Mirror: Sylvia, you’re a musician, right?
Sylvia: Kind of. I play the sax. I also used to be part of a blues band.
Mirror: What happened to the band?
Sylvia: It broke up after we got some success and lost the spirit of the blues. Why do you ask?
Mirror: Because today’s story, “The Hanging of a Singer,” has to do with music. Also, I was curious. Seriously, I don’t know all that much about you.
Sylvia: Good.
Mirror: …anyway, let’s make special appearances and Riff this bitch.
START RIFF
Jeremy Diamond:
Mirror: No relation to Neil.
Born:April 2nd, 1997
Found dead at: 9:00 pm, May 9th, 2014
Reason: Hung
Sylvia: Like a horse.
Well, if you read the top part of the story, that gives you the info. Many of you, may be asking who Jeremy Diamond is? Well, allow me to introduce myself, I'm Lora, one of Jeremy's old friends.
Mirror: You still didn’t answer the question I didn’t ask.
The reason why I am posting this, is because I think he's trying to kill me. You might be confused, but... I have proof!
Sylvia: (Lora): I have a glove that fits his hand! He must be guilty!
You see, a few days after his death, things started acting up around my house, things are opening on their own, some things started disappearing, and my friends kept saying that 'he was coming'
Mirror: (Lora): A portal to Hell opened up in my kitchen, a demonic being took my dog to the underworld, that sort of thing.
I don't really get it, but it's scaring me. Well, first off, just so you guys know about Jeremy, he was a great 16 year old boy, always smiling, he would never hurt anything, he always stood up for people. But allow me to take you back to the days when it all started.
Both: -flaskback noises-
-Story Start-
-May 8, 10:00am-
I woke up one morning, like usual, and I had to get ready for a group outing with some of my friends. Because, we were all famous band in the town of Plymouth, always singing and having fun while doing it.
Sylvia: (Lora): We also did a lot of drugs. Like, Ozzy Osbourne level drug use. It was awesome.
We had a drummer, a guitarist, and two singers, one of them was me, and the other... was Jeremy. Jeremy was well known, and was called the 'Phantom Singer' because he always made special appearances when he gets on stage to sing,
Mirror: (Lora): Sometimes in the nude.
his acts sometimes surprised me, and made me happy. But today, Jeremy said he had something special to say to us, so of course, I was excited, and immediately rushed down to the stage, which was located five miles from my house.
As soon as I got to the stage, Jeremy was standing there with the rest of my group, smiling like always, he seemed extra excited about something. So I rushed up to him and he looked at me with his hazel eyes.
Sylvia: (Lora): The hazel eyes he was holding in his hand, that is. He just wanted to tell us he stole someone’s eyes.
"What did you want to tell us!?" I asked, really wanting to know. Jeremy smiled widely and my eyes widened, I realized, just from that smile, that he bought that better stage downtown.
Mirror: I had no ideas smiles were a language unto themselves.
Sylvia: Well, duh. Watch. –smiles-
Mirror: You want to devour the souls of the innocent and birth the Antichrist?
Sylvia: …wow, you suck at reading smiles.
He nodded as if he read my mind, and we all hugged him. Nobody realized how much Jeremy and the rest of us wanted that stage, it had better lighting, curtains, and much more.
Sylvia: (Lora): Booze!
"Yeah, I bought it for cheap, so lets go check it out.." Jeremy smiled. We all nodded and walked our way down to the stage, which was located a mile from our old one. As soon as we got to the stage, we admired it, it was perfect, nice wooding, perfect lights, everything was just fine. I was shocked that Jeremy bought it for cheap, it was unique apparently, because nobody would give a stage this nice for cheap, but yet again, who wouldn't want to give a famous singer like Jeremy a stage for cheap.
Mirror: Someone looking to make a profit from a famous person.
I walked over to Jeremy who was getting props out of boxes, which surprised me, because he must've already brought them here before we walked over here. I started helping Jeremy with the props, just as always, and set them all up.
