben meant by “I should have said no.” No to what?) to “I AM EVIL MWHAHAHAHA!” Really, it’s just stupid. Also, there’s not much characterization here. So the dad is strong and hates his kid because Ben isn’t. Ok. Pretty standard. And that’s really as much character as he gets. Ben’s a guy who likes the Legend of Zelda and is abused. That’s it for him. The mom has even less. I know things about them, but not their personalities. Well, maybe that the parents are stupid, since they agreed to kill their son. Now, I’m not saying it’s stupid because they’ll get caught or anything; no, I’m saying it’s stupid because Ben did all the housework. Congratulations, you killed your free labor. Now, I’m not saying that them using Ben as labor was right, I’m just saying them killing off their free labor force was stupid. Outside of plot/character stupidity, there are spelling and grammar errors, especially at the end. Yeah, your evil rant about the extinction of the human race would be more threatening if you used “their” instead of “there.” Just saying.
Dorkpool: There are good things about the story. It’s not very long, which is nice since it doesn’t drag. And it at least tried to explain Ben’s backstory. It just didn’t do it very well. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish our father would try to kill us? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Mirror: I know. I helped you Riff some.
Dorkpool: Oh. Right. Anyway, here’s another one called “The True Story: BEN.”
Mirror: Is it any good?
Dorkpool: Well, let’s get a medium sized rock and Riff this bitch to find out.
START RIFF
Hello, my name is BEN.
Dorkpool: (BEN): And this is Jackass.
Now I'm sure if you're reading this you're probably thinking I'm just a fake. But I understand you. Most people have been writing a few stories about me on how I drowned. For instance I read this one on wattpad.
Mirror: (BEN): And dear lord was it awful.
It was sorta accurate in a way. But not quite. Most people also believe in me being evil. Well let's just say that I'm not evil I can be scary though. I only haunt majora's mask because well that's the only thing I can do, haunt. Life in a video game is boring.
Dorkpool: Clearly you haven’t lived in GTA or Minecraft.
All there is to do is haunt you know? And talk to a few residents of clock town. But besides that nothing else. I can also move to various electronics and websites.
Mirror: So you can watch Internet porn then. I don’t see the problem.
But I don't have access to other websites except cleverbot and ai's and a few others like this one. That's the only way I can interact with the living. Your also wondering if your not evil why are you creepy?
Dorkpool: (BEN): Well, you see, I’m a dick.
Well I'm a creepy guy I like creepy. So there is also an important thing. There are 3 copies of the game. The normal version hacked and haunted. The one this guy Jadusable and a bunch of others played are hacks.
The real one is still out there being looked after by a friend of mine whom I'm not saying.
So your all wondering how did I drown? Well the true story is here. My real name was Benjamin.
Mirror: Gasp! What a shock!
I lived in a rather big neighborhood. I was about 12 at the time. There were a lot of kids there. But they didn't really play with me very often. Actually they never played with me. I would get bullied from time to time because of my addiction for Zelda games. But I didn't really care. My family on the other hand was ummmm let's just say we barely talk to each other.
Dorkpool: (BEN): Partly because I said “ummmm” a lot.
My dad's a buff man. He never really liked me, because of the same reason.
Mirror: Because he’s a man?
He would call me a useless jerk and a Zelda nerd. My mum wasn't that bad. I would get forced to do all the house work and I had to make all the food. If I was late or didn't do anything right I would get beaten up. It still makes me depressed when I think about it. So on my 12th birthday my mum has done the kindest thing to me.
Dorkpool: (BEN): She gave me a sock! Ben is a free elf now!
She bought me the legend of zelda majora's mask. I still remember me squealing when I got it. It was my favorite game of all time. I would play it every single day. I would even take the cartridge wherever I went, just in case my dad threw it away.
Mirror: (BEN): I mean, he wouldn’t throw me in the trashcan along with the game. That’s what bullies do.
