Dorkpool: Ever heard of the Bio-Infest?
Mirror: Nope. Sounds like some 90s FPS game.
Dorkpool: It’s not.
Mirror: What is it then?
Dorkpool: Well, let’s get superglued to our beds and Riff this bitch!
START RIFF
Have you ever seen the bio-infest?
Dorkpool: (Narrator): I’ve looked everywhere, but can’t find it. Have you seen it?
It lives in most houses. It lays dormant until you are and comes out of the wall. In ancient times this thing would kill you in one sting, and it would give you immense pain.
Mirror: (Narrator): Now, it just crashes at your place for a bit, then goes on its way.
BIO-FEST
When it comes out you have a 1 in 1000 chance of getting stung.
Dorkpool: Still better odds than winning the lottery.
When it stings you, you won't notice it at first. This will look like a normal mosquito bite.
Mirror: And no one notices mosquito bites, amirite?
The next day it will start to itch like a bitch. Don't scratch it or you will make it worse, well it doesn't matter you'll still die.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): So go nuts! Do whatever you want! Cover your bitchy neighbor’s house in toilet paper! Moon your douchey boss! It doesn’t matter. You’ll be dead soon.
If you do scratch your fingers will get infected. After an hour or two you will start to see this is not a normal bite.
SYMPTOMS AND THE IRONY
Your skin will start to peel off, and if you spread it on your fingers your nails will fall off. When you call the doctor and he/she comes over he will say~ There is nothing to worry about you will be fine~.
Mirror: (Doctor): Anyway, that will be $500.
He/she knows, in fact they all know of the symptoms but won't say what is wrong. After another two hours your vision will blur and heart beat rate will increase.
Now don't fall asleep because if you do, you will wake up super glued to your bed. Yes your skin will be all sticky and feel like paste.
Dorkpool: Oh no! My skin will turn into Ctrl-V! The horror!
SYMPTOMS CONTINUED
After two more hours your weight will drastically go down, you will be able to feel your ribs against your skin. It will feel like a tight jacket that will keep getting smaller until your sticky skin finally rips (stick depending on if you fell asleep). Soon you will be nothing but bones, muscles, and organs.
Mirror: Isn’t that what you basically already are?
WHEN YOU ARE DEAD
When it had stung you it had left a chemical that would tell it if you were dead or not. Once you are dead it will nest in your organs and have 10-40 offspring.
Dorkpool: Sheesh, it should really use protection.
It will only take a day or two for it to eat all your internal organs.
AFTER YOU ARE DEAD
When it's done it will move on to your family.
Mirror: (Narrator): So, on the bright side, you in-laws will be dead too.
The offspring will peel through the skin and eat them from the inside. They will even eat the bone, then when they are done they will hibernate once
THE CONTROVERSY
After this the doctor will come back to file a report claiming that there were no owners in this house the day before.
Both: -hums the X-Files theme-
The doctor will then send it to the national health agency in the area and from there will send a note to the official government.
You and your family will soon be noted as missing. The reason for this is... Well who wants to live in a house after this?
Dorkpool: White people in a horror movie.
So watch out when you go to sleep...
Mirror: -sighs- I’ll add this to the list of things to watch out for before going to bed.
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story sucks, but it’s fun.
Mirror: The main reason for the secrecy is pretty stupid. I mean, seriously, because the house won’t be something buyers want? Why not say it was some government project that got out of hand, and take out the line about it being from ancient times? Boom. It’s now that much better. Also, this story doesn’t feel scary, yet I feel like it’s trying to be. I think that’s possibly because of the subject matter being dealt with in a smartassey sort of way. And honestly, a lot of it sounds kind of stupid. Don’t sleep, or you’ll be superglued to your bed. Ahhh. 2spoopy4me.
Dorkpool: There are some good things. The story’s short, which is nice. Despite not being good, it’s still fun. And, for the most part, the spelling and grammar are decent. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d get the Bio-Infest? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Mirror: Nope. Sounds like some 90s FPS game.
