Dorkpool sat at a computer terminal on the Cheese Doodle.
“Huh. Weird,” he said.
“What’s weird?” asked a voice behind him.
Dorkpool turned around to see Indometus standing behind him.
“How long have you been over there?” Dorkpool asked.
“Long enough to see you going over some security footage. And looking at a few naughty sites. I had no idea there was a fetish for-”
“Anyway,” Dorkpool interrupted. “what’s up?”
“Oh, not much. Wondering what you’re doing.”
“Going over some security footage…”
“Well, yeah, I knew that,” Indometus remarked.
“…to see if I can find anyone doing anything…traitor-like.”
“You believe that Slender Man knockoff?”
“Better to be safe than sorry.”
“Found anything?”
“Yes. Sometime around April 10, the security cameras went out. Not for long, but long enough. And around that time, a subspace pulse was sent. Someone sent something somewhere.”
“Do you know who?”
“If I did, they’d be kicked out the garbage chute. What time is it?”
Indometus checked. “About 10. Why?”
Dorkpool got up. “It’s time for a Riff.”
Dorkpool: You know, we here at Creepypasta Riffs rail on the Creepypasta Land Wiki. And I’d like to say that I’m not sorry. But I’d like to remind everyone that the Creepypasta Wiki isn’t exactly perfect either. And no, it’s not because I was basically told not to do Riffs on there. It’s because the Creepypasta Wiki has crap too. Like this story, “The School Bag.”
Mirror: -checks the Wiki- Ummm…that story’s been deleted from the Wiki.
Dorkpool: God damn it!
Mirror: We’re still Riffing this, right?
Dorkpool: Well, duh. Let’s go back to the 1950s, and Riff this bitch.
Back in the late 1950s there lived a boy named Jonathan.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): He was rather racist.
He had brown hair,he was short,and he always wore a black trenchcoat with a hood.
Mirror: Black trenchcoat? Are you sure we aren’t in the 90s?
He lived a normal life, but in school, he would always be bullied emotional and physical and they would say his trenchcoat is ugly and he wears it just to be cool.
Dorkpool: Well, yeah. Why else would you wear a trenchcoat?
One day, the bullies apologized to him and they became friends, or so he thought. A few weeks after The kids became friends, the bullies led Jonathan to a shed, The bullies called it the "hangout".
Mirror: (Narrator): Everyone else called it “a shed.”
Once the all the kids went in, the last one came in and locked the door.
The bullies then looked at Jonathan, and smiled. Jonathan whimpering, said things like, "What are you doing?!", "Stand back!" and "Get away from me!".
Dorkpool: Also, he said, “Aren’t bullies from the 1950s supposed to wear leather jackets?”
One of the bullies pulled Jonathan to the floor and the kids started to beat up Jonathan till he died.
Mirror: Story by Stephen King.
Years Later, during a reunion, one of the bullies noticed the shed where he killed Jonathan with his friends. Curious, He went inside the shed.
Everybody in the reunion then, heard a giant skrilling scream.
Mirror: What the hell’s a “skrilling scream”?
Dorkpool: Just go with it.
They all rushed to the shed. When the door opened everyone saw Jonathan with his black trenchcoat and a hood on, But as if he was older around the same age as everyone at the reunion, He was staring at the ground but he then looked up at everyone. He then said:
Mirror: (Johnathan): Coocoocachu, Colonel Sanders.
Nobody "remembered me..". He than vanished like particles of dust.
Dorkpool: (Bully): Well, that was weird. Anyway, who’s up for a trip to Mel’s Diner?
Everyone than saw The Corpse of the man who screamed with his face smashed, next to him was Jonathan's old SchoolBag.
Mirror: He had a school bag?
Dorkpool: Well, if not, the title makes no sense.
Mirror: The story doesn’t make sense!
Dorkpool: But the title makes sense, and that’s all that matters.
They then opened the bag and when they viewed the contents everyone was horrified, some vommited. Jonathan's mutilated rotted corpse was in the bag.
Dorkpool: That’s a pretty big bag.
END RIFF
Dorkpool: Well, we can definitely see why this was deleted.
Mirror: Yeah. Bad writing, nonsensical plot, the titular thing wasn’t introduced at the end, and wasn’t even mentioned before then, and one-dimensional characters.
Dorkpool: Well said, Mirror Me. So, what do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d be killed by Stephen King-esque bullies? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Dorkpool was trying to call someone when Mirror Dorkpool came in.
“What are you doing?” Mirror Dorkpool asked.
“Trying to talk to the alternate version of me on Blahcrap, or that one from 2099 who acted all badass.” Dorkpool answered.
“How’s that going?”
“Not very well. I haven’t been able to reach either of them.”
“Weird. Are they ok?”
“I hope so. I don’t want to think of the alternative.”
The traitor watched this exchange from the shadows, and grinned.
