Sylvia: Oh, fuck me.
Mirror: You’re not my type.
Sylvia: Fuck off.
Mirror: Well, that’s a bit rude.
Sylvia: I am rude.
Mirror: Good point. Anyway, let’s find notes in Latin and Riff this bitch.
"You'll never know what's out there...until you see it with your own eyes."
Mirror: Or Google it.
I remember those very words that my mother had told me, when I was a young girl.
Hi, my name's Karma Victoria Williams.
Sylvia: If there was ever a name that screamed out “super edgy OC,” this is it.
Yeah, I know it's a really weird name for a girl, but I’ll tell you some minor information about myself. I’m around the age of 18-19, I have fair skin, black hair, and the most odd thing about me is that... well, I have grey eyes just like a porcelain doll.
Mirror: Really? Just grey eyes? In terms of Jeff wannabes, that’s pretty boring. No robotic arms or carved smile? I’m…honestly a bit disappointed.
I've always believed in paranormal things such as, The Slenderman, Ghosts, etc. etc. But really, I do believe in The Slenderman, just for the record though.
Sylvia: (Karma): I also believe in unnecessarily capitalizing the “the” in “The Slenderman.”
Anyways, I've started doing my research on him last month, and let me tell you that weird things have been happening to me lately, and I don't even know why.
While I was walking home from school, I saw something... unusual... One note was on a tree, getting stranger it was written in Latin. As it read, "Quem populum qui hoc ... et dolores ejus, quia non revertetur ultra sanitatem istam in quindena lunae fuero plenus isset et splendens. Numquam enim hoc ipsum. si feceris, quod dictum est pati."
Sylvia: Translation: “Congratulations! You’re the 1,000,000th reader! You’ve just won a free Apple iPhone! Give us your name, email address, and soul, and we’ll send you your free Apple iPhone!”
I just shook it off thinking that it was one joke, to scare people who come across this note. Since I was learning Latin, I decided to take it home with me, ignoring the warning that the note had told me to do so.
When I came back home, I translated what the saying had said and it shocked me beyond belief. It said, "Whom who see this shall have pain and suffering... the people who have come across this shall know that their sanity will be forever gone in the fortnight when the moon is full and bright. Never take this note. If you do, you will suffer what has been said."
Mirror: This is why you don’t take home strange notes written in Latin.
A few months after that, I found out that my parents were gone, so they've left me some of the family fortune, an old leather bound book that looked like about a hundred years old, and a box set of throwing knives. I tried to ask myself that, Why the hell would my parents inherit me something like this? I ignored it, and hid the book and the knives underneath my bed.
Sylvia: (Karma): Right next to the stacks of Playgirl and Slender Man hentai.
The next day, my feeling of being watched had been getting worse and worse every day, I kept hearing voices had nightmares that prevented me to sleep, and I started to believe that I was starting to suffer. While I was in class the other day, the note that I’ve found a few months ago, was now on my desk. I was mortified. I quickly grabbed the note and threw it away. After that when I got home, a strange pain shot up throughout my body. I screamed in pain, and I knew that this was the second part for not listening to the warning.
Mirror: Maybe the note was angry at being thrown out.
After that all those pain and suffering, my only living relatives which were my Aunts and Uncles had sent me to a hospital to get me checked to see if I was alright. The doctor told them that I wasn't okay, they thought I was...I was.
Sylvia: You were…you were what? Happy? Sad? A leprechaun trapped inside of a bad Jeff wannabe’s body?
Crazy...that I was slowly losing my sanity.
But I tried to convince them that I was alright. They didn't know about the knives though...I just kept it as a secret.
Days and months had passed, and I had sudden urges to hurt people, to see their blood splattered all over the place, their entrails hanging from the walls and hearing their pleading for their own lives.
I was going insane... transforming into a killer...
Sylvia: Hey. –nudges Mirror-
Mirror: Huh? What? Oh, sorry, I’ve just read this stuff so much that I just got bored and fell asleep.
After that check-up, I went outside my house going on my midnight walks as usual, but this time I brought the throwing knives with me. I was wearing a black leather jacket, a dark purple top, some finger less gloves, purple top, grayish-blue pants with a black belt and some black combat boots that reached up just below my knees and had some silver buckles.
Sylvia: (Karma): Just so you fan artists on Deviantart know how to draw me.
I walked into an alley and I saw thuggish looking men. They were smiling evilly at me, and just as an instant they started walking towards me holding knives towards me. One of them held me from behind and the others started surrounding me. "Alright pretty girl, come with us and we'll have some great time with you. If you don't we'll beat up and kill you right here. Understand??"
