Mirror: Why? Because of the betrayal implied by El Catrin?
Dorkpool: What? No. That I can handle. I just need to do something besides Riffing bad stories. It’s just kind of a pain.
Mirror: Oh. So the betrayal thing…?
Dorkpool: Will be addressed next time. Until then, let’s look at this denizen of the Creepypasta Land Wiki, and Riff this bitch!
Many people have heard tales of Jack the ripper and who he is
Dorkpool: According to “Star Trek”, he’s some energy being called Redjac.
... but this Ripper is nothing you may think of compared to what this ripper is apart of. Known for work for one of the legendary monsters in the world
Mirror: (Narrator): Donald Trump
... Slender Man... besides the operator symbol on the bottom right corner of a photograph of my sister being attacked & assaulted by this ripper... normally Jack the ripper lives in London as either hallucinations or a spirit or a mock artist
Dorkpool: Or, you know, some energy thing that possesses people.
... but this is not the same ripper... cause you see This Ripper appears to have 2 personas... maybe it has to do with feelings and mental connections with those who are harmed or abused or even innocent souls murdered
Mirror: (Narrator): Maybe it’s bad writing.
Dorkpool: Maybe it’s Maybelline.
... My Name is Miranda...
Dorkpool: Hello, self-insertion character.
well to tell you the truth my life was not an easy one... considering my mother and father totally ditched us and we try to take care of each other through our uncle...
My life was pretty much normal until one day I met some unusual man with metal parts on his face...
Mirror: (Miranda): He told me they were called “glasses.”
You want to know how this happened
Dorkpool: Not especially, no.
well I was on my way home from school... when I was attacked by some thugs asking me for money and to strip naked for some unknown stupid reasons...
I heard a strange voice from the shadows as the thugs tried to well rape me if you want to call it that...
Mirror: What else would you call it?
Let her go... The Thugs turned around and saw someone they didn't see coming
Mirror: They saw someone they didn’t see coming?
Mirror: …that is incredibly stupid.
The Man with metal parts on his face appeared in view and in his hand he had a Long blade with a skull engraving... The Thugs attacked him but as a result... he sliced them to bits...
Mirror: Didn’t Jack the Ripper kill people with a knife?
Dorkpool: I believe so.
Dorkpool: Don’t question the stupidity.
Afterwards he flicked his blade towards a wall to remove the bloodstains on the sword... which then he untied me...
Mirror: Ok, apparently the thugs were into bondage.
and I heard him speak...
Dorkpool: (Miranda): He sounded like Fran Drescher.
Mirror: Would she stop with the ellipses?
Dorkpool: Oh, you’re so naïve in the ways of bad writing.
He handed me a jacket from the fool that tried to kill him ad told me to put it on to cover the tares
Dorkpool: Wow, the spelling is TAREible? Get it?
Mirror: Shut up.
on the shirt...
Miranda: Thanks for Saving me
You know where you going ms.? what is your name?
Dorkpool: (Miranda): They call me Mr. Tibbs.
I told him my name was Miranda and I knew where i was heading. so in a nice manner I asked him who he was... and this name would haunt me for days when said it...
Mirror: (Nightlock): Tim Curry.
panicking at first He took me back to my home and disappeared into the bushes
Later in the evening I was attacked by my sister who is named Maria... and believe me was abusive as ever...
Mirror: Did she make her read this story?
Dorkpool: No one is that cruel.
Yet I didn't notice that Nightlock was hiding in the shadows of my closet observing me being beaten to bloody pulp... after that she disappeared and Nightlock teleported from the closet... I was rushed to the hospital by my uncle due to my scars...
Mirror: Wow, Nightlock, that was useful.
Meanwhile Maria was hanging out in the area known as 7th street...
She didn't notice that she was being followed... so she starts running but soon realized that she runs into a dead end in an alleyway. Her heart is pounding ferociously. The first it hit her she didn't see it coming... She was pinned to a wall and saw two dark... Things...
Mirror: (Narrator): Really phallic things.
Maria: gah what is this? who are you?
Dorkpool: (Person): I AM A MAN! –punch-
before she could get an answer she was then assaulted by being with the red visor...
when he ripped her clothes off the blood from her wound dripped on to his hand... he wrote on her Breasts the Names of Shadows you will be fucked by and when i say fucked I Mean unspeakable torment such as Both Rape and Murder... The Names on Her Breasts Read: Darklock & Shadow Rose...
Mirror: Seems like Cyclops really is an asshole.
Maria: stop this please you dam dirty freak!
Darklock: I see shock and fear in your eyes.
Dorkpool: (Darklock): I can it through my visor.
I am not called that...
Maria: Who Are you?
Then The Figure said it... I am the thing you fear in your sleep... I am the Ripper... Then Her Fear intensified when his visor opened to reveal 2 glowing red eyes... gray skin on his face with a cyborg jaw with human teeth and then he said this to her: Or If you Like... Jack The Knife...