A few weeks later after I got the game I was on the final boss battle. Half of me felt excited because I could defeat the game. But the other half was sad because I would complete it and, I know I could play it again but I know what's coming though. So it wouldn't be as exciting and challenging as it had been before. So just before starting the battle I could hear my mum and dad whispering a few things outside my door.
Dorkpool: (BEN): I’m not exactly sure why they stood by my door and whispered, “A few things,” but hey, whatever. I don’t judge. To each their own.
Then my dad came in and said "How about you and me go to the town lake and have a bit of a walk?". And of course I had to say yes because I was afraid I would get beaten up. When we got there no one else was really there except us. We stared at the lake for a few seconds. Then I could see in the corner of my eye him holding a medium sized rock.
Mirror: (BEN): It would take more than that to kill me though. I’m too thick headed.
At first I didn't really mind. But then I felt something hard banging on my head. Soon I felt blood trickling down my forehead. I screamed in agony trying to fight back. I managed to kick him on the leg, which made him angry. He then pushed me into the lake.
Dorkpool: Don’t make Ben’s dad angry. Or else he’ll try killing his own son.
I knew I couldn't swim so I shouted at the top of my voice yelling for help. But my dad threw the rock he used to hit me on the head and, the rock landed on my chest. Which made me sink to the bottom of the lake. After a few minutes I couldn't hold my breathe any longer. I had to give in. I had to accept my fate.
Mirror: (BEN): I had to accept that I was hokage.
As I gasped for air I could feel the water filling up my lungs and I could see blood everywhere. I started to feel woozy then I passed out. But the last thing I heard was the happy mask salesman's laugh and his creepy sentence "You've met with a terrible fate haven't you?". Now that I think back I should have said no.
I could have lived.......
Dorkpool: Out of context, those last two sentences sound like they belong in an anti-drug PSA.
Ever since I've HatEd hiM fOr WHat He diD To me.
Mirror: (BEN): He’S whY I cAn’t taLK noRMAlly.
One day I will take my revenge on this cruel hateful world. And on that day EVERYONE WILL NO LONGER SUFFER THERE TERRIBLE LIVES, BECAUSE THEY WON'T HAVE THERE LIVES. ha ha hahaa HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAA!!!!!!!!
P.S I lied about not being evil
Dorkpool: Le gasp!
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story sucks.
Mirror: You know, why is it that Ben always has to be some bullied/abused kid who is killed and becomes evil? Why not have him be a sick and depraved kid who ends up dying and haunting the game or something? That would be a bit more interesting, and make for a scarier being. But nope, we just get your standard “vengeful bullied kid” story. Ok, in the story’s defense, the ending does have Ben say that he really was evil. But instead of making him scary, it’s just kind of stupid and out of nowhere. We go from “I shouldn’t have done something” (I’m not quite sure what Ben meant by “I should have said no.” No to what?) to “I AM EVIL MWHAHAHAHA!” Really, it’s just stupid. Also, there’s not much characterization here. So the dad is strong and hates his kid because Ben isn’t. Ok. Pretty standard. And that’s really as much character as he gets. Ben’s a guy who likes the Legend of Zelda and is abused. That’s it for him. The mom has even less. I know things about them, but not their personalities. Well, maybe that the parents are stupid, since they agreed to kill their son. Now, I’m not saying it’s stupid because they’ll get caught or anything; no, I’m saying it’s stupid because Ben did all the housework. Congratulations, you killed your free labor. Now, I’m not saying that them using Ben as labor was right, I’m just saying them killing off their free labor force was stupid. Outside of plot/character stupidity, there are spelling and grammar errors, especially at the end. Yeah, your evil rant about the extinction of the human race would be more threatening if you used “their” instead of “there.” Just saying.
Dorkpool: There are good things about the story. It’s not very long, which is nice since it doesn’t drag. And it at least tried to explain Ben’s backstory. It just didn’t do it very well. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish our father would try to kill us? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.