Mirror: Let’s see…there’s a whole bunch of Jeff wannabe stories –
Dorkpool: We just went through a whole bunch of stuff related to Jeff. Let’s try something that we don’t Riff very often.
Mirror: What do you have in mind?
Dorkpool: Well, let’s fight names and Riff this bitch to find out.
Has Anyone Seen That Sonic Plush Show, The One On Cartoon Network?
Dorkpool: Has anyone seen this author’s shift key? He needs it taken away from him.
No? Well It Had Low Raitings So Not Many People Watched It. The Series Involved Plush Versions Of Sonic And His Friends Doing Things But Getting Into Mishaps In The Process, I'd Say It Was Thirty Minutes Long, About Half An Hour.
Mirror: (Narrator): Maybe two quarters of an hour, or 1,800 seconds.
Mummy Wants To Play
Well, Let's Start Of With MY Experince.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): It involved a houseplant, a diving helmet, and enough alcohol to drown Tony Stark.
The Episode Started Off With Sonic And All His Friend Were Talking To Each Other. Two Pair Of Giant Feet Stepped Down, I Was Exepecting A Giant, But I Was Much Wrong.
Mirror: Wow. Much wrong. Very incorrect. So Sonic.
The Giant Grabbed Them All Then Whispered "Mummy Wants To Play" Then Threw Them Onto His Bead. He Began Punching Them All For A While. Suddenly, Blood Came Out Of Them, Onto The Bed He Yelled Before Grabbing A Baseballbal At Whacking Them With It.
Dorkpool: Well, at least he didn’t try whacking them with a baseball bat.
The Episode Ended, I Was Clueless As To What Had Just Happened.
This One Is Not Mine, This Was Found In A Missing Girl's Diary After Watching A Certain Episode.
Dear Diary, January 10th 2015,
Mirror: (Girl): That bitch Regina just stole my part in the talent show.
Safe To Stay I Can Sometimes Still Watch Kids Shows But Not All The Time. I Was Watching An Episode Of The Sonic Plush Show. The Episode Was Titled Bloody Human, It Was A Strange Name But I Fought Nothing Of It.
Dorkpool: Well good. Don’t fight names.
It Started Like Any Other Episode, Sonic Was Being Stupid, Tails Was Working On Something, Knuckles Was Punching A Punching Bag,
Mirror: (Girl): People with odd kinks and too much time on their hands were drawing naughty pictures of them…
Etc. They Looked Like They Had Been Violently Beaten By Something. They All Stopped What They Were Doing And Walker Out Of The House. After Minutes Of Endless Walking, It Came To A Stop. They Were At A Bad And A Man (Or Boy) Was Sleeping.
Dorkpool: I think the English language is getting more beat up in this story than any plush toys.
"Let's Get Him Back" Sonic Whispered They All Nodded At Sonic. Sonic And His Friends Were Dragging Him Out Of His Bed While Holding Weapons, After They Had Done It, They Started To Violently Beat Him.
Mirror: (Sonic): That’s for not knowing how to spell “really!”
Dorkpool: (Tails): Uh, Sonic?
Mirror: (Sonic): That’s for using “hyper-realistic!”
Dorkpool: (Tails): Sonic?
Mirror: (Sonic): That’s for thinking your crap-tastic stories are awesome!
Dorkpool: (Tails): Sonic! That’s not JC the Hyena.
Mirror: (Sonic): It isn’t?
Dorkpool: (Tails): Nope.
Mirror: (Sonic): Oh. Don’t I feel silly. Sorry, person!
He Woke Up And Started To Yell At Them, Wondering How They Had Survived Him. They Continued Beating Him Until He Stopped Breathing. Everyone Accept Sonic, Fell Onto The Floor. There Souls Where Free, But Sonic Still Had A Purpose. It Cut To A Shot Of Feet Walking Down The Stairs And Exiting The Door. It Came To A Point Of A Door, My Door And It Opened. At That Point I Heard My Front Door Open...It....It Was Real.
Dorkpool: (Girl): Which is why I’m still writing in this journal instead of running away.
I Quickly Ran To My Bedroom Door And Locked It. I Was Safe In My Room And I've Continued Writing Until Mom And Dad Get Home. I Could Hear Someone Walking Up The Stairs, My Heart Started Racing At That Point. The Picture On My Tv Came Back, It Was Focusing On My Bedroom Door. Then, At The Slightest Unexpected Moment, It Opened. It Showed Me Looking As I Wrote, Which It's In My Room As I Write This.
Mirror: You’re on Crappy Camera!
I Heard A Faint Whisper "Mummy Wants To Play". Oh Fuck....
Dorkpool: (Girl): I left the stove on.
As Far As I Can Tell The Person Who Created This Show Uses People Who Watch It As His Victims,
Dorkpool: The power of stupid.
I Have A Gun In My House Just In Case It Was To Come Because I Fear It's Coming For Me Next. I Will Update You All On It Soon, Until Then Yellow Researcher Out.
Dorkpool: Some people live in a yellow submarine. Others laugh at a Yellow Researcher.
Dorkpool: This story sucks.
Mirror: The spelling and grammar aren’t very good, since the author decided to capitalize every single word. The plot feels a bit like it was recycled from “1999”: a person uses a show to get victims and shows some disturbing things on it. But where “1999” was well-written, subtle, and somewhat scary, this is poorly-written, in your face obvious, and not at all scary. The part where there’s a journal entry written by someone else doesn’t quite work because it’s obviously written by the same person. A piece of advice: if you want to write a part of your story that seems to be written by someone else, write in a style unique to that person. Have them use different phrases, have a different vocabulary, that sort of thing. Speaking of different characters and unique voices, there are none here. Absolutely no characterization is on display. Honestly, if the author hadn’t said that the part from the girl was written by someone else, I would’ve had no idea that it was supposed to be from someone else. Also, what was the point of having Sonic here? You could’ve made up most any characters, and it would’ve worked the same. The fact that the show is about Sonic adds nothing to the story. And what does “Mummy wants to play” mean here? I know it’s supposed to sound scary, but it honestly isn’t.
Dorkpool: There are good things. The story isn’t very long, which, after “Lil’ Miss Rarity,” is a blessing. And compared to other Sonic-based stories that have been on here, it’s not that bad. It still sucks though. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish there’s be a show that could kill us? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.