Dorkpool: I have two nouns that will say all that needs to be said about this story: Creepypasta Land Wiki and Jeff the Killer.
Mirror: Well just kill me now.
Dorkpool: Nah. Let’s just hot wire a motorcycle and Riff this bitch!
START RIFF
Pete Willows and his family decided to move to a new house, a cabin the woods.
Dorkpool: Well, at least it’s not a cabin in the woods, so he’s safe.
They had to leave the city due to a stalker who previously kidnapped Pete had just busted out of jail. Pete, obviously not wanting any risks, moves with his family far away from where the stalker could find him.
Mirror: You know, most people move because they got a new job, or want to start a new life. Not Pete though! Nope, he moves because of a psychotic stalker.
Jeff had been killing for 7 years now, and he has been quite proud of himself for all the lives and souls he "freed". He saw Pete's car drive into the woods. Wanting another murder, Jeff hot wires a motorcycle and follows them to the cabin.
Dorkpool: Yes, because Jeff the Killer can totally do that.
Pete and his family had just finished packing. Pete decided since they had been driving all day long, that they should go to bed earlier that night, as it was summer vacation and they have all summer to stay up late.
Mirror: (Narrator): And watch porn.
Jeff stopped the motorcycle and climbed through the trees to get to the house, so that Pete and his family wouldn't see him driving to their house with weapons.
Pete and his wife Veronica kissed and went to sleep.
Dorkpool: Apparently Pete married the Hulkbuster armor.
10 minutes later, Pete wakes up to the window opening. Pete and Veronica look inside and outside to check if anyone had broken in, but they could not find anyone. They go back to sleep but wake up shortly to see Jeff in front of them.
Mirror: (Jeff): Hi, do you have a minute to talk about Our Lord and Savior Zalgo?
"Shh... GO TO SLEEP"
With that, Pete and Veronica had lost it. Jeff stabs Veronica in her side and she falls down. Pete charged at Jeff but Jeff kicked him in the face and knocked him out the window, knocking him out. Jeff had went towards the children, thinking Pete was dead.
Dorkpool: Jeff the Killer: Smart enough to hot wire a motorcycle, but not smart enough to check whether or not his victims are still alive.
Meanwhile, Pete woke up. He looked back inside his room to find Veronica dead and see Jeff run for the children. Pete knew that he couldn't take Jeff and that by the time he would of reached his kids, they would have already of been dead. So Pete hid in his tool shed and waited.
Mirror: What a great father.
Jeff had just finished off Pete's kids and family, and started to leave.
Pete peaked out of the tool shed and took a picture of Jeff, so he could find him later. Jeff drove off and left.
Dorkpool: (Jeff): Well, off to ruin more stories!
Pete had decided to check on his kids, just to see if they were somehow alive. He went to their room and saw them tied to chairs and bleached. Their skin was a ghostly pale white, and a smile was carved into both of their faces as well as their eyelids burned off.
Mirror: Any similarities to the Joker are purely coincidental.
After this, Pete had snapped. He grabbed his keys and followed Jeff in his family sedan that he will never have another family in.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Except the secret family his has that his other one didn’t know about.
"Jeff I am coming for you".
PART 1 END
(Yeah, this story is divided into two parts. Since these stories aren’t very long, we decided to combine them into one story.)
PART 2 BEGIN
One month later, Pete had finally found where Jeff was.
Dorkpool: Oh, this moron can find where Jeff is, but you and Indo can’t?
Mirror: Hey, we’re trying.
He had gone insane. Jeff roamed the streets killing everyone he could. They both were driven to insanity and both's minds are completely broken.
Mirror: (Narrator): And they couldn’t exchange them for a money back guarantee.
Jeff had just finished his latest work by killing a family of seven. Jeff escaped to the storage building across the street. Jeff made a bed and went to sleep, which used to be hard, but now he can sleep with his eyes open.
Dorkpool: Well, duh. Having no eyelids does that to a guy.
Meanwhile Pete had just finished his latest search for Jeff. He went on to his final battle with Jeff, in a storage facility.
Jeff was sleeping when he woke up after a dream of his old life.
Mirror: (Narrator): It was a dream filled with bad writing, neglectful parents, and stupidity.