Mirror: You can tell by his second question mark that he’s very curious about the answer.
The leader said to me, pressing his knife at my neck.
I spit in his face and said, "Never." This however, pissed him off and he punched me right in the face just smirked.
"Being a tough girl aren't ya??
Sylvia: (Karma): No, I just wanted you to know that I spit, not swallow. If we’re having a great time tonight, I figured you’d like to know.
We’ll just see about that!!"He then started beating me up. I just stood there, my smirk turned into a smile then slowly, a chuckle and then a laugh...not just any laugh, and it was deranged like an insane killer's laugh.
Mirror: Really, it was just a little, “teehee.”
At this point, my sanity snapped, completely. I looked up at them, my eyes showing malice and insanity. "What are you starring at girlie??" one of them had said.
"Oh nothing...just..."and without a second thought one of them was down on the ground, knife in his head. The remaining men stared at me, horrified. "She's insane!! Let’s go!!" They said, but I wasn't going to get them away that easily, I grabbed one of them and broke their neck and after that
I got out my throwing knives and killed them with ease.
Sylvia: (Karma): Using the amazing strength and combat skills that I, an 18-19 year old girl who has never taken any sort of self defense class, would know.
The boss was cowering in fear, his face pale as he watched me, killing off his comrades, one by one, ripping their hearts out, using their spines as knives as I stabbed one of them with it, slicing their throats wide open.
Mirror: I…I…no. Just…no. That’s not how the human body works.
It was a blood feast!!
After when I was done with them, I walked over to the last one, the boss who was cowering.
"Please!! Please!! D-don't kill me!! I'm innocent!! Please!! spare me!!" he begged and begged, but I just looked at him dead in the eye as I said with a deranged smile, "I'll make your life a living hell..." and I killed him,
Sylvia: Shortest living hell ever.
watching the life leave from his eyes. I then looked to the opposite side and saw four sixteen-year olds staring at me, horrified.
I just simply placed my finger to my blood stained lips and said, "Shhh...You never saw anything...”
Mirror: Somewhere, some penguins are planning to sue.
and all they saw after that is my Cold Grey Porcelain Eyes as I disappeared into the night laughing manically as I did so.
And i knew that this time, that this time will be my new beginning. A new life, as a profound vigilante killer known as Karma. Or maybe not...
This is my story, my story as a normal girl who became as a killer and became famous for my murders on infamous people across the globe.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have another hunt to do and this will be interesting....
Sylvia: She’s gonna kill Donald Trump, isn’t she?
Mirror: Maybe. Or maybe Kanye West.
Mirror: This story sucks.
Sylvia: It’s pretty much a normal Jeff Formula story. Actually, scratch that. It’s missing the whole “bullied teen” aspect. But we have the “I’m not normal aspect,” the eyes, the “going insane for vague reasons” aspect, and the “cartoonishly over the top murders” aspect. Also, we’ve got a poorly developed main character. Usually this isn’t a problem with Jeff Formula stories; the main characters are developed, they’re just irritating and whiny. Karma, though, is just…well, there’s really nothing to her. I have no idea what kind of person she is. Well, until the end. Then, she’s just a nutbar. And, by the way, her transition into insanity was very lazily done. She just said she was put in a psych ward, and was supposedly going insane, and now wants to do violent things. What great writing. Anyway, what kind of person was she beforehand? Damned if I know. Outside of character flaws, there are some questions I have. For example, why mention Slender Man? He wasn’t in this story, nor did he contribute to it. Well, maybe one can argue that he put the note on the tree, but even still he didn’t do much in the story if that was him. Now, if this ended with Karma becoming his proxy, fine. But that’s not how it ends. So, again, why mention Slender Man, outside of making it clear that this is supposed to be a Creepypasta story? Also, is it just me, or is Karma the only character that’s focused on? Her parents and relatives, who she’s lived with and must have some emotional connection to, are only briefly mentioned. Hell, the street thugs she dispatches have more time devoted to them, but only to show that they’re rapists, and that Karma kills them. There are more characters here, and fleshing them out a bit might’ve helped create a bit more of a world here, along with possibly indirectly developing Karma.
Mirror: There are a few good things. The idea of Karma being a vigilante is cool (even though it kind of comes out of nowhere; honestly, based on what we know of her, making her a serial killer would’ve made more sense), and, in terms of spelling and grammar it isn’t that bad. Plus, the ending with the cartoonishly over the top murder is, in a weird way, kind of funny. So, that’s a plus. But all in all, the story sucks. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d attend a blood feast? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.