Mirror: Well yeah. The Creepypasta Land Wiki. Duh.
Dorkpool: That’s not what I meant, actually.
Mirror: But it’s still true.
Dorkpool: Yes, but the Bad Creepypasta Wiki recognizes that their stories suck. The Creepypasta Land Wiki seems to live in that same delusional world as the writer of “Sonic.exe,” in which their stories are good, and that the Creepypasta Wiki is rude and mean because they banned those stories.
Dorkpool: Yep. Anyway, the story we’re Riffing today, “LIARS,” is from there.
Mirror: Oh, joy.
Dorkpool: Yep. So, let’s burn people with formic acid and Riff this bitch!
There was once a guy living in our neighborhood named Jimmy, he got picked on a lot for being a confident and funny guy, his mouth tended to get him into a lot of trouble and he seldom learned his lesson.
Dorkpool: (Bully): Let’s pick on this guy!
Mirror: (Other Bully): Why? Does he have some sort of flaw that can easily be picked on?
Dorkpool: (Bully): He’s confident and funny!
Mirror: (Other Bully): …you’re not very good at the whole bullying thing, are you?
He was just very content with who he was and refused to change it. When people asked him why he let them wail on him for his blunt comedy and wisecracks, he'd smirk and say, "Honesty is the best policy, at least they're not hiding anything from me and neither am I from them."
Mirror: (Person): Is that why you’re naked?
Dorkpool: (Jimmy): Yes, yes it is.
One of the kids he inadvertently pissed off with a rather crude MILF joke was something of a psychopath with a sadistic streak who didn't take kindly to the insult. So he rounded up the other guys who didn't like Jimmy and they cornered him after school in the science room.
Dorkpool: (Bully): Are you ready to feel the vengeful powers of science?
"Your mouth got you into this... I want you to remember that." Brett, the ringleader, told him as he looked into Jimmy's terrified eyes.
They grabbed some formic acid stored in the lab and threw it in his face. They stood around watched him scream in agony as it ate through his flesh before sniggering and running out, pretending to be concerned and wanting help for him.
When the paramedics arrived and were attending to Jimmy (who was no longer able to scream),
Mirror: In bad writing, no one can hear you scream.
the principal asked the boys if they knew what had happened. Their leader Brett explained they were walking past when they saw Jimmy skulking around the lab room, by the time they got in there, he was already in that state. The other members joined in and backed Brett up with other fake details as Jimmy tried to protest in silent agony.
Dorkpool: Because he can’t write or anything.
The principal nodded and told them he would speak to them after he had a word with Jimmy and got his side of the story after he was out of hospital.
A few days passed and Jimmy was kept in ICU with bandages on his face, the doctors salvaging what little they could of his face, his vision still intact in one eye and his jaw withstanding despite the loss of flesh. He was still unable to speak and refused to respond to anyone. He just sat there, eyes unblinking & staring at the ceiling, bloodshot and filled with animosity. When he was discharged sometime later, he would not respond to anyone with anything other than the word "LIARS."
Mirror: (Person): Hey, Johnny, do you want something to eat?
Dorkpool: (Johnny): LIARS.
His social life gone, unable to smile or even crack a joke anymore, he secluded himself in his room and began planning. Sick vindictive thoughts started appearing in his mind, he would get them all one by one, decimate them, slice them, burn them.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Roast them for 10 minutes at 120 degrees.
He waited patiently until the group would be vulnerable, late at night when they said their goodbyes and went home separately. That's when he would strike.
That weekend, Brett received a package in the mail. Curiously, he opened it to find a VHS tape with the words "For You" etched crudely onto the front.
Mirror: (Brett): You! You got something in the mail!
Dorkpool: (You): Oh, boy!
He put it in and played it.
