Mirror: It still is though.
Dorkpool: Oh, yeah, undeniably so. But I think we need new ways to say that.
Mirror: Hey, I got one: “The Creepypasta Land Wiki is filled with more crap the M. Night Shamaylan’s resume.”
Dorkpool: Good one. What about this: “The Creepypasta Land Wiki is the toilet of literature.”
Mirror: Not bad, but not as good as, “The Creepypasta Land Wiki is the place where good spelling, good grammar, and good writing go to die.”
Dorkpool: Ha ha ha…we’re going to get so much shit for this.
Mirror: Probably. Still fun though.
Dorkpool: Yeah. Anyway, let’s completely ignore the legal and justice systems, and Riff this bitch!
In the woods one dark Christmas Eve, two guys named Anthony and, well, the other one didn't have a name since he was adopted and was never thought of a name.
Dorkpool: Yep, adopted people have no names. Naturally.
Anthony calls him Plankton.
Mirror: (Narrator): Anthony sucks at naming things.
Anthony (17 years old) and Plankton (18 years old) went missing after going into a man's house, named Robert. Robert was 54 and had a brother, Bob. He worked at the police station, and Robert killed humans.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): But not aliens though.
Anthony and Plankton were screwing around the woods near Anthony's house, when they saw a huge 42 floor tall house.
Mirror: (Narrator): This offended Plankton, who decided to start a forest fire to destroy the house.
Robert was in his rocking chair, shotgun right behind him. Anthony and Plankton walked inside and greeted Robert, curiously. Anthony and Plankton walk in the house,
Dorkpool: Aaaaand they’re dead.
not a lot of lights, but a small Elf on the Shelf. They went up to the next floor, all they saw was blood and organs.
Mirror: (Narrator): They also saw skin and pianos.
They saw the Elf on the Shelf, still there on the first floor. This happened every floor, but one floor had blood only, spelling out the words, Save Me, Save Me, and Save Us. "Us? Who is us?" Anthony said.
Dorkpool: (Plankton): We is us!
Once they got up to the last floor, They were tired and asked Robert if he had anything to munch on or drink. Robert offered them a drink, but not an ordinary one.
Mirror: (Narrator): Klingon bloodwine.
The drink was a normal Coke bottle, but with some sort of poison or sleeping pill inside it.
Dorkpool: The word you’re looking for is “roofie.”
Robert handed the two their drinks, and after about 14 minutes, they fell asleep and Robert was ready to strike. Robert tied up Anthony and Plankton in
Mirror: So Robert is into bondage?
Dorkpool: Robert is really Christian Grey.
a chair and got some weapons from his secret basement. He got a shotgun, a Tommy Gun and a knife. He filled the guns with a lot of ammo. About 3 minutes later, he woke Anthony and Plankton up. Plankton immediately asks "What the f**k is going on?"
Dorkpool: No one really knows, to be honest.
Mirror: I’m curious about why he speaks with asterisks.
Robert doesn't reply. He pulls out his knife and stabs Plankton in the chest twice. Anthony's face is frozen in fear. Robert turns to Anthony and shoots Anthony once, but misses the second time.
Mirror: So he misses a guy who is not only tied up, but is probably pretty close to him? Robert’s a really crappy shot.
Anthony manages to get the gun from Robert and shoots Robert's forehead, near the brain.
Dorkpool: Discount lobotomy!
Anthony reaches for the knife and cuts the ropes that him and Plankton were strapped to. Plankton is injured, but can still walk. The stabs were very little, about 1 centimeter the least. Anthony finds a match and burns down the house.
Mirror: Smokey the Bear is displeased by this.
Robert burns to death as the fire manages to reach the top floor. Anthony and Plankton run back to the house as Robert's house burns down quicker.
Two weeks later, Robert's body was found. Not only was his body found, but 3,586 body's in his basement closet, Two of them being Plankton's parents.
Dorkpool: I…I just…there are no words to express how stupid that last sentence is.
Another week later passed, and Anthony and Plankton were found guilty of murder. They were found guilty the entire court session, and both of them were sentenced to jail.
Mirror: Once again, the law and justice system are ignored in a Creepypasta. When will the madness end?
After a month they got their interrogation. Well, do you remember Bob, Robert's brother?
Bob was a murdering psycho too, but worked at the police station to kill people at interrogation. Bob shut the door and got out a knife and said "You killed Robert. Now you will see what pain it feels to be dead."
Dorkpool: If you’re dead, you’re not really in a lot of pain. Just saying.
Anthony and Plankton were sort of confused until he got the knife out. Anthony and Plankton said "Save Me, Save Me. SAVE US!", Thinking that somebody could hear them. Plankton died first, and Bob took out his organs right in front of Anthony, and cooking the organs to "eat", according to Bob.
Mirror: So having a grill in an interrogation room is standard in interrogations?
Dorkpool: I’m still wondering why no one has noticed that when Bob interrogates people, they end up dead.
After Plankton's guts are cooked, Bob puts them on a small plate and kills Anthony. Blood is all over the windows and on the security camera.
Mirror: Oh, so this a sequel to “TEH DAY OF ALL TEH BLOOD”.
Bob cooks Anthony's guts and eats both of their guts.
Four days later, the police told their parents that they were cut open and their guts used for food. The parents, crying deeply. They decide to adopt more children.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): And since they were adopted, they weren’t named.
On February 17th, the Connecticut High School was made in honer of 6 children now.
Mirror: Well, of course.
Those kids all died from, Robert or Bob. Bob was then sentenced to death after the security footage was found. Anthony and Plankton may rest in peace peacefully, forever.
Mirror: But death isn’t supposed to hurt.
Dorkpool: Well, it does if you’re Zorax, but that’s different.
- Connecticut Daily News
Dorkpool: This news report is still more logical than most of what FOX News says.
Dorkpool: As I’m wont to say after a Riff, this story sucks.
Mirror: The grammar is awkward, the plot is nonsensical and stupid, and the characters are undeveloped. It’s pretty par for the course for Creepypasta Land Wiki stories at this point.
Dorkpool: However, there are some good things. It’s not very long, so we don’t have to suffer through it for very long; the spelling is pretty good for the most part; and it’s not offensive, unlike “Tix.” Still sucks though.
Mirror: Well, yeah.
Dorkpool: But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Are you looking forward to another arc? Do you wish we’d be eaten by a guy named Bob? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.