Mirror: Your legal tender is strange.
Dorkpool: What’s yours like?
Mirror: In my universe, it has my face on it.
Dorkpool: And you complained that I was a narcissist…
Mirror: Anyway, go on.
Dorkpool: So the dollar bill has that eye pyramid, and JFK’s murderer has never really been caught. ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED!
Mirror: I thought his killer was caught.
Dorkpool: ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED!
Mirror: You’re being an idiot.
Dorkpool: Yeah, well, we’re Riffing a story from the Creepypasta Land Wiki called “Killuminati Annabelle.” And yes, it has to do with the Illuminati.
Mirror: Oh, joy.
Dorkpool: So, let’s come up with conspiracy theories and Riff this bitch!
The Illuminati is quite a shady group that leaves legends in the society.
Dorkpool: Not just any society, but the society.
No one knows the truth about them, and that leaves people wondering if they really exist. First time I heard about the Illuminati, I shrugged it off as complete bullshit, but let me tell you a story about my own encounter with these satanic freaks.
Mirror: (Narrator): It involves a flamethrower, gasoline, and burritos.
I am a student at West Virginia University, and classes were out for spring break. I decided to visit my hometown, Prosperity, WV. My roommate, Steve, was staying in our dorm, and he told me to call him once I got home since I had to drive about three hours to get there.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): I usually called him about three hours in advance to tell him I was home, then laughed as he waited for me.
I chose to drive at night because there would be less traffic on the roads, so at about 1 am, I was already on the road. Now, I was driving on highway 19, and I didn't have to make any drastic turns on the road, so I was pretty chill. I turned on the radio and drove about 60 mph.
Mirror: Sammy Hagar was wrong. One can drive 55.
About two hours in the drive, I was driving past Lansing, and something very unnatural happened. It was 3 am by now, and still pitch dark outside. As I am driving past a gas station, I turn to see the gas prices.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): $4 a gallon? That’s bullshit.
I looked away from the road for maybe a second because I didn't spot a single car in the fourth of a mile radius. Right when I turn my head back to the road, I see a flashing light speeding towards me, maybe fifty yards away.
Mirror: Come to the light.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Ok! –crashes-
This light was also accompanied by a loud screeching sound, and at that moment I couldn't tell if the driver was pressing the brake so hard, it was making a sound, or something inside that vehicle was making it, but that that time, I didn't care.
Mirror: (Narrator): I loved it.
I yelled and turned my steering wheel as hard as I could, sending my car off the road. For some reason, the car didn't stop once I hit the grass, and kept moving until it stopped at a small road. It didn't seem like it was abandoned, so I decided to drive down this road.
Dorkpool: You all just know this isn’t going to end well.
I noticed that there was a river to my right, and decided not to stray from the river, so if I get lost, I can turn around and drive back.
I had been driving for around 30 minutes, but I didn't see any signs of life.
Mirror: (Narrator): Just signs saying, “Turn Back” and “Don’t Dead Enter Inside.”
I had seen not a single soul on the road, and I was starting to doubt my chances of getting home down this road. I pulled over and took my phone out of my pocket. I checked the directions.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): For some reason, the directions are to an IKEA.
To my surprise, the phone said that I was going the right way and I was to reach home in twenty minutes. Also a strange thing popped up on my map: the directions said that I was going to be driving past a town, which I had no knowledge of, and I knew almost all towns near Prosperity.
Mirror: (Narrator): I spend my every waking hour memorizing every town near Prosperity.
I shrugged it off, and continued driving. Soon enough, I see a sign saying 'Thurmond, WV in 3 miles' I've never heard of Thurmond, and I wish I had, so I could have turned around and drove the fuck out of there.
Dorkpool: I said something similar about “White the Killer.”
As I am driving on the desolated road, I spot something, which alarms me. The closer I drive, the more I can make out of the figure. To my uttermost surprise, I see a girl, maybe around fifteen years old, standing on the side of the road.
Mirror: (Narrator): Wait, no, that’s not a girl, that’s Bill Bixby. False alarm.
I haven't spotted a single soul on my entire drive here, but now, I see a teenage girl right as I'm about to drive into a mysterious town. Something was off about this, and I wanted no part in it, buts she must've spotted the headlights of my car, because at that moment, the girl was looking me straight in the eyes through my window.
Dorkpool: (singing): I always feel like somebody’s watching me!
As uncomfortable as I was, I figured that she simply needed a ride back to the town, so I stopped. Little did I know that this was probably the biggest mistake of my life.
Mirror: (Narrator): I watched an Adam Sandler movie without any type of alcohol.
"Hey kid, what are you doing here?" I rolled down my window to take a closer look at her. She was wearing a white blouse, black skirt, and red flats, along with various pieces of jewelry. Her scarlet hair cascaded down to her shoulders, and her eyes were a crimson red, which was the only thing off about her.
Dorkpool: Well, that and the fact that she’s just walking around a possibly abandoned town. But that’s normal for you, I guess.
I decided not to ask about them, since it might be caused by an illness, and I didn't want to seem rude. She didn't seem hostile at all.
"My name is Annabelle Torres. I was taking a walk, but then I got lost. Will you please drive me back to my house?" She said politely and smiled.
Mirror: (Narrator): Nope!
I didn't want to waste any time, but I wasn't about to leave a child stranded in the middle of nowhere at night, so I took a double take and sighed.
