Mirror: What story?
Dorkpool: “Kyle the Killer.”
Mirror: Is it a Jeff ripoff?
Dorkpool: Well, the word “killer” is in the name, and it’s from the Jeff the Killer Wiki. So, yeah.
Dorkpool: Let’s just wear headphones and Riff this bitch.
My name may be "Kyle the Killer", but its not because I kill.
Dorkpool: (Kyle): It’s because I think it’s a cute name.
Its to remind me of the suffering HE put me through. I'm getting ahead of myself, I'll start from when I first met him.
Meeting Jeff the Killer
I had just left my friends home, her name is Jane Arkensaw.
Mirror: (Kyle): I’d just gotten rejected by her for the fifteenth time.
She had told about something she witnessed, the three kids who attacked some kid and his brother, I ignored. I wish I wouldn't have.
Dorkpool: (Kyle): Not because it factors into anything later. No, it’s because she’s such a good storyteller.
As I stood outside the house I saw Jeff's brother being hauled off in a police car, I had pushed it off and walked home. I lived a few houses down from Jane's. I entered my house putting my headphones down on the table, headed up to my room. My parents weren't home yet so I was home alone.
Mirror: (Kyle): Time to watch some porn with the volume all the way up!
I sat on the bed turning on the TV flicking through the channels til I found the news. They were talking about a robbery or something, I ignored it and turned it back off, laying down.
The next morning I had walked out of my room and headed out, grabbing my headphones and wrapped the longer wire behind my neck
Dorkpool: (Kyle): …and hung myself.
and let it hang on my chest along side the shorter wire. These headphones were like my signature part of whatever I wore, or at least that was what some friends have said about them.
Mirror: (Kyle): Did you catch that, fan art artists?
When I had reached school and walked into class, I saw Jeff sitting in the back alone. I decided to be freindly and walk up and introduce myself to him.
"Hello, my name is Kyle"
He just sat there looking down, who could blame him? If I had a sibling who went to Juvy, I'd be a little annoyed too.
Dorkpool: I’d be more annoyed at the fact that the police took my brother without just because he said he committed the crime, which really is more of an action taken in self-defense. But that’s just me.
I walked away and took my seat, pulling out my notebook and taking notes.
After School I had put my headphones on my ears and played my music, headed towards Jane's house, running into Jeff and accidentally bumping into him.
"Sorry, didn't see you"
"......Its alright, but don't do it again"
I nodded in reply "Like I said earlier, I'm Kyle"
"Well its nice to meet ya."
He nodded and walked off as I went back on my way to Jane's house.
Mirror: (Kyle): When will senpai notice me?
Talking with Jane
I had told Jane that I had met Jeff earlier that day, to which she was a bit irriatated to because of the whole attack incident
"Kyle, listen to me. Please don't associate yourself with him, he could snap again like when the three attacked him...."
Dorkpool: (Jane): His motives and characterization are so underdeveloped that he might do anything.
I nodded "Alright, I'll try to do that... He scares me a bit to be honest with ya"
Mirror: Wow, someone’s scared of Jeff the Killer. That’s different.
Just then we heard the commotion next door at the kids party.
"What the hell? Was that a gunshot?!" I yelled going over to the window overlooking the party.
Dorkpool: Well, if you’re in the South, probably.
Jane pulled me back so that I wouldn't be seen if they happened to look up. She had looked out the window, but she didn't look to far, just enough that she can see without being spotted and saw that Jeff was fighting the 3 boys. They had reached the bathroom, Jeff had Bleach in his face, and was set on fire.
Mirror: So getting anime on one’s face sets them on fire?
Dorkpool: Of course. One time I got a bit of One Piece on me, and just erupted into a fireball.
I freaked, of course, I mean he was on fire.
Dorkpool: (singing): THIS GUY IS ON FIIIIIIIRE!
After a while, the fire was put out, and he was taken to the hospital.
Becoming Kyle the Killer
After a while, he was released from the hospital and his brother from Juvy.
Mirror: (Kyle): I know this because I stalk him.
His family invited Jane's family over for dinner. I was nervous when I heard that she was going over. I didn't want my closest friend to get hurt by him, after all, he was able to take on those three, even with guns.
Dorkpool: Oh, please. He’s not that tough. He had on plot armor.
Mirror: How’s your tongue?
Dorkpool: …I’ll shut up now.
He was a tough kid after all. A while had passed and I look out my window to see a birght light, almost like a fire coming from inside his house. I ran out of the house, rushing over to make sure everything was alright. But, I was to late... I had found that Jeff had murdered the his family and Jane's, they all had the same thing on their face, that damn white face with the carved in smile.
Mirror: Definitive proof that Jeff the Killer is the Joker.
He had it on him to. I looked over and saw that he had Jane tied to a chair and he had lit her on fire, I started to panic. He had set Jane on fire. I was paralyzed in fear, I sat there as he did that to her. He murdered her and I was helpless!!
