Mirror: Yeah, I think you’re right.
Dorkpool: Well, I guess it’s fitting that the first one we’re going to Riff is called “My First Pokemon.”
Mirror: It really is, actually.
Dorkpool: Well, let’s play a game and Riff this bitch.
I was a big fan of Pokémon.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Then I grew out of it for a while, until childhood nostalgia kicked in and caused me to like it again.
My friends and I would play Pokémon for 5 hours. My brother and I were looking for games for our Gameboy Color. My brother and I found a copy of Pokémon Silver.
We went to the cashier and paid for the game. There was a problem with the game, so the game was free.
Mirror: (Narrator): I didn’t find this suspicious at all.
We went outside, slipped the cartridge into the game slot, then turned it on and started the game up. At first there were nothing but a textbox that said “ Are you happy it's your first time playing Pokémon Silver? ".
I pressed "B", and when the textbox disapeared, the game was already in the part where you give your character a name. I put my name and started.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): As I started, I laughed to myself, thinking about stupid names I’ve heard. Like Liu. Or Rust. Seriously, who would name their kid that?
When the screen came up where you are inside of your house, my brother and I had the character go outside. Oddly enough, when we did so, it was nightime
. Then my brother and I went to the professor when we had to go get our first Pokémon. There were only one Pokémon that we could have.
It was a Pokémon that had no name on it. The Pokémon was black and red.
Mirror: So was the Pokemon Carnage? Superior Spider-Man? Ruby Rose? A Nazi flag? A Next Generation command officer? An Original Series security/engineer? Dorkpool? Me?
My brother and I just took it and went out of town.
The first Pokémon that we battled was also a Pokémon with no name and we couldn't get the Pokémon for some reason.
The sceen went black and after that it showed a picture of a ghost. And a bloody Pokemon.
The game went crazy and it almost crashed my game.
Dorkpool: MissingNo’s evolved it seems.
When the screen came back, we were in a hallway in the game. Our character walked forever but the hallway seemed to go on for forever.
Then, we saw dead Pokemon hanging from the ceiling of the hallway.
Then I saw pictures of my drawings, but more creepy. Then I saw my family pictures. I went to my dad's picture.
Mirror: (Narrator): It was then that I found out that my dad used to be a porn star. –shudders-
I pressed "A" and a textbox appeared. It said " You WiLL KilL OnE oF YoU FaMiLy MeMBeRs! "
Dorkpool: Why is Doomsayer in this story? Isn’t he dead?
Me and my brother fell very sick. Me and my brother continue to play the game. There was door that had a note on it. I readed and it said " NeVEr knew ThAt EvIL cAn geEt to ReAl LiFE? "
Dorkpool: -gets up- DOOMSAYER, YOU SON OF A BITCH! I KNOW YOU’RE HERE! I’LL –
Mirror: -pulls Dorkpool down- Stop. It’s just the story.
Dorkpool: Oh. Pfft. I knew that.
I went into the room. There were chairs, lots of chair. I pressed B on the chairs and every chair said " You will regret the days "
Mirror: Those days: Monday, Wednesday, Sunday.
I went up on the D-Pad, and then a trainer appears. I talked to him and he said " Heres a battle, if you lose i will take your soul away. If you won i will not kill you"
Dorkpool: (Narrator): And NONE of this seems suspicious AT ALL. TOTALLY normal.
The Battle starts.
... Wants to battle! ... Sents out Dead Mewtwo! Pikia i Chose you!
Dead Mewtwo uses death!
The Battle ends.
Then a textbox appeared " You chould have done Something.............. "
Mirror: (Textbox): …but you kind of suck at life.
My brother and I turned off the game and went to our house. When we got home, we saw our dad dead.
Then I saw a ghost Pokemon. My brother and I started crying. We called the Police, but then we saw a Ghost Pokemon behind us.
Dorkpool: (Ghost Pokemon): I smell a snitch.
My brother tried to kill it but then my brother got murdered by it. Then the Ghost went to my room and got a knife.
Mirror: Why? It had no difficulty killing your brother without a knife. Why does it need a knife now?
Dorkpool: Don’t question it. We’re almost done.
And then it killed me. Once the Police came to my house, the only thing they saw was the copy of Pokemon Silver.
I am still haunting the house to this day...
I try to warn those who come to live in this cursed house, but all eventually will be conquered by the silver cartridge. I found a laptop and started to type up this story....
Dorkpool: This story sucks, but it’s kind of fun.
Mirror: The plot is cliché, the spelling and grammar is flawed, and there’s absolutely no characterization. And the ending is pretty stupid. Like, why would a ghost decide to write down their story? Not only that, but how is a ghost corporeal enough to do so?
Dorkpool: There are good things though. The story’s short, which is nice. And despite – or perhaps because of – all the stupid, it’s kind of an enjoyable read. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we were ghosts? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.