Sylvia: Harry Potter?
Mirror: Yes, but not what I’m talking about.
Sylvia: Star Wars?
Mirror: Again, yes, but not what I’m referring to.
Sylvia: Attack on Titan?
Mirror: How about I just say which one I’m referring to.
Sylvia: Alright. Shoot.
Mirror: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Sylvia: You mean those CGI abominations Michael Bay created that were based on an 80s series based on a much darker comic?
Mirror: Do you know of any others?
Sylvia: Good point.
Mirror: Anyway, we’ve got a Ninja Turtles lost episode called “TMNT Lost Episode: ‘Dawn of the Dread.’”
Sylvia: That’s a helluva title.
Mirror: That it is. So, let’s ask if someone’s up yet, and Riff this bitch!
START RIFF
Has anyone heard of the alleged 'lost' Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles episode?
Mirror: Has anyone actually heard of these lost episodes actually being real?
Its name was 'Dawn of the Dread' and was one of the early season two episodes. There's no official reference to it and evidence of its existence is quite scant, but accounts that can be found seem consistent in their detail.
Sylvia: (Narrator): Everyone agrees it’s less terrifying than Michael Bay’s depiction of the turtles.
Leonardo wakes up and looks around him before getting out of bed. The picture quality is quite poor and the animation is jittery. There is no background music and the only sound you can hear is a ticking clock.
Mirror: Are we sure this isn’t the second Don’t Hug Me, I’m Scared?
Leonardo then mutters something to himself, but his voice seems muffled and it's difficult to make out what he is saying.
Suddenly, a male voice can be heard in the background, though the voice isn't recognizable and doesn't seem to belong to any of the show's regular characters; "Are you up yet," is all it says.
Sylvia: I’ve gotten that text so many times.
It is difficult to tell if Leonardo responds to the strange voice or not, but he leaves his room and heads to the living area of the lair.
The lair seems empty; neither Splinter nor the other turtle are anywhere to be found and the living area is quite messy. He finds a pizza box on the kitchen table, but upon opening it finds a very old and moldy pizza with hundreds of insect carcasses on it.
Mirror: Still less disgusting than Domino’s pizza.
At this point, Leonardo decides to leave the lair and goes looking for his coat.
The picture suddenly switches to black for about ten seconds, as if for advertisements; some say a very faint whispering can be heard if the volume is turned up high. The scene then switches back to Leonardo walking through the sewers. The picture quality is now very poor; the backgrounds look rushed in their design and don't loop properly in their repetition.
Sylvia: Why is it that lost episodes either have shit animation, or “hyper-realistic” animation?
Mirror: Shhh!
Sylvia: What?
Mirror: Dorkpool! If he hears that word, he goes nuts.
Sylvia: What? “Hyper-realistic?”
Mirror: SSSHHHHHH!
Sylvia: You do realize Dorkpool isn’t here right now, right?
Mirror: Oh. Yeah. Right.
Sylvia: For a guy who used to rule a universe, you can be kind of an idiot.
What follows is a scene with Leonardo standing and looking into a sewer stream. He is not moving and the only animation is the slow movement of the water, with what sounds like a dripping noise playing in the background.
Mirror: (Narrator): That sound was only there so you would really need to pee.
After a few seconds, Michelangelo suddenly drifts into frame; he is otherwise motionless. He just seems to be slowly drifting by, face up with his eyes wide open in a vacant stare. His tone is sickly green and his face is slightly sunken. Leonardo stoically watches Michelangelo's clearly lifeless body drift by before slowly moving on.
Sylvia: After seeing the ruined pizza, nothing phases him anymore.
Leonardo is now walking the streets. It is somewhat dark; there is no one around and none of the businesses seem to be open, with many seeming abandoned and derelict. He doesn't seem to be going anywhere, just wandering aimlessly as there is nowhere to go. He passes the channel six building; it is clearly vacant.
Mirror: So is this life after cancellation and before a reboot?
He decides to rest on a street bench and begins testing his turtle com, but there is no reply to any of his calls and he angrily thrusts the device on the ground, smashing it.
Suddenly, the unidentified male voice reiterates, "Are you up yet," to which Leonardo doesn't seem to respond, instead just sitting and staring at his broken turtle-com; "They're gone," the voice quietly utters, followed by an extremely loud tearing scream, "THEY'RE GONE! GONE! GONE,"
Sylvia: Hey, now you can have the pizza all to yourself. Oh, wait…
after which Leonardo starts cringing in wild agony, screaming in pain and furiously punching himself in the head.
Loud banging and high-pitched scraping sounds now fill the scene. Strange moving black shapes start forming around Leonardo and circling him, some appearing to rush towards him in a violent manner before suddenly disappearing, their victim too afraid to look at them.
Mirror: Pussy.
The picture goes to loud static for several minutes until it suddenly ends.
Sylvia: Now that’s a cop-out ending.
END RIFF
Mirror: This story is…eh.
Sylvia: The story engages in some lost episode clichés: crappy audio/animation, dead main characters, disturbing imagery, evil phantom voice, static, etc. Also, from a story perspective, it isn’t that scary. Then again, the description of the lost episode isn’t that scary either; mostly eerie. This episode just seems to be an abstract amalgamation of slightly disturbing imagery regarding the Ninja Turtles. There’s not all that much more that can be said.
Mirror: There are some good things. The story’s short, which is nice, and has pretty decent spelling and grammar. It’s not an over the top gorefest. However, because of all of this, it’s just a bland lost episode story. Someone really needs to add some spice to this pasta.
Sylvia: Did you really just say that?
Mirror: I did.
Sylvia: And how do you feel?
Mirror: Awful.
Sylvia: You should.
Mirror: Anyway, that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d eat pizza with insects on it? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.