"Okay, I also got some more news." Jeremy said, cleaning his hands. We all gathered around him, wondering what could be as great as this.
Sylvia: (Jeremy): I replaced all your instruments with kazoos!
"I also made us have a concert here tomorrow, so we are booked! I signed us in, and my parents should be putting posters up right now." Jeremy told us. We all cheered for joy, we had all got a concert to sing tomorrow, this could be the best one yet! So of course, as time went on that night, we made sure everything worked on the stage, and after we finished checking, we decided to go home and rest, we had a great day ahead of us, and boy was I excited. But I had no idea... it would end, the way it did,
Mirror: With an excess of commas?
as I slept that night, I kept dreaming about the concert, not knowing what was going to happen the next day.
-May 9th, 6:00pm-
That night, I looked through the curtains, and noticed the huge group of people who had arrived, just to see us. I was excited, but something wasn't right, and my band noticed, Jeremy was not here yet. Jeremy was never late, like.. the only time he was, was when he was surrounded by girls, but if anything, this time he was 30 minutes late.
Sylvia: (Lora): And 30 minutes? Come on, we all know Jeremy doesn’t last that long.
"That's it, I'm going to go and try to find him!" Chris, our drummer said. I shook my head and kept my eyes on the entrance to the backstage. I kept on getting more and more panicked as time went by, almost to the point where I thought he wasn't going to show up. But then, before I was going to go out and search,
Mirror: (Chris): Oh, so I can’t search but you can? I see how it is.
the door slammed open, and Jeremy busted inside, shutting the door fast behind him, as if in a panic.
"There you are! Come on, it's time for us to sing." I told him. Jeremy didn't respond, he didn't even blink, he was breathing hard as if he was scared. I looked closer at him, and noticed cut marks and bruises.
"Jeremy, are you-" I started.
"I'm fine... let's just go and sing." Jeremy said really fast.
Sylvia: Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Mirror: He was at an extreme jousting session?
Sylvia: So not what I’m thinking.
I didn't know what to say, I just shrugged and we went out to sing, it was great, we sang our hearts out, with no problems at all. After we sang, Jeremy told us he was going to go to the bathroom, and told us to talk to the crowd in the meantime, like answer questions and things, and he also told us, if he wasn't back in twenty minutes, to continue the concert.
Mirror: Yes, continue the concert without the band’s lead singer. You aren’t very bright, are you, Jeremy?
As much as I hated to go with that plan, I did, after twenty minutes of him not returning, so we went in front of the stage to sing, and we had to pull the curtains, for the background to be shown. Little did I suspect that, it would go wrong.
Sylvia: (Lora): None of us could sing.
As I told the people to pull the curtains, little did I realize that... Jeremy, was strapped to the rope that goes up.
As the curtains opened, I heard a sound, as if somebody was choking. I ignored it and turned around to the crowd, as the music started, then to my shock, everybody stopped and just stared behind me. I was honestly confused, so I turned around, and to my absolute horror, there was Jeremy, but.. a rope was over his neck, and his neck was... squeezed, as if broken.
Mirror: You know, I think we need a separate story to explain what stupid shit Jeremy did to get in that situation.
I landed on my knees, and everybody stared at the corpse hanging above the stage. My eye twitched, then, I screamed loudly, and so did the crowd and the rest of the band. Jeremy was dead, and hanging, my only friend, I felt as if my life was over...
Sylvia: Actually, it’s only Jeremy’s life that’s over.
then, it brings me to this point, three days later, I started experiencing strange things, every night afterwords.
Then, today, I found a message written on my computer, which I didn't write, it said 'No more to believe in' I stared at it, and after I saw it, I wrote this, to tell you all, he's here, and he's mad! Please, my time is almost up,
Mirror: Great, this is turning into a Clockwork story.
he wants me dead for what I've done! Please, I just saw a flash on my computer! It looked like Jeremy, he had black, bleeding eyes with light blue irises, blue hair, and a rope around his neck with a black hoodie, please, if you see that picture too, RUN! H...ill...k..ll.. y...ou!
