"So an alternate version of you who conquered his universe randomly appeared on this ship and offered to help us fight Zorax in exchange for helping him conquer this universe, and you said yes?" the woman, named Indometus, asked.
"Yep." Dorkpool answered.
"And you didn’t think to talk with us first?"
"I had to think on my feet."
"ThAt Is A sTuPiD eXcUsE." The one in the robes, Doomsayer, said.
"Hey, if he can help us stop Zorax, then it’ll be worth it." Dorkpool said.
"So we stop one conqueror just to help another?" Indometus asked incredulously.
"Well, in all defense, he looks better than Zorax." Dorkpool joked.
No one laughed.
"Listen, I don’t plan on helping him. I’m not letting this universe be conquered by my evil twin."
"dO yOu HaVe A pLaN?"
"Er…not yet, but I’ll think of something. I’m not letting our universe get taken over by someone else."
"I still don’t like this…" Indometus muttered.
"I’m not a big fan of it either. But we need to stop Zorax, and he’s done it before. Besides, he’s also a good Riffer. At the very least, I could someone else to help with that for now. Speaking of which, I have to Riff soon." Dorkpool said.
"This discussion isn’t over," Indometus told Dorkpool.
"I know," Dorkpool replied, and left the conference room.
Dorkpool: Ever read "1999"? If you haven’t, do it. It’s awesome. It’s a prime example of how one does a "Lost Episode" story. Why am I bringing this up? Because Mirror Me-
Mirror: Good day.
Dorkpool: and I are going to Riff the knockoff version of it: "Where the Bad Kids Go."
Mirror: Didn’t someone else Riff that?
Dorkpool: Yes. And how did you know?
Mirror: I read some Riffs in my spare time. Also, the fans would be pissed if you didn’t mention it.
Dorkpool: …Ok then. Yes, Poison already Riffed it. Sorry, Poison.
Mirror: I have a Poison in my universe. She’s rather obsessed with me.
Dorkpool: That’s nice. Anyway, let’s not clean our torture chambers and Riff this bitch!
I must have been six or seven when I lived in Lebanon. The country was ravaged by war at the time, and murders were common and frequent.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Now that I think about it, not much has changed.
I remember during a particularly vicious era, when the bombings rarely stopped, I would stay at home sitting in front of my television watching a very, very strange show.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): "Uncle Grandpa."
It was a kids' show that lasted about 30 minutes and contained strange and sinister images. To this day I believe it was a thinly veiled attempt on the part of the media to use scare tactics to keep kids in place, because the moral of every episode revolved around very uptight ideologies: stuff like, "bad kids stay up late," "bad kids have their hands under the covers when they sleep," and "bad kids steal food from the fridge at night."
Mirror: You forgot "bad kids don’t worship Cthulu", "bad kids watch weird and depraved pornography", and "bad kids write Jeff the Killer/Slender Man slash fiction."
It was very weird, and in Arabic to top it off. I didn't understand much of it, but for the most part the images were very graphic and comprehensive. The thing that stuck with me the most, however, was the closing scene. It remained much the same in every episode.
Mirror: (Narrator): A censored picture of a naked woman.
The camera would zoom in on an old, rusted, closed door. As it got closer to the door, strange and sometimes even agonizing screams would become more audible. It was extremely frightening, especially for children's programming.
Dorkpool: It can’t be worse than "Courage the Cowardly Dog."
Then a text would appear on the screen in Arabic reading: "That's where bad kids go."
Dorkpool: Is there any Wi-Fi where the bad kids go?
Eventually both the image and the sound would fade out, and that would be the end of the episode.
About 15 or 16 years later I became a journalistic photographer. That show had been in my mind all my life, popping up in my thoughts sporadically.
Mirror: (Narrator): It was really awkward when it popped in my head when I was in the sack.
Eventually I'd had enough, and decided to do some research. I finally managed to uncover the location of the studio where much of that channel's programming had been recorded. Upon further research and eventually traveling on site, I found out it was now desolate and had been abandoned after the big war ended.
Dorkpool: Not just any war, but the Big War.
I entered the building with my camera. It was burnt out from the inside. Either a fire had broken out or someone had wanted to incinerate all of the wooden furniture.
Dorkpool: (Person who burnt the building): No one must know I bought furniture from Ashley’s furniture.
After few hours of cautiously making my way into the studio and snapping pictures, I found an isolated out-of-the-way room. After having to break through a few old locks and managing to break the heavy door open, I remained frozen in the doorway for several long minutes. Traces of blood, feces, and tiny bone fragments lay scattered across the floor.
Mirror: They didn’t clean the torture chamber? Ugh, I hate it when people don’t do that. I’m fine torturing people, but at least keep them in a clean place.
It was a small room, and an extremely morbid scene.
What truly frightened me, though, what made me turn away and never want to come back, was the bolted, caged microphone hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the room...
Dorkpool: Apparently they wanted to know what the kids who were about to die thought about the Big War.
Dorkpool: This story is basically a knockoff of "1999." However, it’s not a bad knockoff. It’s actually pretty good. It has good spelling and grammar, a dark concept, and a rather dark ending. There’s really not much to say on my end except that it’s good. You, Mirror Me?
Mirror: Not really.
Dorkpool: Alrighty then. So, what do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish Mirror Me and I would go where the bad kids go? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Some time later…
Dorkpool, Indometus, and Doomsayer met back in the conference room again.
"I know you guys don’t trust him. That’s why he’s presently confined to his quarters for the most part, and under surveillance." Dorkpool told the two.
"You gave him quarters?" Indometus asked.
"Well, yeah. We needed a confined area to keep him, and I didn’t want to keep him in the prison. It sends the wrong message, and he’s closer to El Catrin. If he’s working for Zorax, we don’t want him near Mr. Catrin."
"I still don’t trust him," Indometus said.
"nEiThEr Do I," Doomsayer said.
"I know, I know. And if he tries betraying us, I’ll take care of it."
"I’ll kill him."