Dorkpool: I think you mean “useless.”
A while later I had ran away from there, not even thinking to go in to check on her, jee, what a good friend I was....
Mirror: Hey, you said it, not me.
I sat in my room, shaking in fear. I heard a crash downstairs, I got up and crept my way to my door to look out, I couldn't get a good view from my room, so I moved closer to the stairs, boy am I glad we didn't have railings, we had little walls in there place so I can peak over and hide easily. I crouched behind it and peaked over. It was him.
Dorkpool: (Kyle): Shia LeBouf.
That damn face of his, Jeff had burst into my home. I quickly ducked back down as my parents were down there, I got paranoid because of it. What could I do? All the knives were down stairs. I heard my mom screaming as my dad tried taking him down, but he stabbed him in the stomach, causing him to fall. He turned his attention to my mother and knocked her down tying her up.
Mirror: So is Jeff into bondage?
He proceeded to do the same thing he did to his family and searched the house for others, such as me. He made his way upstairs as I hid in the bathroom, with the door locked, I picked up a glass bottle and held it by the neck of it, waiting for him to burst in before I smash it.
Dorkpool: I don’t think that’s what “settle it in Smash” means.
"Come on you son of a bitch..." I whispered to myself, waiting for him to burst in.
A few minutes later, I hear footsteps, they're right outside. I hear the doorknob jiggle, he knew it was locked and that someone was most likely in here. I silenced myself completely, he rammed the door a bit and it budged a little, I was waiting for him to try and strike. He bursts in and I smashed the glass bottle on the counter and kicked him in the knee, making him fall, but he caught himself and grabed my arm tight, making me drop the bottle.
Mirror: So you kick Jeff in the knee, and smash the glass bottle on the counter? Why not smash it on Jeff? What are you, some kind of moron? Oh, wait, duh.
"Why resist? Don't you want to be beautiful?" He said to me with his creepy carved in smile.
"What the hell are you talking about?! I saw what you did to your family and mine, and what you did to HER!" I yelled back.
Dorkpool: (Jeff): Yeah, but you still didn’t answer my question.
"All I did was make them beautiful, like me" he said, starting to laugh, and he knocked me out.
As I woke up and looked around, I found myself tied up to the chair, and my parents on the other side of the room, dead. Jeff was looking at me, he had a matchbox in his hand. I knew immediately what he would do to me.
Mirror: (Kyle): Give me a makeover.
"Look who's finally awake." Jeff had said to me
"Why are you doing this, Jeff?!" I asked
"Because, everyone deserves to be Beautiful" He laughed.
"What the hell are you talking about?! You don't make people "beautiful" by burning their face off!"
Dorkpool: Tell that to his fangirls.
"Well its what happened to me, and I want to help spread it to others" he said walking closer lighting the match.
"You back away from me NOW!"I yelled at him.
"You're in no posistion to tell me what to do" he threw the match on my face and burnt me, the same way he did Jane.
I cried out in pain, as my face was burning, turning into the same color as Jane's,
Mirror: (Kyle): That color is periwinkle, if anyone’s curious.
the fire eventually went out, but not after causing major burns to my face, I struggled to get free for a few minutes before getting out of the rope restraints, Jeff had left.
"Wow, not even man enough to finish the damn job." I said as I got out of the chair.
I headed to the door and opened it, no one there. I walked out and headed to the hospital to get treated for the burns.
Dorkpool: Burn wounds: they really aren’t a big deal.
As I got checked in, they took me to a room and started treating me, after making me pass out from that gas,
I woke up to find that my head was wrapped in bandages with only my eyes able to see the light of day.
Mirror: Well, eyes do that.
I looked around to find that I was in a Hospital bed, I overheard a couple nurses talking about a patient, they said the name "Arkensaw". My eyes widened at that name as I called over one of the nurses.
"Yes, what is it?" She said looking at me
"Can I please go see the Arkensaw patient?"
"Sorry, but she can't have visitor's right now. I'll let you know when you can see her though." She said to me.
"Alright... just one last thing..." I said a bit disappointed.
"What is it?" She asked me.
Dorkpool: (Kyle): Do you want to build a snowman?
"Does her first name happen to be Jane?" I asked concerned
"Yes. It is" she said, leaving the room.
I had my assurance that she was alive, but what was her condition? All I could do for now is hope she is alright. I layed back, closing my eyes, trying to fall asleep. It took a while, but I finally fell asleep. I had nightmares about HIM.
Mirror: Oh please, they were wet dreams and you know it.
I awoke in the morning, later that day, I could remove my bandages. After a few hours, a doctor came in and removed my bandages, I thanked him and asked him when I can leave the hospital. He told me when I'm ready, I waited about an hour before leaving, headed to my house and going in, my parents corpses gone, I went into the kitchen and grabed a pair of Switch blades. I had turned the safeties on and put them in my pocket, I grabbed my headphones and put them around my neck, letting them hang there.
