Mirror: A lot of things, but I assume you have something particular in mind.
Dorkpool: Talk about the Creepypasta Land Wiki.
Mirror: Well, yeah, we’ve kind of beaten that to death.
Dorkpool: True, but new readers might not know of our opinions on it.
Mirror: And they can’t look at older Riffs because…?
Dorkpool: …anyway, the Creepypasta Land Wiki really does suck. Quite a few of its stories have ended up here. That’s not a good thing, since we specialize in making fun of bad stories. Speaking of bad stories, today we’ve got "The Story of Ravenous Flame", which is from the Creepypasta Land Wiki. So, without further ado, let’s flame on and Riff this bitch!
I woke up in my bed like a normally do.
Dorkpool: First sentence, and already we have a typo! Oh, joy.
But, this day was not even close to normal! It was still dark out. It was 10:15 AM when I woke up and that isnt a normal time for it to stay dark.
Mirror: That’s what you get for forgetting to set your clock.
"Mom? Dad?" I call out while I walk into their bedroom. When I get into there, I find my parents on their bed. Dead. There was this creature over them. Eating their flesh.
Dorkpool: Well someone is cheating on their diet.
"STOP!" I scream. He looks up at me and tries to attack me.
"Save her for later Rake." I hear a voice in the shadows call out to the person eating my parents. It's probably not even a person at all.
Mirror: (Narrator): It’s probably a lawn mower.
I get up once the 'Rake' continues to eat my parents.
"Do you think that you are going someone human?" The shadow calls to me.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Well, if I knew where "someone human" was, maybe I would go there.
"Leave. Me. Alone." I say in a pissed off voice.
"Haha. Why!" He says back to me stepping out of the shadows. I know him from the creepypastas i read online. He's...he's Jeff the Killer.
Mirror: (Narrator): Really, I meet Jeff? There are so many other Creepypasta characters, and I have to meet Jeff? Not someone cool, but that loser? My life sucks.
"And what do you want me to do? Huh? You expect me to sit around here all day waiting for that....thing to kill me?!
Dorkpool: (Jeff): Well, yeah.
Mirror: (Narrator): You’re not a very good planner, are you?
Dorkpool: (Jeff): I burned off my eyelids. What do you think?
You guys killed my parents and you guys expect me to just sit around here and allow it to happen you stupid thing! I won't allow you guys to kill me or even try and get near me! Do you fucking hear me Jeff!!!"
Mirror: (Jeff): What?
Dorkpool: (Jeff): Did you say something?
I scream to Jeff and I back him into the wall.
"Maybe we should just kill her now Jeff." The Rake says in a raspy voice. It's haunting me.
"No." Jeff says back to him. I back up off of him and open the door. I walk out and start getting dressed when someone grabs my hair.
"Let go of me!" I scream, trying to get out of the grasp of their hands.
"Such a pretty little body." Jeff says behind me.
Mirror: Ok, bad touch! Use the rape whistle!
I chill at his voice. He sounds like...he...wants me.
"LET GO OF ME!" I say. As I say that Jeff lets go of my hair and winces. I move my hair in front of my face. It's on fire.
Dorkpool: (singing): THIS HAIR IS ON FIIIIIIIIIIRE!
I look at my hands and open them. A fire ball appears and I throw it at Jeff making him fall down.
"I am Ravenous Flame. Try to hurt me and I WILL hurt you back. Cross the paths of hell where freedom is non-existent." I say to Jeff
Mirror: What? What in the seven hells just happened?
That is the end of my OC story. Do not steal because it IS copyrighted.
Dorkpool: Trust me, no one wants to steal it.
Dorkpool: This story sucks.
Mirror: It has less than adequate spelling and grammar, there’s no characterization, and it doesn’t really make sense. Well, let me elaborate a bit: the ending and main OC character make no sense. Why does she suddenly have flame power? Does a possible rapist in her midst turn her into the Human Torch? And what does "Cross the paths of hell where freedom is non-existent" mean? It was probably there to sound cool and epic and whatever, but it just comes off as stupid and nonsensical. Also, I truly doubt that this story is copyrighted per se. That does cost money, you know.
Dorkpool: There are some good things. The bad spelling and grammar doesn’t really impede understanding of the story (it’s just the bad writing and random plot elements that do that). The story is short, so it’s not a drag to read. And…that’s all. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d cross the paths of hell where freedom is non-existent? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.