Mirror: Basically, we take a few short stories, make jokes about them consecutively, and then write a review of all of them at the end.
Dorkpool: Ready? Good. Let’s meet Amazonian Native American cannibals, and Riff this bitch!
The Title of this pasta would be pretty unusual to pronounce....But, if you just turn the word around....it will say this certain word.....Creepy.
Dorkpool: Illuminati confirmed!
YES, creepy...a word that everyone uses for certain things, such as A person, a thing, a movie
Mirror: A leafblower.
But, there is one man that defined creepy.
Dorkpool: Michael Jackson.
Ed Gein, The man who discombulated human beings, and used their bones and Skins to make everyday household items.
For an example, He carved out a woman's Genitals, to make A table.
Mirror: Please. You can get that at IKEA.
Another example, He Carved Out a Mans skull, to make a bowl,
Dorkpool: Bowlkay then.
One night, there was a southern family in living in a farm house.
Mirror: Stereotyping means that your story is off to a good start.
They were all seated down to dinner-- a mother, father, son, and daughter. The son was a 7-foot tall 20-something and resembled WWE Superstar KANE, but with hair.
Dorkpool: He’s adopted.
The father noticed his son didn't touch his dinner. He became pissed off...
"Cooper, eat your fucking dinner, goddamn it!" the dad said in an infuriated tone.
Mirror: (Dad): Eat the fresh roadkill your mother made!
"Nah, I'm good." the son said calmly.
Cooper lifted up his shirt and showed chunks of his own flesh cut away, revealing raw bloody muscle.
Both: Shamalyan twist!
The mother screamed in disgust while Cooper's father puked his guts up on the floor.
The next morning, the parents were found dead and the teen daughter had run away.
Dorkpool: This ending is still better than the ending of the Season 2 finale of "Agents of SHIELD."
"The Amazon Holocaust"
4 brave Americans went on a mission to go to the Amazon Jungle, where the majority of the population was Native American Cannibals.
Mirror: There is stupid, there is FOX News, and then there’s this sentence.
Their mission was observe and analyze the cannibals, by blending in with their tribes. But sadly, these 4 young American RESEARCHERS never came back.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): I have to emphasize that they’re RESEARCHERS.
Prior to this, a rescue team is sent to there to hopefully find the missing researchers and bring them back home with all the needed footage of this important mission.
But, what the rescuers found were quite disturbing.
Mirror: A cult dedicated to worshipping Honey Boo Boo.
After several days of trekking through the jungle, the group encounters the Yacumo tribe. They arrange release of their hostage in exchange for being taken to the Yacumo village. Once there, the group initially meets hostility, and learns that the film had caused great unrest among the people.
Dorkpool: I guess they’re not a big fan of "Native American Amazon Cannibal Killers." Weird.
The next day, Monroe and his rescue team head deeper into the rain-forest to locate two warring cannibal tribes, the YanoMamo and the Shamatari. They encounter a group of Shamatari warriors and follow them to a riverbank where they save a smaller group of Yanomamo from certain death. Grateful, the Yanomamo invite Monroe and his team back to their village, yet they treat the outsiders with suspicion. To gain their trust, Monroe bathes naked in a river.
Mirror: (Narrator): The Yanomamo never realized that something could be so small.
A group of Yanomamo women emerge to take him to a shrine where he discovers the remains of the missing American Filmmakers. Angry, Monroe confronts the Yanomamo, during which time he plays a tape recorder for them.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): The natives laugh as they listen to music on their mp3 players.
The intrigued Natives agree to trade it for the first team's surviving reels of film during a cannibalistic ceremony, in which Monroe has to take part it. He bites into a Human heart to please the natives.
Mirror: (Narrator): Well, that was the plan. Turns out that biting into a human heart is actually an insult to them.
Back in New York, executives of the Pan American Broadcast Company invite Monroe to host a broadcast of the documentary to be made from the recovered film. Monroe insists on seeing the raw footage first. They would proceed to do so.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): They were all disappointed.
"Girl Scout Murders"
In 1979, 3 girls were found dead at Mooselake Camp in Oklahoma. An autopsy concluded, that this was no accident.
Dorkpool: Or moon.
Instead, a classic case of Rape, and torture...
Alana Gregfield. 7. Andy Shirls, 8. And Danese SHEFFIELD 10.
Mirror: "Girls Gone Wild" has gotten really messed up.
The camp director, Amanda Washington was arrested for not taking action in this horrific incident, despite having no knowledge of what was happening.
Dorkpool: Our justice system, everyone!
"I had no idea"-Amanda Washington
Despite the evidence, Detectives still have no clue on who performed these heinous Actions, and Even more so...The bodies also contained different Types of D.N.A from other people, and yet no clue.
Mirror: One day, there’s going to be a bad Creepypasta story that doesn’t make the police out to be incompetent or bad.
In conclusion, These were one of the most sadistic events to ever occur in world history, and also the most mysterious in history as well. THE END
Dorkpool: Sleep tight!
Dorkpool: These stories are not very good.
Mirror: "Ypeerc" isn’t much of anything. It just says that Ed Gein is creepy, and ignores how female anatomy works. "Delicious" was confusing and made no sense. "Amazon Holocaust" is somewhat racist and incredibly stupid (There are Native American cannibals in the Amazon Jungle. What is even the hell?) "Girl Scout Murders" isn’t much of anything. None of these are scary, none of them have much characterization, and if they have a plot, it’s barely there.
Dorkpool: All of them are short, and "Delicious" has pretty good spelling and grammar. Other than that, none of them are very good. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Were the stories good? Was the Riff good? Do you want to see more of this? Do you want our heads to become bowls and eaten by cannibals? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.