Dorkpool: You know, some things don’t need prequels or backstories.
Mirror: We’re all looking at you here, Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dorkpool: Hey, I kind of like Enterprise.
Mirror: Four words: “These Are the Voyages.”
Dorkpool: Eight words: “In A Mirror, Darkly parts one and two.”
Mirror: Touché.
Dorkpool: Anyway, I personally think that Slender Man is a character who really shouldn’t have an explanation attached to his existence. I think that it would just be disappointing. However, some people don’t think that, like the writer of today’s story, “Slenderman’s Backstory.” Is it a good one? Well, let’s start fires and Riff this bitch!
START RIFF
Once in the small town of Pripyat, Ukraine.
Dorkpool: Once, in a sentence fragment.
There was a small boy, an he was about 12(almost at his growth spirt) he was very pale, and had severe anorexia. because he didn't like going out during the day,
Mirror: (Narrator): …and instead stayed inside listening to Black Veil Brides and saying how much life sucks on Tumblr.
He only went out at night to play.
He didn't have any friends, the only people who liked him were kids younger than himself, but this meant very little at the time to him. He was distant from his parents, so he never talked to them.
As he was growing up he realized that he would be alone. He would walk through the woods at night. Eventually, after going into the woods so many times, he started to know the whole forest.
Dorkpool: You know, this is feeling less like Slender Man’s backstory, and more like a prequel to Ferngully.
When the day of his birthday arrived he got a suit from his parents, he went out at night with his "fancy" new suit to play in the woods. He decided he would build a fire since he is an adult now.
Mirror: (Man): Well, since I’m an adult now, I should probably learn how to become an arsonist.
He gathered the branches and twigs and put them into a pile, he got a match box out and lit one, he started the fire up, and before he knew it, he had to put out the fire to go home.
He went to school the next day in his "fancy" new suit, the kids made fun of him so much he cried. He ran home, and told his mom he is never going back to school, his mom said, " just because some people don't like you doesn't mean you can skip school!", his mom took him back to school, Still in the same clothes, when recess came along the other kids started up a group to beat him up.
Dorkpool: (Bully): That’s what you get for looking classy!
He got punched in the stomach so many times, he through up blood. When he eventual got his way out of the circle of people surrounding him. He ran, he ran till he couldn't run anymore.
Mirror: (singing): And he ran, he ran so far away.
Before he knew it he was in the forest.
A couple of days passed by. He hoped he wouldn't have to ever return.....
His wish became true...
He was getting a bundle of sticks together to create a fire, he started to feel funny. He looked around
Dorkpool: (Narrator): …and saw Shia LeBouf.
but... Nothing was there. He started to look back in the direction where his house used to be, he started to see a strange glow, seconds later followed by screaming. he recognized the screams, they were the screams of the other kids that beat him up. As he laughed he ran in the other direction. Thinking " they got what was coming to them". He stopped and looked back. the glow had caught up with him, he felt weird. Seconds later he started to feel something weird on his face, his face started to fuse to his skull, his eyes sunk into his skull, his lips melting together. He tried screaming, but nothing would come out.
Mirror: In bad writing, no one can hear you scream.
He couldn't hear a thing. He felt as if he was growing, he became an enormous stature in seconds. He felt many vertebrae snap as sharp, black tentacles shot out his spine. He continued to run aimlessly. He suddenly felt something touch his hand.... It was one of the younger children, the child wasn't afraid of his deformed body.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): That would change very soon.
The child stopped him, and grabbed his hand and walked him to the gate of the woods, he remembered the fence, he stopped and remembered his mom say,"you must never go passed the fence of the woods". The child tugged on his arm. He put his head in the other direction. He lifted up the child and put the child on the other side of the fence. The child ran off......
He vowed he would help all children like him.
Mirror: By kidnapping them.
Some children that wonder off into the woods might meet up with this social outcast and feel at home, they might get an awkward thought to call him" slender man".
Some children that aren't as the other children will hear something terrible whispered from the forest " you will get what is coming to you...."
All around the area of "his" forest, children go missing. And no one in the town will go into the forest. they won't admit that he exists.........
Dorkpool: -hums X-Files theme-
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story isn’t very good.
Mirror: The spelling and grammar are terrible, for one thing. Very little in this story is explained, surprisingly. Sure, we know why Slender Man has a suit and kidnaps kids, but how did he become faceless and gain tentacles? That wasn’t really explained outside of a weird feeling. Congratulations, story, you just stole from “Jeff the Killer.” Also, if young Slendy was an adult, and got a suit because of that, why is he going to school?
Dorkpool: There are good things though. The story’s short, which is nice. There’s so actual characterization, which is also nice. And there were some good ideas in the story. However, it’s still not very good. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d have weird feelings and turn into humanoid tentacle hentai? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Mirror: We’re all looking at you here, Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dorkpool: Hey, I kind of like Enterprise.