He heard movements. He saw Pete in the back of the room. Jeff grabbed his knife and charged at Pete. Pete blocked the knife with his knife. Jeff stabbed at him but Pete blocked and Pete swung at him but missed. Jeff stepped on Pete's toe and hit him in the face with the back with the knife.
Dorkpool: Toe no!
Mirror: -smacks Dorkpool-
Pete kicks Jeff back. Jeff grabs his knife and jams it at Pete who dodges it and jabs his knife at Jeff but Jeff blocks it with his knife.
Jeff was getting stressed that he couldn't instantly kill him like everyone else,
Mirror: (Narrator): …since cheats were off.
while Pete was not as he had nothing left to lose, he was going to kill himself once he killed Jeff anyways. Jeff charges at Pete but Pete trips him and throws him against the wall. Pete kicked Jeff and tackled him. Jeff quickly rolled Pete off him and charged at Pete. Pete jumped and kicked Jeff in the face.
Dorkpool: Pete Willows: Loving father, and Kung-Fu master.
Pete runs and Jeff but Jeff kicks him. Pete charges at Jeff and Jeff climbs up towards the top of the huge roll of boxes. Pete climbed up too.
Jeff grabbed his knife and tried gutting Pete but he blocks it. Jeff kicks Pete back and Pete falls off the boxes. Jeff ran across the boxes and looks up and sees Max climbing on the ceiling.
Both: Who the hell is Max?
Pete drops down and punches Jeff. Pete punches again but Jeff catches his fist and throws him onto another box. Jeff jumps onto the other box and they break it and fall into a box filled with baseball tools.
Mirror: You know, it’s a shame we can’t do a crossover with CinenaSins. They’d have a field day with this story.
Jeff picks up a bat and Pete picks up a bat and they swing at each other, each missing. Pete climbs out off the box and Jeff follows. They clash bats a few times until Jeff takes out his knife and breaks Pete's bat in half. Pete cuts Jeff's bat with his hook and Jeff slams his head into Pete's and tackles him and they landed on another box. Pete knocks Jeff into the box, which is filled with explosives.
Dorkpool: I honestly want to know who was storing this stuff.
Pete holds his knife to Jeff's neck. Jeff struggles to grab a grenade. Jeff kicks Pete into the box and lights a grenade and escapes the box, says "go to sleep", and runs away as the box explodes. Pete is still alive but is crushed to death by the storage facility.
Mirror: Truly, this was no big loss.
Jeff hardly escapes and is knocked out of the storage facility and he is knocked out. One week later, Jeff wakes up in the hospital with a doctor who tells him he's been out for a week.
One doctor looks at the patients history and realizes he is wanted.
Mirror: Because the doctor couldn’t have looked at Jeff’s patient history a week earlier, or recognize the guy who looks like a Joker cosplayer.
The doctor slowly backs up to the door. Jeff grabs a pair of scissors and slits the doctor's throat and then injects him with random medicine.
Dorkpool: No! Not Matt Smith! Or David Tennant!
Jeff puts on the doctors outfit and hijacks an ambulance and drives off into the night.
Mirror: Jeff will return in "Jane the Killer VS. Jeff the Killer: The 15th Final Battle."
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story sucks.
Mirror: It didn’t really need to be divided into two parts (hence why it was combined here). The spelling and grammar aren’t very good, and led to some head-scratching moments ("Pete is still alive but is crushed to death by the storage facility"). There’s very little characterization, and because of that I care little about the characters. (Of course, I don’t care much about Jeff anyway, so…) The plot is pretty cliché, and it could’ve actually been good. Also, there are times when it feels like this story is a sequel of sorts to something, like in the discussion of why Pete moved, or the mention of Max. (Seriously, who in the seven hells is Max?) However, the author didn’t write any prequel of sorts to this, so that makes the Max thing even more nonsensical.
Dorkpool: There are, of course, good things, since nothing is completely awful. The idea behind this story is actually pretty good: a guy whose family is killed by Jeff decides to go out for revenge. This could’ve made for a good story. However, this story is not good. It’s short though; both parts are, in fact. Also, there is some uniqueness here: the reason why Pete moved is interesting and unique, and Pete is unique for not being a total moron. Still though, this story sucks. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish Jeff the Killer would murder our families? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Mirror: Well just kill me now.