"Get in the backseat." I said, and unlocked the doors. Annabelle opened the door, and sat down on one of my seats, "Do you know your address?"
"Yeah, do you have a piece of paper and a pen?" I took out my notebook and pen, and handed it to her. She quickly wrote down her address, and handed it back to me.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Why does this say, “ALWAYS WATCHES”?
Mirror: (Annabelle): I’m thinking of making a game where someone has to get a bunch of pages like that while getting chased by a tall guy in a suit.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): That’ll never catch on.
I set the address in my GPS and started driving.
While driving, I would look in the rearview mirror, and whenever I did at that moment, I would see the kid looking back at me, smiling. This made me feel very uneasy. Just the way she appeared made my stomach drop. Her skin was pale. Not a natural pale, but a sickly, paper-white pale.
Mirror: Oh no, it’s a Jeff the Killer wannabe! Run!
And the way her eyes looked. Whenever I would even look away from the mirror, I could feel her crimson red irises burning into my skull. Thankfully, we drove into town a couple of minutes later. I thought that Annabelle would be the freakiest thing I'd have to go through that night, but I was so wrong.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Michael Jackson and Mel Gibson showed up.
Thurmond appeared to be a deserted town. All of the buildings looked as if they were about to collapse, and once again, not a single living human, not a single car, nothing.
"Hey, are you sure this is the right address?" I ask. There is an eerie silence for a couple of seconds.
"Yeah, it is. My house is the one over there."
Mirror: (Annabelle): It’s next to the graveyard and right between the abandoned church and the house with blood dripping from the roof.
Annabelle pointed towards a large wooden house that's painted a dark green. I had to pressure myself in even driving near the house. I turned my car around, so I can get out of the town faster, and unlocked the doors.
"We're here, Annabelle." I say, as I turn around. She stared at me for another couple of seconds.
"Thank you." The girl smiled and got out of the car. She looked at the house, then back tome, then back to the house.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Then back to me, then back at the house, then back to me.
Mirror: And then?
The next thing she said terrorized me, and I can't stand even thinking about it.
"Would you like to come with me?" Annabelle looked at me with a calm look. A simple phrase, but it struck me like a grenade.
Mirror: There’s a grenade around! Quick, get Bruno Mars!
The right thing to do in that situation would have been to speed away from there as fast as I could and never come back, but I guess my brain didn't work that fast.
"I- I- I'm not going in there." I stuttered, and looked at her wide eyed. Suddenly Annabelle looked down at the ground, and then back up to me. Then I saw the saddest, and cutest look I've ever seen in my life.
Mirror: (Narrator): The same look I’d see later when she was cutting me open.
The girl looked at me, puppy-eyed
"Please?" I don't understand how this demon child could turn into the most adorable human being in just a matter of seconds, but the next thing I knew, I was standing in the doorway of the house. Annabelle turned the doorknob and it made a ghastly sound. She walked into the house, and I followed. Now, I usually don't get scared easily, but what I saw inside the house will haunt me forever.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): A NAMBLA meeting.
I saw a group of people, all with different masks on, gathered around a table, which had something glowing on it. Pictures of dead celebrities and random people, pentagrams, and blood were plastered over the walls. Once Annabelle and I walked in the group turned to us. I was about to grab the kid and run, thinking that this is a paranormal activity,
Mirror: No, paranormal activity involves more found footage and shaky cameras.
but when I looked at her, her face was formed into a crazed smile.
"I've brought the new sacrifice." She said. What I did next was probably an effect of fight-or-flight instincts, but it saved my life.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): I mooned them.
I darted out of the house, into my car, started it, and without a second thought, sped away from the town as fast as I could.
My GPS turned out to be correct, and I got home quickly. I ate dinner with my parents, and when they asked me what took me so long, I just said it was traffic. I didn't dare tell them what happened. As soon as I got into my room, I typed 'Annabelle Torres' into the search engine, and the results made my heart sink.
Mirror: (Narrator): Sudden Heart-Focused Gravity Syndrome.
"Annabelle Charlotte Torres, born in Monroe, Virginia. Experienced much paranormal activity throughout her life, and went missing at the age of fourteen. It is believed that she had contact with the Illuminati before she disappeared.
Dorkpool: (Result): She also ranted a lot about how 9/11 was an inside job and how satellites were reading people’s minds.
Many claim to have seen Annabelle, but none of the events were proven. However, all of the people that claim to have spotted her have one thing in common: after their encounters, they find the phrase 'Wake up' carved on their lower back"
I stood up and went to the bathroom. As I lifted up my shirt, I saw the messy handwriting that matched the paper Annabelle wrote her 'address' on. Two words that haunt me to this day
Mirror: Hail Hydra.
Dorkpool: This story isn’t very good.
Mirror: The main problem is the ending. It seems like it comes right out of nowhere. The beginning seemed sane, and pretty good, and suddenly…stupid! It’s not the cult thing that’s stupid, it’s the fact that the cult is considered to be the Illuminati. That’s really pretty stupid. As far as I know, the Illuminati doesn’t work like that. And why the phrase “wake up”? That doesn’t gel with anything, and just seems like a cheap Jeff the Killer reference.
Dorkpool: That all being said, the story isn’t terrible. The spelling and grammar is pretty good, especially for a Creepypasta Land story. The beginning part wasn’t that bad; actually, it was pretty good. And the story wasn’t very long, so that’s good. However, it still has flaws that bring it down. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d wake up? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.