Dorkpool: Some time ago, we Riffed a story called “Life of a Proxy.” As it turns out, that was the first part of the story.
Mirror: So this would be the second part?
Dorkpool: Yep. And you know what that means?
PREVIOUSLY ON “CREEPYPASTA RIFFS”
(Bridge of the Cheese Doodle)
Dorkpool: Mr. Worf, dispatch a subspace message to Admiral Hanson. We have engaged…the Borg.
Mirror: Ok, but there’s no Worf here.
Dorkpool: Fine. You do it then.
(Scene of the Cheese Doodle attacking the Borg ship with phasers)
(Turbolift)
Indo: All you know is how to play it safe. If you can’t learn to make the big decisions, then I suggest you find someone who can.
(Scene of a Borg appearing on the Cheese Doodle bridge)
Mirror: -runs at the Borg- I got it! –gets punched by the Borg, and flies through the air out of frame- I regret nothing!
Dorkpool: -getting taken prisoner by the Borg- You better have Wi-Fi and comics on your cube.
(Engine Room)
Indo: If we can generate a concentrated burst of power, that same frequency distribution...
Mirror: Umm…what?
Indo: If we use the powers of technobabble and the main deflector dish.
Mirror: Oh. Ok. Go for it.
(Viewscreen of the Cheese Doodle)
Dorkpool: I am Dorkutus of Borg. From this time forward, you will service…us.
(Bridge of the Cheese Doodle)
Dramatic pause
Mirror: Indo…fire!
AND NOW THE CONCLUSION. OR RATHER PART 2, SINCE THIS STORY HAS MULTIPLE PARTS.
Mirror: I have no recollection of any of that ever happening.
Dorkpool: Whatever. Anyway, let’s complain about our coworkers and Riff this bitch!
START RIFF
I just want to be hidden from the rest of the world. Is that too much to ask, just this one little thing?
Dorkpool: Yes.
That's why I where this mask, so nobody will ever see or even know who I am. "Masky" they call me, hmmm, seems like a pretty attractive name to be given to a guy like me.
Mirror: (Masky): Then again, I’m a pretty attractive guy. Ladies.
There's so many things you should know about when talking about a guy like me. A guy like me, so full of himself, always thinks he's the leader (or wants to be and does what he can to be, things like that though, usually involves mutilation). A guy like me, working with a guy like, Toby.
Dorkpool: (Masky): I mean, seriously, Toby? He’s, like, such a slut.
Haha, oh Toby, always twitching and ticking when you talk, always going on about how you killed your father, always taking my fucking job.
Mirror: (Masky): Those damn Tobys are stealing our jobs! We need to build a fence to keep them out!
God damn, it really makes me angry when the Slender Man chooses him instead of me. "Kill them," he says, "rip them apart," he says, "slit their throats," he says. Funny, the only throat I want to slit right now is Toby's. But, our dear old master the Slender Man forbids it.
Dorkpool: (Masky): Time to slit his throat!
If the Slender Man never have chosen him to be a proxy, he would have already been dead by now.
The thing that haunts me about these jobs, is my temptations. Even when the Slender Man doesn't give us any jobs to kill anyone, I always have that itchy feeling to just murder. I'm so tempted to kill Toby whenever I see him. I'm so tempted to gouge the eyes out of all the people who have wronged me (then again why wouldn't I? People are assholes you know).
Mirror: Well, you’re not wrong.
There was this one night where I came across a man in the woods who didn't have eyes to begin with. He tried to beat me down to the ground and bite into my stomach, I stabbed him in the shoulder and he ran away, an interesting guy he was.
Dorkpool: (Masky): He was also kind of funny, since he ran into a tree.
Now, back to what I was saying about people being assholes. Don't you just wish you could make the pain go away by hurting the ones who've caused it? A lot of these jobs I get sent on involve me murdering those people, and it makes me feel, at peace, and it also gives me joy. Oh, hey what do you know, go figure, a tall man sends three mentally deranged people (I find myself perfectly normal, just cleansing the planet is all),
Mirror: Yes, a guy wearing a mask and killing people is totally normal.
