Mirror: Before you ask, it’s because we’re busy and Dorkpool wants to play CoD or Halo.
Dorkpool: Well, it’s multiplayer, so we can all play it, and I kick ass.
Mirror: Dude, you spawn camp.
Dorkpool: Hey, it’s a legitimate strategy.
Mirror: It’s pathetic.
Dorkpool: Hey, at least I don’t always use a saw in Halo!
Mirror: It’s cool gun!
Dorkpool: It’s OP!
Mirror: Which is why it’s so cool.
Dorkpool: …I still kick ass.
Mirror: Anyway, this is getting off topic.
Dorkpool: Right. Today’s Riff is a story called “GTA.RAR,” and it’s a story about, what else, GTA. So let’s make people who’ve never played video games consider us homicidal maniacs because we played the game, and Riff this bitch!
START RIFF
Okay, I need to share this, that creatu-
Dorkpool: (Narrator): …-re from the Black Lagoon.
Okay...be calm now.
Mirror: (Narrator): Alright…now panic.
Prologue
So, I was an huge fan of the sandbox Grand Theft Auto series and I owned a lot of games. I owned GTA 3, GTA Vice City, and GTA SA all on the Xbox, not to mention GTA IV with EFLC on the 360.
Dorkpool: And I thought Mirror’s obsession with RWBY was psychotic…
Mirror: Hey!
Dorkpool: Well, it still kind of is.
Mirror: That’s beside the point.
The thing I like to do most in GTA on PC is modding. However...it was until today when something caused me to quit modding...That thing...he's...everywhere.
Mirror: (Narrator): Which it makes it very awkward when I’m using the bathroom.
Okay, I'll share you this creepy story, and this is how it started:
I was watching an YouTube video called GTA SA My Mod that only had 4 viewers. It looked awesome, it had new cars, new textures, ENB Series(Graphic Mod), and new pedestrians. Even a new island. After the video, I looked in the description for a download link. It did. It sent me to an site named RapeModly and it had the mod.
The download was called: GTA.RAR
I downloaded it.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): And immediately got a virus.
It took me 4 hours to download it. After the download was done I pasted the mod into my GTA SA folder.
The start of the end
I started the game,and it loaded. I was not at the alleyway with the BMX, I was now spawned in the Back O' Beyond. It wasn't the same mod as in the YouTube video, it still looked the same as the original one, as if this was a minor mod. I was pissed, but I started walking. Then I heard a voice whispering. It said:
Mirror: (Voice): Hail Hydra.
"I'M COMING."
I thought, "My mind is probably playing tricks on me." But that was wrong.
A creature, that looked so real, so horrifying, was standing. Watching me. I then realized that the clock has frozen at 00:00. I shrugged it as the mod activated the "clock stuck at 0:00" cheat when I started the game. Every time I blinked that creature was getting closer, which resembles SCP.
Dorkpool: Great, he downloaded the “SCP: Containment Breach” mod.
Then, the HUD and radar disappeared, and I lost of control of CJ. He was walking himself. I was trying to control him, but nothing worked. When he was next to the creature, he..No, it had large... sunken... black eyes.
Mirror: Hello, cliché, nice to see you.
One minute passed, the game's color began to get dull and graphics began to distort and screen artifacts were appearing everywhere. As if my graphic cards were jacked up.
I was about to stop. I pressed ESC to pause but nothing happens. I pressed the Windows logo on my keyboard, but it wouldn't budge.. I tried Ctrl+Alt+Delete, but it also didn't work. Then images with strange things showed up. Like a horse with 1 leg, or woman eating glass, or even a man eating organs! And they look very realistic. There were more images, but they were just too disgusting to discuss.
Dorkpool: Oh, so they were all pictures of Donald Trump. Got it.
They didn't seem to be captured from the game, it was actually real-world images! I kicked the computer, and the computer turned off. I'm still having nightmares. I'm having a sort of insomnia.
Mirror: Are you unable to sleep? Because that’s basically what insomnia is.
Dorkpool: The more you know.
I tried to turn my PC on...but it didn't turn on, as if the power was unplugged. Plugging out and back in the cables would make no change at all. Perhaps one of the computer parts got damaged after I kicked the CPU last time. I opened the CPU, and noticed that almost all CPU parts from the motherboard are fried. I threw it in the trash can. Despite this, I'm still seeing things...
Dorkpool: (Narrator): I’m tripping balls, dude.
After about 7 months later, I had enough money to buy a new computer.
I went to the original website, but it showed an 404 Error. I went to the video, but the video is nowhere to be found. I can't also find it in my browser history, as if I haven't watched that yet.
Mirror: A video that won’t show up in a guy’s browser history? There are millions of guys who would love that.
Even though I bought a new computer and GTA V on my PC, I am still a bit shooken up. I don't know what to do. I still have visions in my head about that wierd thing with large, sunken black eyes, and have nightmares most at the time. When playing GTA V, I would also see that creature with large, sunken black eyes, a women pedestrian eating glasses, and also a horse with one leg.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): I really need to lay off the drugs.
mirroring the disgusting images I've seen before, I really hope that there will be a time where I forget about all of this. Because, this isn't normal.
Mirror: Actually, for a story like this, this is all pretty tame.
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story sucks.
Mirror: It’s pretty generic for a glitchy game story. Person finds game, it’s fucked up, and makes the person a bit fucked up. Pretty normal. Hell, this one is pretty lackluster. Sure, it doesn’t engage in many clichés, but what it offers is just so boring. Oh, a horse has one leg. So scary. Seriously? That’s the best you can do? Come on, dude, try just a bit harder. Try having the one legged horse also breathe fire and bleed skulls from its rectum or something. Sure, it’s bizarre, but it’s better than being boring as all hell. Even outside of being boring, the spelling and grammar have some flaws.
Dorkpool: There are good things. The story is short, which is nice, and it at least tries to avoid using a lot of clichés. However, the story still isn’t that good. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d see a one legged horse? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.