Sylvia: Ignore them and find other things to Riff?
Mirror: Sometimes. But other times, like today, we have Mini-Riffs!
Mirror: Right, you weren’t around for these the first few times. Basically, we Riff multiple short stories in succession, and then review them as a whole at the end.
Sylvia: Sounds like a pain.
Mirror: That’s Riffing for you! Anyway, let’s bask in the glory of red, and Riff these bitches!
“Joshua the Hedgehog versus Sonic.exe”
This is kind of a fan made Sequl to Ultimate VS Sonic.exe , so please enjoy.
Mirror: It’s the first sentence, and not only do you have a typo, but you have also mentioned “Sonic.exe.” I truly doubt I will enjoy this.
Joshua's Log: Day 1
I was at my Empire (The Jkirk Empire) reading some Creepypastas... However i noticed too much Sonic.exe Pastas.
Sylvia: Don’t you mean too many Jeff the Killer pastas?
I then decided to make a stand... However this Meta Knight person named Ultimate said he killed him.... How can that be?!
Mirror: The power of poor writing!
Demons can't be killed the first time.. Demons can only live Twice....
Sylvia: Isn’t that a Bond movie?
So i went to a Mobian City named Garn City. I explored and i saw a empty space, i bought the space and i made a little base there. I then saw a Blue Hedgehog run almost as fast as sound, he looked like Sonic... i couldn't tell what he looked like,
Mirror: Except like Sonic.
but right now i need some sleep.
I then heard news that Big the Cat has been killed, i went to his hut and investigated, i didn't find nothing but a note.
Sylvia: (Note): I O U one cat being.
WHOEVER READS THIS, THEY WILL BE KILLED AFTER MY NEXT 3 VICTIMS!
Ok that freaked me out, then i saw 2 glowing red dots in the distance, then he jumped out....
Mirror: Congratulations! You’ve just created the laziest jump scare ever!
Sonic.exe: No, i'm a little kitten that likes to be in water... YES I'M SONIC.EXE!!!!!
Joshua: Smart Ass
Sylvia: I think you mean “dumbass.”
Sonic.exe: Guess What? You're gonna die in 5 Days
Joshua: Like thats gonna happen
Sonic.exe then disappears... i got to warn my troops at my base.
INFORMATION LOST, TRYING TO RETREIVE DATA.
Mirror: Huh. Guess he died a bit sooner.
Sylvia: Green is not a creative color.
The color that shines on an apple, the color that breathes anger. The color that mixes with orange in the skies, the color that we see first in our crayon box.
Mirror: You’re just pulling these out of your ass, aren’t you?
Red seems so violent, though, you must see the better side of it, no? Red - the color that drips off our arms, the color that splatters on the floor in puddles, making a mess.
Sylvia: Depends on what splatters.
The color that screams 'pain' and 'agony',
Mirror: (Narrator): and “suck it, Blues.”
the color that slashes a knife, the color that pours out of our mouths. Yes...you see the best side of Red, don't you?
Vera R. Conley. Vera didn't like Red.
Sylvia: I wasn’t a big fan of Fire Red either.
What a shame. I decided she had to learn how great a color it was. Vera went to bed at 8 PM. I snuck under her door with a red little doll with red little clothes and red little eyes. Little streaks of red rippled in her hair, how pretty.
Mirror: Well, weird demon being, I give you kudos for consistency.
I walked to Vera and took a little red instrument, writing a little red line on her throat. Look, she's awake! Red began to pour out her mouth. Why are you struggling? Don't you like Red now, Vera? Soon, she fell back asleep. She looks so peaceful! I placed the doll next to her so she had someone to sleep with.
Sylvia: (Narrator): I also replaced her blanket with a red blanket, her sheets with red sheets, and her pillowcases with red pillowcases. RED IS THE BEST THING EVER.
(EDITOR NOTE: okay im really busy, so this is gonna be a WIP. s0ri-)
Mirror: Listen, you don’t have to finish this. It’s fine.
Mirror: These stories suck.
Sylvia: Now, it should be noted that both of these are incomplete. However, judging by what was shown, it’s pretty likely they won’t get any better. “Joshua the Hedgehog versus Sonic.exe” is pretty stupid. For one thing, it’s a sequel to a spin-off of a crappy story. For another, the spelling and grammar are awful. Seriously, capitalize your I’s. In terms of the plot, not much happens. Again, it’s not quite done (or maybe it is done. I have no idea). But the characters aren’t really introduced that well, and it’s kind of confusing. Why does this guy have an empire? Why is it the Jkirk Empire? Is it a reference to Captain Kirk? Where is he reading Creepypasta that has a lot of Sonic.exe pastas? Most of the Wikis don’t have many “Sonic.exe” stories. Why does he assume that this Ultimate guy’s story is true? Why does he decide killing Sonic.exe is the best way to get rid of his stories (or “take a stand)? Sure, after reading stories about the character, you’d want to kill him too, but still. Why is Sonic.exe a smartass? These are things you wonder while reading this. Also, it partakes is the “you’re going to die in blank days” cliché. How do people make stories about Sonic.exe that are in some ways worse than the original? You started from the bottom; how do you go lower? Now, as for "Color,” it’s just kind of run of the mill. We have a crazy killer who doesn’t realize he/she is killing someone, and also has an obsession with blood. Also, the way the narrator described red is kind of dumb. “The color that we see first in our crayon box.” Are you serious? Also, where does this person get all of this red stuff? Did he/she get a doll and dump red paint on it? Also, despite being a work in progress, this story basically seems done. Sure, it seems to have an abrupt ending, but if you ended it right here, it would’ve worked. Ish.
Mirror: These stories still have one or two good things. “Joshua the Hedgehog versus Sonic.exe” has a main character who’s tired of Sonic.exe. So, hey, somewhat relatable main character. That’s something. “Color” has decent spelling and grammar which, considering most of the stories we’ve Riffed, is nothing short of a miracle. And both of these stories, by nature of being incomplete, aren’t very long, and don’t really drag. That all being said, they still suck. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Were the stories good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d die in 5 days? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.