Dorkpool: Nah. Let’s just hot wire a motorcycle and Riff this bitch!
START RIFF
Pete Willows and his family decided to move to a new house, a cabin the woods.
Dorkpool: Well, at least it’s not a cabin in the woods, so he’s safe.
They had to leave the city due to a stalker who previously kidnapped Pete had just busted out of jail. Pete, obviously not wanting any risks, moves with his family far away from where the stalker could find him.
Mirror: You know, most people move because they got a new job, or want to start a new life. Not Pete though! Nope, he moves because of a psychotic stalker.
Jeff had been killing for 7 years now, and he has been quite proud of himself for all the lives and souls he "freed". He saw Pete's car drive into the woods. Wanting another murder, Jeff hot wires a motorcycle and follows them to the cabin.
Dorkpool: Yes, because Jeff the Killer can totally do that.
Pete and his family had just finished packing. Pete decided since they had been driving all day long, that they should go to bed earlier that night, as it was summer vacation and they have all summer to stay up late.
Mirror: (Narrator): And watch porn.
Jeff stopped the motorcycle and climbed through the trees to get to the house, so that Pete and his family wouldn't see him driving to their house with weapons.
Pete and his wife Veronica kissed and went to sleep.
Dorkpool: Apparently Pete married the Hulkbuster armor.
10 minutes later, Pete wakes up to the window opening. Pete and Veronica look inside and outside to check if anyone had broken in, but they could not find anyone. They go back to sleep but wake up shortly to see Jeff in front of them.
Mirror: (Jeff): Hi, do you have a minute to talk about Our Lord and Savior Zalgo?
"Shh... GO TO SLEEP"
With that, Pete and Veronica had lost it. Jeff stabs Veronica in her side and she falls down. Pete charged at Jeff but Jeff kicked him in the face and knocked him out the window, knocking him out. Jeff had went towards the children, thinking Pete was dead.
Dorkpool: Jeff the Killer: Smart enough to hot wire a motorcycle, but not smart enough to check whether or not his victims are still alive.
Meanwhile, Pete woke up. He looked back inside his room to find Veronica dead and see Jeff run for the children. Pete knew that he couldn't take Jeff and that by the time he would of reached his kids, they would have already of been dead. So Pete hid in his tool shed and waited.
Mirror: What a great father.
Jeff had just finished off Pete's kids and family, and started to leave.
Pete peaked out of the tool shed and took a picture of Jeff, so he could find him later. Jeff drove off and left.
Dorkpool: (Jeff): Well, off to ruin more stories!
Pete had decided to check on his kids, just to see if they were somehow alive. He went to their room and saw them tied to chairs and bleached. Their skin was a ghostly pale white, and a smile was carved into both of their faces as well as their eyelids burned off.
Mirror: Any similarities to the Joker are purely coincidental.
After this, Pete had snapped. He grabbed his keys and followed Jeff in his family sedan that he will never have another family in.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Except the secret family his has that his other one didn’t know about.
"Jeff I am coming for you".
PART 1 END
(Yeah, this story is divided into two parts. Since these stories aren’t very long, we decided to combine them into one story.)
PART 2 BEGIN
One month later, Pete had finally found where Jeff was.
Dorkpool: Oh, this moron can find where Jeff is, but you and Indo can’t?
Mirror: Hey, we’re trying.
He had gone insane. Jeff roamed the streets killing everyone he could. They both were driven to insanity and both's minds are completely broken.
Mirror: (Narrator): And they couldn’t exchange them for a money back guarantee.
Jeff had just finished his latest work by killing a family of seven. Jeff escaped to the storage building across the street. Jeff made a bed and went to sleep, which used to be hard, but now he can sleep with his eyes open.
Dorkpool: Well, duh. Having no eyelids does that to a guy.
Meanwhile Pete had just finished his latest search for Jeff. He went on to his final battle with Jeff, in a storage facility.
Jeff was sleeping when he woke up after a dream of his old life.
Mirror: (Narrator): It was a dream filled with bad writing, neglectful parents, and stupidity.