Dorkpool: Ladies and gentlemen, we have the Worst Name For A Jeff Knockoff Ever!
Then Darklock told his girl to snap the evidence from the Polaroid camera those cameras that take certain type of film that are in the shape of a square....
Mirror: So a normal Polaroid camera?
Maria turns towards the girl...
Maria: Help Me?!
Dorkpool: (Maria): I don’t want to die?!
But instead Shadow Rose Takes off the Mask and Her Fear went from bad to worst
Mirror: (Narrator): Behind the mask was…JIM CARREY!
Shadow Rose: I am not God... I am Hell itself... Shadow Rose... I am letting my boyfriend Handle you in his ripper ways....
Mirror: Hell itself is feeling kind of lazy today.
Darklock: Prepare to have your worst nightmare...
Maria: No... NO!
Dorkpool: (Maria): I don’t want to go to high school in my underwear!
then Darklock "The Ripper" had his way the victim...
Mirror: (Narrator): The victim ellispsed.
3 days later...
I was in the hospital when the Nurse gave me some gifts I was excited at first but soon as i got to the card this was the thing that made my blood run cold.
Dorkpool: (Miranda): A miniature Blood Chiller 3000!
It was Card that said get well soon... on it but when I opened it there was a photograph with two masked figures on had marking while the other was glowing red... and under it was the title... The Ripper Proxy Has Taken his Latest Victim...
Dorkpool: Screw you, it’s Redjac.
and beside this headline there were pictures that made me either mentally disgusted or confused... One was a picture of my sister being raped by The mysterious Red Masked Figure
Mirror: Deadpool’s gone too far.
... it was certainly terrifying yet shocking to look at since these pictures have sexual scenes yet very difficult to explain but I'll try one was her sucking the figure's dick... Uck! then total rape... ... then under those was a sheet with lyrics in some odd sense its related to the infamous killer known as Jack the Ripper
Dorkpool: Was it that rap battle betwixt Jack the Ripper and Hannibal Lecter?
but its last line was altered abit: Don't Turn Your Back on The Ripper or he will have his way Or if you like... Darklock
And below this was a note from Nightlock apparently I realized beside it was the Name Darklock...
Mirror: Darklock: a name trying hard to be badass, but actually sounds kind of cliché.
Miranda, You may not know this... but I have the darkest secret that you now know through these things i sent with the get well soon card. I am a proxy to Slender Man
Both: Since when?
but that is not the important case when it comes to my Darker Side... Good thing it was not you in that alley way cause you would have shared the same fate if it wasn't for my watchful eye... I may be A Ripper but at least you still have a friend
Dorkpool: Wait, someone can stand her? Well, there went my suspension of disbelief.
... Though trust me don't be like her or you will end up like her... I cut her once, I cut her twice, Your Bitch was my Midnight Sacrifice... She Shamed You, She Shamed God, She Screamed My name and then she was gone...
Nightlock/Darklock "Jack The Ripper"
To this day I still think if Nightlock really is human but still no avail... I don't think I want to know what his Origins are like...
Mirror: That’s exactly what I said after “X-Men Origins: Wolverine.”
I noticed the Name that left me puzzling On My Sister's Left Boob... It said... Shadow Rose Miranda: Who is Shadow Rose?
Dorkpool: The world may never know.
Then I Saw below the note I felt dread.... PS, Shadow Rose is the Girlfriend to My Darkness.... She is Black rose when she isn't like that... She is friends with me but when I am In My Blackened State... we date... Luckly We are Not interested in Killing you.... For Now...?
Mirror: (Note): We might kill you…later…?
Also note She was the one who had the nurse drop off the gifts...
Miranda: Thanks Nightlock...
Dorkpool: (Miranda): Thanks for raping and killing my sister, then threatening me. You’re a good guy.
I felt better for 3 seconds but still shocked by this... I dunno if I will get rid of the fact that My life was turned upside down by 2 dark mysterious... Proxies...
Mirror: “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Slender Man Edition.”
Mirror: What even was that story?
Dorkpool: Stupid, confusing, poorly written.
Mirror: Oh, yeah.
Dorkpool: But let’s be a bit more specific, shall we?
Mirror: The spelling and grammar are incomprehensible, and it makes it hard to understand what’s going on.
Dorkpool: Slender Man was mentioned because…I don’t know. He’s just there because the writer likes the character. Speaking of characters, none of them are well developed or really interesting.
Mirror: The plot is weird and confusing, though that might be due to the previously mentioned abysmal spelling and grammar. Also, this character is obviously self-insertion on part of the author. How original.
Dorkpool: So, all in all, this story really sucks. At least according to the Dorkpools. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d be raped and killed? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.