Dorkpool: (Kyle): Remember, fan art artists, I wear headphones.
After walking to my room, I looked around, grabbing my phone putting it in my pocket, hooking the headphones into it. I left the house, heading back down to the Hospital to see Jane.
As I entered the hospital, I waited for an employee to head to the desk. One arrived after a few minutes, she gave me a visitor pass and I was off to Jane's room. When I arrived, she was awake. I walked in and sat down as she looked at me
"Oh my god! Jeff got you to!" She said in horror.
Mirror: Jeff got him to…what, exactly?
"Yes... and my family.... I need to find him, and finish this..." I said in reply.
"Please don't go and get yourself killed..." She said looking downwards
"Heh, I won't, I'm not easy to kill." I said looking at her.
Dorkpool: Five minutes later, he ends up dead.
She looked over at me and shook her head "Doesn't mean you're not going to be reckless..." she said "He's coming back for me... but I don't know when.." she said looking back down
"Listen to me, I will not allow him to do that, He will pay for what he did to us, our familes, and all the other victims of his." I said with determination.
She looked at me and said "...Yea.... he must pay..."
Mirror: (Jane): …$19.95, plus shipping and handling.
The hospital announced that visiting hours were now over.
I looked at her "Don't worry Jane, We'll talk tomorrow." I said as I got up and left the hospital, going home.
I layed in my bed, looking at the ceiling, thinking to myself, how am I going to find and beat him. I turned the TV, and the news was talking about a killing that happened a few cities away. The killings played out EXACTLY like one of Jeff's murders.
"That son of a bitch!" I yelled punching the wall.
Dorkpool: (Kyle): The wall was not impressed.
He gotten more. I sat up and looking around my room, I placed my Switch blades to the side and my headphones next to them, laying back do to sleep. I had no nightmares this night.
Mirror: (Kyle): Just weird dreams involving Shrek.
I woke up the next morning, grabbing my weapons and headphones putting them all back on, heading outside. Jane was there to my surprise.
Dorkpool: Shia surprise!
I looked at her, her eyes fully black, black lipstick. I walked up to her. We knew we had ti fnd Jeff, before he found us.
Mirror: (Kyle): We had to find him and give him his birthday present.
Dorkpool: This story is just bad.
Mirror: The spelling and grammar are terrible, for one thing. While it isn’t “White the Killer” bad, it still sucks. The plot is pretty much a generic OC story (and we all know that the writer wrote this story with fan art in mind), and it’s basically a spin-off of “Jane the Killer: The Real Story.” There’s very little characterization on display. Hell, character-wise, the most I can say about Kyle is that he wears headphones, and considers himself a tough guy. And even with the whole “tough guy” thing, that’s just in Kyle’s words. There’s a rule called “show, don’t tell.” Well, this writer ignored it. Well, maybe the scene where after being set on fire, Kyle breaks out of his restraints and walks to a hospital is supposed to show that he’s tough, but all it really shows is stupidity. If you want to show that he’s tough, do it in a way that makes sense. Show Kyle beating up some bullies or something. But don’t have him do something stupid and unrealistic. Jane gets a bit more characterization, but only to be kind of a “damsel in distress” and possible love interest in future stories. While I will admit that Jane was kind of a wuss in her story (seriously, how many times did she faint?), she did at least try to stop Jeff. Here…not really. As for Jeff…well, characterization wise, this is par for the course.
Dorkpool: There are good things though. The story isn’t very long, nor is it written pretentiously. Also, this story is at least finished. Considering how many stories on the Jeff the Killer Wiki aren’t, that’s something. And at least it has a beginning, middle, and end.
Mirror: You’re really reaching, aren’t you?
Dorkpool: Yes, yes I am. Honestly, this story sucks. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d be strangled by headphones? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Jeff woke up. He had no idea how long he’d been unconscious. The last thing he remembered was getting his ass handed to him by some guy in black armor.
He was in a cell. Not a big one, but it wasn’t exactly a terrible one either. It had a bed, a toilet, and a forcefield blocking any escape he might try and make. The last one was new for him.
Jeff was figuring out how to escape when the man in black armor walked in front of his cell. Jeff, angry at the fact that he was hurt by the guy, ran towards him. This wasn’t one of his more intelligent decisions, as he ran right into the forcefield, and was shocked. Literally. The forcefield also propelled him backwards, and he slammed right into a wall.
The man in armor just stood there, watching. Jeff, not wanting to speak first, examined the guy a bit more. He was in black armor, and wore a white, skull-like helmet. Nifty.
They sat/stood in silence for a little while until Jeff, tired of just being quiet and wanting answers, asked, “So you’re from the Project?”
The man in armor nodded.
“What do you want?”
“Bait,” the man answered simply.
The man nodded again.
“Someone I want to hurt.”
“What makes you think I’m going to go along with being bait?”
“Because,” the man said, “the person I want to hurt is named Dorkpool.”