Everything was going to plan.
“Huh. Weird,” he said.
“What’s weird?” asked a voice behind him.
Dorkpool turned around to see Indometus standing behind him.
“How long have you been over there?” Dorkpool asked.
“Long enough to see you going over some security footage. And looking at a few naughty sites. I had no idea there was a fetish for-”
“Anyway,” Dorkpool interrupted. “what’s up?”
“Oh, not much. Wondering what you’re doing.”
“Going over some security footage…”
“Well, yeah, I knew that,” Indometus remarked.
“…to see if I can find anyone doing anything…traitor-like.”
“You believe that Slender Man knockoff?”
“Better to be safe than sorry.”
“Found anything?”
“Yes. Sometime around April 10, the security cameras went out. Not for long, but long enough. And around that time, a subspace pulse was sent. Someone sent something somewhere.”
“Do you know who?”
“If I did, they’d be kicked out the garbage chute. What time is it?”
Indometus checked. “About 10. Why?”
Dorkpool got up. “It’s time for a Riff.”
Dorkpool: You know, we here at Creepypasta Riffs rail on the Creepypasta Land Wiki. And I’d like to say that I’m not sorry. But I’d like to remind everyone that the Creepypasta Wiki isn’t exactly perfect either. And no, it’s not because I was basically told not to do Riffs on there. It’s because the Creepypasta Wiki has crap too. Like this story, “The School Bag.”
Mirror: -checks the Wiki- Ummm…that story’s been deleted from the Wiki.
Dorkpool: God damn it!
Mirror: We’re still Riffing this, right?
Dorkpool: Well, duh. Let’s go back to the 1950s, and Riff this bitch.
Back in the late 1950s there lived a boy named Jonathan.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): He was rather racist.
He had brown hair,he was short,and he always wore a black trenchcoat with a hood.
Mirror: Black trenchcoat? Are you sure we aren’t in the 90s?
He lived a normal life, but in school, he would always be bullied emotional and physical and they would say his trenchcoat is ugly and he wears it just to be cool.
Dorkpool: Well, yeah. Why else would you wear a trenchcoat?
One day, the bullies apologized to him and they became friends, or so he thought. A few weeks after The kids became friends, the bullies led Jonathan to a shed, The bullies called it the "hangout".
Mirror: (Narrator): Everyone else called it “a shed.”
Once the all the kids went in, the last one came in and locked the door.
The bullies then looked at Jonathan, and smiled. Jonathan whimpering, said things like, "What are you doing?!", "Stand back!" and "Get away from me!".
Dorkpool: Also, he said, “Aren’t bullies from the 1950s supposed to wear leather jackets?”
One of the bullies pulled Jonathan to the floor and the kids started to beat up Jonathan till he died.
Mirror: Story by Stephen King.
Years Later, during a reunion, one of the bullies noticed the shed where he killed Jonathan with his friends. Curious, He went inside the shed.
Everybody in the reunion then, heard a giant skrilling scream.
Mirror: What the hell’s a “skrilling scream”?
Dorkpool: Just go with it.
They all rushed to the shed. When the door opened everyone saw Jonathan with his black trenchcoat and a hood on, But as if he was older around the same age as everyone at the reunion, He was staring at the ground but he then looked up at everyone. He then said:
Mirror: (Johnathan): Coocoocachu, Colonel Sanders.
Nobody "remembered me..". He than vanished like particles of dust.
Dorkpool: (Bully): Well, that was weird. Anyway, who’s up for a trip to Mel’s Diner?
Everyone than saw The Corpse of the man who screamed with his face smashed, next to him was Jonathan's old SchoolBag.
Mirror: He had a school bag?
Dorkpool: Well, if not, the title makes no sense.
Mirror: The story doesn’t make sense!
Dorkpool: But the title makes sense, and that’s all that matters.
They then opened the bag and when they viewed the contents everyone was horrified, some vommited. Jonathan's mutilated rotted corpse was in the bag.
Dorkpool: That’s a pretty big bag.
END RIFF
Dorkpool: Well, we can definitely see why this was deleted.
Mirror: Yeah. Bad writing, nonsensical plot, the titular thing wasn’t introduced at the end, and wasn’t even mentioned before then, and one-dimensional characters.
Dorkpool: Well said, Mirror Me. So, what do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d be killed by Stephen King-esque bullies? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Dorkpool was trying to call someone when Mirror Dorkpool came in.
“What are you doing?” Mirror Dorkpool asked.
“Trying to talk to the alternate version of me on Blahcrap, or that one from 2099 who acted all badass.” Dorkpool answered.
“How’s that going?”
“Not very well. I haven’t been able to reach either of them.”
“Weird. Are they ok?”
“I hope so. I don’t want to think of the alternative.”
The traitor watched this exchange from the shadows, and grinned.
Everything was going to plan.