Dorkpool: It’s not.
Mirror: What is it then?
Dorkpool: Well, let’s get superglued to our beds and Riff this bitch!
START RIFF
Have you ever seen the bio-infest?
Dorkpool: (Narrator): I’ve looked everywhere, but can’t find it. Have you seen it?
It lives in most houses. It lays dormant until you are and comes out of the wall. In ancient times this thing would kill you in one sting, and it would give you immense pain.
Mirror: (Narrator): Now, it just crashes at your place for a bit, then goes on its way.
BIO-FEST
When it comes out you have a 1 in 1000 chance of getting stung.
Dorkpool: Still better odds than winning the lottery.
When it stings you, you won't notice it at first. This will look like a normal mosquito bite.
Mirror: And no one notices mosquito bites, amirite?
The next day it will start to itch like a bitch. Don't scratch it or you will make it worse, well it doesn't matter you'll still die.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): So go nuts! Do whatever you want! Cover your bitchy neighbor’s house in toilet paper! Moon your douchey boss! It doesn’t matter. You’ll be dead soon.
If you do scratch your fingers will get infected. After an hour or two you will start to see this is not a normal bite.
SYMPTOMS AND THE IRONY
Your skin will start to peel off, and if you spread it on your fingers your nails will fall off. When you call the doctor and he/she comes over he will say~ There is nothing to worry about you will be fine~.
Mirror: (Doctor): Anyway, that will be $500.
He/she knows, in fact they all know of the symptoms but won't say what is wrong. After another two hours your vision will blur and heart beat rate will increase.
Now don't fall asleep because if you do, you will wake up super glued to your bed. Yes your skin will be all sticky and feel like paste.
Dorkpool: Oh no! My skin will turn into Ctrl-V! The horror!
SYMPTOMS CONTINUED
After two more hours your weight will drastically go down, you will be able to feel your ribs against your skin. It will feel like a tight jacket that will keep getting smaller until your sticky skin finally rips (stick depending on if you fell asleep). Soon you will be nothing but bones, muscles, and organs.
Mirror: Isn’t that what you basically already are?
WHEN YOU ARE DEAD
When it had stung you it had left a chemical that would tell it if you were dead or not. Once you are dead it will nest in your organs and have 10-40 offspring.
Dorkpool: Sheesh, it should really use protection.
It will only take a day or two for it to eat all your internal organs.
AFTER YOU ARE DEAD
When it's done it will move on to your family.
Mirror: (Narrator): So, on the bright side, you in-laws will be dead too.
The offspring will peel through the skin and eat them from the inside. They will even eat the bone, then when they are done they will hibernate once
THE CONTROVERSY
After this the doctor will come back to file a report claiming that there were no owners in this house the day before.
Both: -hums the X-Files theme-
The doctor will then send it to the national health agency in the area and from there will send a note to the official government.
You and your family will soon be noted as missing. The reason for this is... Well who wants to live in a house after this?
Dorkpool: White people in a horror movie.
So watch out when you go to sleep...
Mirror: -sighs- I’ll add this to the list of things to watch out for before going to bed.
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story sucks, but it’s fun.
Mirror: The main reason for the secrecy is pretty stupid. I mean, seriously, because the house won’t be something buyers want? Why not say it was some government project that got out of hand, and take out the line about it being from ancient times? Boom. It’s now that much better. Also, this story doesn’t feel scary, yet I feel like it’s trying to be. I think that’s possibly because of the subject matter being dealt with in a smartassey sort of way. And honestly, a lot of it sounds kind of stupid. Don’t sleep, or you’ll be superglued to your bed. Ahhh. 2spoopy4me.
Dorkpool: There are some good things. The story’s short, which is nice. Despite not being good, it’s still fun. And, for the most part, the spelling and grammar are decent. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d get the Bio-Infest? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.