Mirror: Time to say goodbye?
Dorkpool: What? No. What are you even talking about?
Mirror: Theme song to Volume 2 of RWBY.
Dorkpool: -sighs- You had to make a RWBY reference. Great. Now I have to put the “Days Without a RWBY Reference From Mirror” counter to zero. Thank you for that.
Mirror: No problem! So, what time is it again?
Dorkpool: Time for some Mini-Riffs! So, let’s see what children ages 1-5 and animals can see, and Riff these bitches!
I only see in Monochrome through my white eyes,
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Don’t worry, I can still see all the colors of the rainbow. Black, varying degrees of gray, white…
everbody is sad all the time through my eyes,
i see everything that only children of age 1-5 and animals see,
Mirror: Monochrome eyes are only available for children ages 1-5 and animals. Please remember that when ordering monochrome eyes.
I see them everywhere
Im scared i wish everyone would see them !
but then i had a great idea
Dorkpool: (Narrator): The Nutella gun!
i make Mama see them my new friend her name is TwistNeck
Her Head is Backwards she twists her neck to the right side to talk to me!
Mirror: New TwistNeck action figure with neck twisting action!
She once Told me that if i remove Mothers Eye and switch it with Mine
She will be able to see TwistNeck and all my other Friends like the guy on the ceiling!
Dorkpool: (Narrator): She’ll be able to see my new friend Spider-Man!
Isnt it Great Mama ?
You will see just like i do !
Mirror: (Narrator): The way children ages 1-5 and animals do!
Dont Cry we be with you !Please dont leave us!
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Wait, what do you mean by “orphanage?”
“The Flatwoods Monster”
The pasta you are about to read is based on a true story.......
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Trust me. It’s true. I have no evidence, but since I’m the narrator, what I say goes.
In September 1952, a UFO was reported to have crashed in the forest, by some people living in Flatwoods, a small town in Braxton County, West Virginia. A 17 year old National Guardsman, Eugene "Gene" Lemon was sent to investigate this phenomenon by authorities.
Mirror: (Authorities): Let’s send a minor first, as a sacrifice.
According to some eyewitnesses, the so called "UFO" crashed in the woods, so Gene and his dog went to investigate the woods. It was 8:00 at night and very dark, so Gene brought his flashlight with him. Gene's dog ran ahead of him out of sight and began barking, then the dog returned to Gene with it's tail in between it's legs, it was frightened by something. Flatwoodsalien An old photograph of the creature.
Dorkpool: Wow, that is scary!
ElcidmanAdded by Elcidman
Mirror: Dear God, this is terrifying!
They then reached the top of a hill, where they noticed a large pulsating ball of flame, Gene and his dog also detected a pungent mist or odor in the air that made their eyes and noses burn.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Gene and his dog touched the flame, and soon more than their eyes and noses were burning.
Gene caught a glimpse of a strange creature underneath the oak tree, in the light of his flashlight. The creature was reptilian like and had a spade shaped head, stubby arms, claw like fingers, and was reportedly ten feet tall.
Mirror: (Narrator): We all know Gene was exaggerating. He always exaggerates when it comes to the height of things, as many girls he's dated can attest to.
The creature was reported to have made a shrill hissing noise and glided towards their direction, it then changed direction and headed towards the pulsating ball of flame. After this, Gene and his dog fled in panic, scared out of their wits. After this encounter, the police investigated the area in the forest where the creature and the ball of flame were reported to be, but they found no evidence of the encounter and did not even smell the burning odor that Gene and his dog had smelled.
Dorkpool: -hums “The Twilight Zone” theme-
Mirror: -hums “The X-Files” theme-
Both: -stop humming and glare at each other-
Both: -hum their respective themes louder-
Gene became very sick and suffered from vomiting and convulsions through the night, and he also had difficulties with his throat for several weeks afterward, Gene's dog also became very sick and it died.
Mirror: (Narrator): None of this is related to the monster, I just felt like sharing that.
60 years have passed since the incident, but the case of the Flatwoods Monster is still unexplained........... What was the "Flatwoods Monster" really?
Dorkpool: Swamp gas. Maybe a weather balloon.
Dorkpool: Both of these stories suck, to varying degrees.
Mirror: “Monochrome Sight” feels like it’s trying to be a poem, but failing. Also, it seems to have ADD, since it focuses on a bunch of random things. So you see things like children age 1-5 and animals, and then have a friend named TwistNeck, and then you want to switch eyes with your mom? Ummm…ok. Listen, if this poem had better spelling and grammar (yeah, the spelling and grammar is not very good), more focus, and felt more like a poem, it could’ve been good. There was potential there. As for “The Flatwoods Monster,” I can’t say the same. I don’t know if that was true, nor do I really care. To be honest, I don’t see what’s so scary. So this guy sees a weird a being, the being runs to some flaming ball of light, and then the guy runs off and dies soon after. Ok. You know, it’s never explicitly stated that the whatever-the-fuck caused his illness. Maybe if this were worded more as a story than a report, it would work better. Maybe say that Gene rarely gets sick, is pretty fit, that sort of thing. Help make it seem a bit more obvious this being is responsible for him being sick. Also, if you’re writing this story in a report sort of way, please make sure you write it in a way that doesn’t seem…odd. Yeah, the way some of the story is worded feels odd. Speaking of things one shouldn’t do in the story, please don’t randomly add photo tags or whatever. Randomly having “Flatwoods alien An old photograph of the creature” and “ElcidmanAdded by Elcidman--” makes this seem less trustworthy and like the writer didn’t proofread at all. That’s not a good thing.
Dorkpool: There are good things about both stories. “Monochrome Sight” has some potential to be pretty good, and “The Flatwoods Monster” has decent spelling and grammar. Plus, both are short so they don’t drag on for a while. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Were the stories good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d have our eyes taken out by an alien? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.