Mirror: Nope. Should I have?
Dorkpool: I have no idea. I hadn’t, and was wondering if you did, since today’s story, called “Friendly John,” is about said character.
Mirror: Oh. Sorry, I’ve got nothing.
Dorkpool: Alrighty then. Well, let’s keep our eyes peeled for spooky scary skeletons, and Riff this bitch!
Dorkpool: Hello, person.
Sorry for not updating you in awhile, I was just really busy hiding from... him.
Mirror: (Narrator): An overly aggressive telemarketer.
As you know, I went to explore River Country for you guys to give you an in-depth look on things. I suppose I went a little TOO in-depth, and saw something I wasn't supposed to see.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): I saw what Donald Trump’s hair really is.
Now I fear I'm going to spend the rest of my days hiding from this.. this THING, or he'll get me.. I'm sure of it. Let me just tell you what happened, I think I'm safe here. I've got auto post on so in case anything happens, this will still post to the blog.
I got to River Country, like you guys asked me to in our weekly poll.
Mirror: (Narrator): So I blame all of you for this.
The only way in was to swim, or to break through through the gate. I chose to break through the gate. Once in, I saw a few things that I had seen in pictures on the Internet, but then I saw something... out of the ordinary. There seemed to be a makeshift house made with rocks and parts from water slides. I took a photo of this to put on the blog, then decided to investigate. This was my first mistake.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): My second was accidentally stepping on a psychotic old man’s lawn.
I wedged my hand through an opening in the structure, and felt something somewhat cold, and bony. I ripped the house to pieces to see even more and I saw a skeleton. At first I thought it was an animal's, but upon closer inspection, I saw it was a HUMANS'. This really creeped me out, and I started to shake.
Both: (singing): Spooky scary skeletons send shivers down your spine. Shrieking skulls will shock your soul, seal your doom tonight.
I thought I was having a panic attack, but then the feeling swept by me. I turned around to walk away as if I saw nothing, but then I heard a voice come from behind. "Was I as interesting as you hoped?" the voice said, in a really deep, raspy voice. I slowly turned around, and the shaking intensified. The skeleton had stood up. "I'm Friendly John", it said, "I'd like to be friends with you. We can have lots of fun at River Country".
Mirror: (Narrator): Oh, hello, you seem nice and HOLY SHIT YOU’RE A TALKING SKELETON.
The way he said "River Country" really set off the fear in me. I ran. I don't think I've ever run so fast in my life. I was literally crying for my life. I looked back. He was coming really close, and I could see a creepy smile on his skull-face. I saw a broken down water slide and decided that this was my best option to get out. I would rather plunge into an alligator swamp than spend 1 second in the hands of "Friendly John".
Dorkpool: But he seems so friendly.
I leaped on to the slide and started sliding down. Halfway down, I hit a tree. While trying to work myself out as quickly as possible, I heard his voice again. "It's never fun to be stuck. Let me help you out."
Mirror: Out of context, this sounds kind of wrong.
He slid down after me and shoved me hard, breaking the tree. I continued down the slide, with him sliding down after me. Then I plunged into the water. I swam out to the main grounds as fast as possible, getting in my car and speeding away. When I finally got to my house, I ran in and locked all the doors. I heard his voice again. "Don't leave, you have an all day pass!" he said. I darted for the closet, and I'm still in there.
Dorkpool: Come out of the closet, man. We’ll accept you for who you are.
I hear footsteps outside. In case anything happens, I'm going to give you my address: 4021 East OH GOD, PLEASE SEND HELP! Qdtu adbfad
im friendly john. you should come visit river country. im sure you will have a great time!
Mirror: Sure, once you know how to use the shift key and apostrophes.
Dorkpool: This story is “eh.”
Mirror: Why does the narrator type, “OH GOD, PLEASE SEND HELP”? Why not just type out his address? Granted, this is our way of finding out he was taken by Friendly John. Speaking of Friendly John, what exactly does he do to people he finds? Does he kill them? Take their skin? I’m honestly confused. There’s also little to no characterization, of either John or the narrator, which makes it hard to be afraid of John or for the narrator. Maybe if the narrator mentioned some things about his life or whatnot, that could’ve helped. Also, there’s a part where “through” is written twice. And, to be honest, this story is pretty cliché. How many times have you read a story written as a blog/journal where the narrator was saying how “it” or “him” was going to get him/her? Just saying.
Dorkpool: There are good things. The ending with Friendly John writing something actually does sort of work, based on what I know of John. I can see him doing that. Also, it’s short and for the most part has pretty good spelling and grammar. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d meet Friendly John? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.