Mirror: Four words: “These Are the Voyages.”
Dorkpool: Eight words: “In A Mirror, Darkly parts one and two.”
Mirror: Touché.
Dorkpool: Anyway, I personally think that Slender Man is a character who really shouldn’t have an explanation attached to his existence. I think that it would just be disappointing. However, some people don’t think that, like the writer of today’s story, “Slenderman’s Backstory.” Is it a good one? Well, let’s start fires and Riff this bitch!
START RIFF
Once in the small town of Pripyat, Ukraine.
Dorkpool: Once, in a sentence fragment.
There was a small boy, an he was about 12(almost at his growth spirt) he was very pale, and had severe anorexia. because he didn't like going out during the day,
Mirror: (Narrator): …and instead stayed inside listening to Black Veil Brides and saying how much life sucks on Tumblr.
He only went out at night to play.
He didn't have any friends, the only people who liked him were kids younger than himself, but this meant very little at the time to him. He was distant from his parents, so he never talked to them.
As he was growing up he realized that he would be alone. He would walk through the woods at night. Eventually, after going into the woods so many times, he started to know the whole forest.
Dorkpool: You know, this is feeling less like Slender Man’s backstory, and more like a prequel to Ferngully.
When the day of his birthday arrived he got a suit from his parents, he went out at night with his "fancy" new suit to play in the woods. He decided he would build a fire since he is an adult now.
Mirror: (Man): Well, since I’m an adult now, I should probably learn how to become an arsonist.
He gathered the branches and twigs and put them into a pile, he got a match box out and lit one, he started the fire up, and before he knew it, he had to put out the fire to go home.
He went to school the next day in his "fancy" new suit, the kids made fun of him so much he cried. He ran home, and told his mom he is never going back to school, his mom said, " just because some people don't like you doesn't mean you can skip school!", his mom took him back to school, Still in the same clothes, when recess came along the other kids started up a group to beat him up.
Dorkpool: (Bully): That’s what you get for looking classy!
He got punched in the stomach so many times, he through up blood. When he eventual got his way out of the circle of people surrounding him. He ran, he ran till he couldn't run anymore.
Mirror: (singing): And he ran, he ran so far away.
Before he knew it he was in the forest.
A couple of days passed by. He hoped he wouldn't have to ever return.....
His wish became true...
He was getting a bundle of sticks together to create a fire, he started to feel funny. He looked around
Dorkpool: (Narrator): …and saw Shia LeBouf.
but... Nothing was there. He started to look back in the direction where his house used to be, he started to see a strange glow, seconds later followed by screaming. he recognized the screams, they were the screams of the other kids that beat him up. As he laughed he ran in the other direction. Thinking " they got what was coming to them". He stopped and looked back. the glow had caught up with him, he felt weird. Seconds later he started to feel something weird on his face, his face started to fuse to his skull, his eyes sunk into his skull, his lips melting together. He tried screaming, but nothing would come out.
Mirror: In bad writing, no one can hear you scream.
He couldn't hear a thing. He felt as if he was growing, he became an enormous stature in seconds. He felt many vertebrae snap as sharp, black tentacles shot out his spine. He continued to run aimlessly. He suddenly felt something touch his hand.... It was one of the younger children, the child wasn't afraid of his deformed body.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): That would change very soon.
The child stopped him, and grabbed his hand and walked him to the gate of the woods, he remembered the fence, he stopped and remembered his mom say,"you must never go passed the fence of the woods". The child tugged on his arm. He put his head in the other direction. He lifted up the child and put the child on the other side of the fence. The child ran off......
He vowed he would help all children like him.
Mirror: By kidnapping them.
Some children that wonder off into the woods might meet up with this social outcast and feel at home, they might get an awkward thought to call him" slender man".
Some children that aren't as the other children will hear something terrible whispered from the forest " you will get what is coming to you...."
All around the area of "his" forest, children go missing. And no one in the town will go into the forest. they won't admit that he exists.........
Dorkpool: -hums X-Files theme-
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story isn’t very good.
Mirror: The spelling and grammar are terrible, for one thing. Very little in this story is explained, surprisingly. Sure, we know why Slender Man has a suit and kidnaps kids, but how did he become faceless and gain tentacles? That wasn’t really explained outside of a weird feeling. Congratulations, story, you just stole from “Jeff the Killer.” Also, if young Slendy was an adult, and got a suit because of that, why is he going to school?
Dorkpool: There are good things though. The story’s short, which is nice. There’s so actual characterization, which is also nice. And there were some good ideas in the story. However, it’s still not very good. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d have weird feelings and turn into humanoid tentacle hentai? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.