Dorkpool: -whistles inconspicuously-
to kill the scum of the world. There's also a couple innocent lives in the way as well... just for that feeling of relief. For a person in my mental state of mind, who wouldn't find joy in that?
Dorkpool: Yes, all normal people find joy in killing.
I always love the reactions I get when people see my face. They say something like, "Hello... who are you, what do you want?"
Mirror: (Masky): Hi, I’m here to talk to you about Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
I'm just standing there and thinking to myself, "Oh, it's just me, Masky, no big deal, hahaha."
Dorkpool: (Masky): Yeah, I’m not that big of a deal at all. Just kind of a second-stringer, actually.
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story is eh.
Mirror: Masky sure does like to complain. Seriously, Thea Queen from season two of Arrow is looking at Masky and saying, “Dude, stop your whining.” Seriously, most of this story is Masky complaining. Also, there are some parts that aren’t necessary. For example, the eyeless guy didn’t need to be mentioned. Well, unless he’s going to be in future installments. If not, then he really had no business being here. Masky also has a Jeff the Killer like urge to kill. You know, the whole “temptation” or “feeling” that isn’t really explained. Well, it actually wasn’t in Jeff’s case, but here it makes sense. Masky works for Slendy as a killer, so having him be a killer, and like it, means that Masky won’t try to break away from Slender Man or something. That being said, I wish all teenage Creepypasta based serial killers didn’t feel an “urge” to kill. It gets rather cliché after a point.
Dorkpool: There are some good things. This story has a lot of character, since this story literally is a character piece. Sure, the character can be kind of annoying, but there is character. It’s also short, which is nice. While there is character, the character is unpleasant, and I personally don’t like reading about someone I don’t like. The spelling and grammar is pretty good, with only one or two grammatical errors. This story isn’t bad, but it’s not very good either. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d be cleansed by Masky? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Mirror: So this would be the second part?
Dorkpool: Yep. And you know what that means?
PREVIOUSLY ON “CREEPYPASTA RIFFS”
(Bridge of the Cheese Doodle)
Dorkpool: Mr. Worf, dispatch a subspace message to Admiral Hanson. We have engaged…the Borg.
Mirror: Ok, but there’s no Worf here.
Dorkpool: Fine. You do it then.
(Scene of the Cheese Doodle attacking the Borg ship with phasers)
(Turbolift)
Indo: All you know is how to play it safe. If you can’t learn to make the big decisions, then I suggest you find someone who can.
(Scene of a Borg appearing on the Cheese Doodle bridge)
Mirror: -runs at the Borg- I got it! –gets punched by the Borg, and flies through the air out of frame- I regret nothing!
Dorkpool: -getting taken prisoner by the Borg- You better have Wi-Fi and comics on your cube.
(Engine Room)
Indo: If we can generate a concentrated burst of power, that same frequency distribution...
Mirror: Umm…what?
Indo: If we use the powers of technobabble and the main deflector dish.
Mirror: Oh. Ok. Go for it.
(Viewscreen of the Cheese Doodle)
Dorkpool: I am Dorkutus of Borg. From this time forward, you will service…us.
(Bridge of the Cheese Doodle)
Dramatic pause
Mirror: Indo…fire!
AND NOW THE CONCLUSION. OR RATHER PART 2, SINCE THIS STORY HAS MULTIPLE PARTS.
Mirror: I have no recollection of any of that ever happening.
Dorkpool: Whatever. Anyway, let’s complain about our coworkers and Riff this bitch!
START RIFF
I just want to be hidden from the rest of the world. Is that too much to ask, just this one little thing?
Dorkpool: Yes.
That's why I where this mask, so nobody will ever see or even know who I am. "Masky" they call me, hmmm, seems like a pretty attractive name to be given to a guy like me.