He heard movements. He saw Pete in the back of the room. Jeff grabbed his knife and charged at Pete. Pete blocked the knife with his knife. Jeff stabbed at him but Pete blocked and Pete swung at him but missed. Jeff stepped on Pete's toe and hit him in the face with the back with the knife.
Dorkpool: Toe no!
Mirror: -smacks Dorkpool-
Pete kicks Jeff back. Jeff grabs his knife and jams it at Pete who dodges it and jabs his knife at Jeff but Jeff blocks it with his knife.
Jeff was getting stressed that he couldn't instantly kill him like everyone else,
Mirror: (Narrator): …since cheats were off.
while Pete was not as he had nothing left to lose, he was going to kill himself once he killed Jeff anyways. Jeff charges at Pete but Pete trips him and throws him against the wall. Pete kicked Jeff and tackled him. Jeff quickly rolled Pete off him and charged at Pete. Pete jumped and kicked Jeff in the face.
Dorkpool: Pete Willows: Loving father, and Kung-Fu master.
Pete runs and Jeff but Jeff kicks him. Pete charges at Jeff and Jeff climbs up towards the top of the huge roll of boxes. Pete climbed up too.
Jeff grabbed his knife and tried gutting Pete but he blocks it. Jeff kicks Pete back and Pete falls off the boxes. Jeff ran across the boxes and looks up and sees Max climbing on the ceiling.
Both: Who the hell is Max?
Pete drops down and punches Jeff. Pete punches again but Jeff catches his fist and throws him onto another box. Jeff jumps onto the other box and they break it and fall into a box filled with baseball tools.
Mirror: You know, it’s a shame we can’t do a crossover with CinenaSins. They’d have a field day with this story.
Jeff picks up a bat and Pete picks up a bat and they swing at each other, each missing. Pete climbs out off the box and Jeff follows. They clash bats a few times until Jeff takes out his knife and breaks Pete's bat in half. Pete cuts Jeff's bat with his hook and Jeff slams his head into Pete's and tackles him and they landed on another box. Pete knocks Jeff into the box, which is filled with explosives.
Dorkpool: I honestly want to know who was storing this stuff.
Pete holds his knife to Jeff's neck. Jeff struggles to grab a grenade. Jeff kicks Pete into the box and lights a grenade and escapes the box, says "go to sleep", and runs away as the box explodes. Pete is still alive but is crushed to death by the storage facility.
Mirror: Truly, this was no big loss.
Jeff hardly escapes and is knocked out of the storage facility and he is knocked out. One week later, Jeff wakes up in the hospital with a doctor who tells him he's been out for a week.
One doctor looks at the patients history and realizes he is wanted.
Mirror: Because the doctor couldn’t have looked at Jeff’s patient history a week earlier, or recognize the guy who looks like a Joker cosplayer.
The doctor slowly backs up to the door. Jeff grabs a pair of scissors and slits the doctor's throat and then injects him with random medicine.
Dorkpool: No! Not Matt Smith! Or David Tennant!
Jeff puts on the doctors outfit and hijacks an ambulance and drives off into the night.
Mirror: Jeff will return in "Jane the Killer VS. Jeff the Killer: The 15th Final Battle."
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story sucks.
Mirror: It didn’t really need to be divided into two parts (hence why it was combined here). The spelling and grammar aren’t very good, and led to some head-scratching moments ("Pete is still alive but is crushed to death by the storage facility"). There’s very little characterization, and because of that I care little about the characters. (Of course, I don’t care much about Jeff anyway, so…) The plot is pretty cliché, and it could’ve actually been good. Also, there are times when it feels like this story is a sequel of sorts to something, like in the discussion of why Pete moved, or the mention of Max. (Seriously, who in the seven hells is Max?) However, the author didn’t write any prequel of sorts to this, so that makes the Max thing even more nonsensical.
Dorkpool: There are, of course, good things, since nothing is completely awful. The idea behind this story is actually pretty good: a guy whose family is killed by Jeff decides to go out for revenge. This could’ve made for a good story. However, this story is not good. It’s short though; both parts are, in fact. Also, there is some uniqueness here: the reason why Pete moved is interesting and unique, and Pete is unique for not being a total moron. Still though, this story sucks. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish Jeff the Killer would murder our families? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.