It was a crudely recorded home video by an unknown camera man who didn't speak at all for the duration of the film. It began with the camera pointing at the date on a newspaper, it was yesterday. As he zoomed out, you could see it was in a basement, a single flickering lightbulb hanging above and casting an uncomfortable scene. By the time he'd completely zoomed out, it was apparent this was no normal video.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): It was in HD!
In front of the cameraman & on his hands knees was one of Brett's friends. He was naked, a dirty blindfold around his face and a crude gag in his mouth. He was covered in blood, horrific burns, lacerations and wounds. One particularly large one on his back stood out that almost looked like a word....
Mirror: (Word): Redrum.
The cameraman, with gloved hands, took the gag out of the crying boy's mouth and immediately he begged to go home.
"Please, PLEASE let me go man....I...I did what you wanted! Oh god...Jesse, Mike, Keith....
Dorkpool: After “Jeff the Killer,” I guess Keith responded to wanted ads for stories seeking bullies.
you made me fucking butcher them! I just wanna go home man....Please....I'm sorry guys....I'm so...so sorry...."
He just kept repeating it over and over, rocking back and forth as he did so.
Brett's legs began to shake and he felt the bile rise in his stomach, he could see the burned, mangled bodies in the background. The bodies of his friends. All of them had markings on their body in deep, large cuts.
The cameraman reached out for the boy's chin and lifted it up, encouraging him to stand. He did so obediently as he was slowly led to a door off screen, whimpering. Brett could see what had been cut into his friend's back now.
Mirror: (Narrator): It was dickbutt.
It was the word "LIAR". The camera cut out temporarily.
When it restarted again, they were no longer inside. They were instead out in the cold snow on the outskirts of the woods and it didn't appear to be the original man holding the camera anymore. It was Brett's friend. He was whimpering and shivering as he held the camera in one place for 30 seconds, pointing at some trees in the distance, hearing footsteps draw ever nearer.
"WHERE ARE YOU MAN? YOU SAID I COULD GO MAN! YOU SAID I COULD GO!"
Dorkpool: (Person Following Brett's Friend): What are you talking about? I asked if you could go down low. We were doing the Cha Cha Slide.
The boy was screaming and crying, frightened out of his mind as the sound of crunching snow drew nearer from seemingly every angle.
Mirror: (Narrator): It was Hammer Time.
He turned around to see the mangled face of Jimmy; a horrifying howl blared through the speakers and the word "LIARS" appeared before the tape abruptly stopped.
Brett felt faint and darted to lock the front door, knowing what was coming.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): A surprise birthday party.
As he turned to run for it, he immediately hit something and fell backwards.
The last thing he ever heard was "LIARS" as acid ran down his face and began to slowly eat away at his flesh.
The last thing he ever saw was Jimmy's face, contorting into a sick, twisted smile.
Mirror: (Narrator): The last thing he ever tasted was a sandwich from Arby’s.
Dorkpool: This story actually doesn’t really suck, and I’m confused as to why it’s on the Bad Creepypasta Wiki.
Mirror: There are flaws, of course. It’s based off of “Jeff the Killer,” which usually isn’t a good thing (though it can be argued that out of any story Riffed on here, this one uses the Jeff Formula the best). There are some flaws in logic here or there. For example, why didn’t Johnny write down who it was who burned his face instead of getting murderous revenge on them? Also, some parts seem a tad over dramatic. And should I mention that Keith, who was in “Jeff the Killer,” is now here?
Dorkpool: There are some good things though. This story uses the Jeff Formula rather well. Instead of making [insert name of writer here] the Killer, the writer creates a character who has logical motivations (to an extent) and with a creation that is somewhat feasible. Seriously, formic acid does corrode skin, so this does make sense. Well, it at least makes more sense than bleach and vodka burning someone, and just making their skin white. Also, the spelling and grammar are pretty good, especially for a Jeff Formula story. Honestly, I’m not quite sure why this is on the Bad Creepypasta Wiki. It isn’t perfect, but it definitely isn’t bad. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d get killed by someone who called our mother MILFs? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.