Mirror: (Masky): Then again, I’m a pretty attractive guy. Ladies.
There's so many things you should know about when talking about a guy like me. A guy like me, so full of himself, always thinks he's the leader (or wants to be and does what he can to be, things like that though, usually involves mutilation). A guy like me, working with a guy like, Toby.
Dorkpool: (Masky): I mean, seriously, Toby? He’s, like, such a slut.
Haha, oh Toby, always twitching and ticking when you talk, always going on about how you killed your father, always taking my fucking job.
Mirror: (Masky): Those damn Tobys are stealing our jobs! We need to build a fence to keep them out!
God damn, it really makes me angry when the Slender Man chooses him instead of me. "Kill them," he says, "rip them apart," he says, "slit their throats," he says. Funny, the only throat I want to slit right now is Toby's. But, our dear old master the Slender Man forbids it.
Dorkpool: (Masky): Time to slit his throat!
If the Slender Man never have chosen him to be a proxy, he would have already been dead by now.
The thing that haunts me about these jobs, is my temptations. Even when the Slender Man doesn't give us any jobs to kill anyone, I always have that itchy feeling to just murder. I'm so tempted to kill Toby whenever I see him. I'm so tempted to gouge the eyes out of all the people who have wronged me (then again why wouldn't I? People are assholes you know).
Mirror: Well, you’re not wrong.
There was this one night where I came across a man in the woods who didn't have eyes to begin with. He tried to beat me down to the ground and bite into my stomach, I stabbed him in the shoulder and he ran away, an interesting guy he was.
Dorkpool: (Masky): He was also kind of funny, since he ran into a tree.
Now, back to what I was saying about people being assholes. Don't you just wish you could make the pain go away by hurting the ones who've caused it? A lot of these jobs I get sent on involve me murdering those people, and it makes me feel, at peace, and it also gives me joy. Oh, hey what do you know, go figure, a tall man sends three mentally deranged people (I find myself perfectly normal, just cleansing the planet is all),
Mirror: Yes, a guy wearing a mask and killing people is totally normal.
Dorkpool: -whistles inconspicuously-
to kill the scum of the world. There's also a couple innocent lives in the way as well... just for that feeling of relief. For a person in my mental state of mind, who wouldn't find joy in that?
Dorkpool: Yes, all normal people find joy in killing.
I always love the reactions I get when people see my face. They say something like, "Hello... who are you, what do you want?"
Mirror: (Masky): Hi, I’m here to talk to you about Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
I'm just standing there and thinking to myself, "Oh, it's just me, Masky, no big deal, hahaha."
Dorkpool: (Masky): Yeah, I’m not that big of a deal at all. Just kind of a second-stringer, actually.
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story is eh.
Mirror: Masky sure does like to complain. Seriously, Thea Queen from season two of Arrow is looking at Masky and saying, “Dude, stop your whining.” Seriously, most of this story is Masky complaining. Also, there are some parts that aren’t necessary. For example, the eyeless guy didn’t need to be mentioned. Well, unless he’s going to be in future installments. If not, then he really had no business being here. Masky also has a Jeff the Killer like urge to kill. You know, the whole “temptation” or “feeling” that isn’t really explained. Well, it actually wasn’t in Jeff’s case, but here it makes sense. Masky works for Slendy as a killer, so having him be a killer, and like it, means that Masky won’t try to break away from Slender Man or something. That being said, I wish all teenage Creepypasta based serial killers didn’t feel an “urge” to kill. It gets rather cliché after a point.
Dorkpool: There are some good things. This story has a lot of character, since this story literally is a character piece. Sure, the character can be kind of annoying, but there is character. It’s also short, which is nice. While there is character, the character is unpleasant, and I personally don’t like reading about someone I don’t like. The spelling and grammar is pretty good, with only one or two grammatical errors. This story isn’t bad, but it’s not very good either. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d be cleansed by Masky? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.