Sylvia: (Lora): F…or poor..ly ex…plained reasons!
END RIFF
Mirror: This story isn’t all that good.
Sylvia: The grammar’s not the best. There’s an excess of commas in places, and some words missing that would make the sentence make sense. The story itself isn’t much to write home about either. The biggest problem is Jeremy himself, and why he’s trying to kill Lora and whoever sees some stupid picture. Jeremy showed absolutely no murderous tendencies throughout the story, nor does his death provide any reason for him to want to kill anyone. Far as I can tell, dumbass got a rope around his neck, then got hung. How and why he got the rope around his neck is never explained, so it’s unclear if his death was murder, suicide, or stupidity. There are smaller story issues too. Lora says Jeremy made “special appearances” when he went to sing. Now, she might’ve meant that he had unique costumes, but that doesn’t explain why he’s called “The Phantom Singer” instead of “Mister Gaga” or something. Honestly, musicians dressing up in strange costumes isn’t exactly new. Either way, it’s entirely possible that he wasn’t dressing in strange costumes, and just wasn’t there, hence the nickname. But if that’s the case, how did he become so famous? Also, he’s 16, in a band, and famous. Really? Now, outside of story inconsistencies, we don’t have much characterization. The two main characters, Lora and Jeremy, don’t have much going for them. Well, mainly Jeremy. Lora we at least know is Jeremy’s groupie/bandmate, so that’s something. Jeremy is…um…evil? Nice? His motivations change based on the story’s needs, and even then there’s not much to him. Finally, let’s talk about the beginning and end of this story. The beginning reads like it’s the profile of someone’s OC or something, which I guess this character was supposed to be. The ending is cliché as all hell, and, when you really think about it, doesn’t make any sense. So, assuming Lora finished this story while struggling with Jeremy, she’d have to click multiple buttons and such to get it on the Spinpasta Wiki. Keep in mind, she’s fighting with a pissed off demonic being while doing so. It’s a bit problematic, don’t you think? Plus, why would she go through the extra trouble of writing multiple ellipses and making it seem like she’s being choked or something if she actually was? Seriously, don’t end your story like this.
Mirror: There are a few good things about the story. The spelling isn’t terrible. It’s not too long, so it’s not a drag. And Lora isn’t that bad as a character, and does have some minor characterization. Honestly, this story isn’t the worst thing that’s been Riffed, but it’s not good either. It’s just in some in between realm of mediocrity. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d be hung by some pissed of singer? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Sylvia: Kind of. I play the sax. I also used to be part of a blues band.
Mirror: What happened to the band?
Sylvia: It broke up after we got some success and lost the spirit of the blues. Why do you ask?
Mirror: Because today’s story, “The Hanging of a Singer,” has to do with music. Also, I was curious. Seriously, I don’t know all that much about you.
Sylvia: Good.
Mirror: …anyway, let’s make special appearances and Riff this bitch.
START RIFF
Jeremy Diamond:
Mirror: No relation to Neil.
Born:April 2nd, 1997
Found dead at: 9:00 pm, May 9th, 2014
Reason: Hung
Sylvia: Like a horse.
Well, if you read the top part of the story, that gives you the info. Many of you, may be asking who Jeremy Diamond is? Well, allow me to introduce myself, I'm Lora, one of Jeremy's old friends.
Mirror: You still didn’t answer the question I didn’t ask.
The reason why I am posting this, is because I think he's trying to kill me. You might be confused, but... I have proof!
Sylvia: (Lora): I have a glove that fits his hand! He must be guilty!
You see, a few days after his death, things started acting up around my house, things are opening on their own, some things started disappearing, and my friends kept saying that 'he was coming'
Mirror: (Lora): A portal to Hell opened up in my kitchen, a demonic being took my dog to the underworld, that sort of thing.
I don't really get it, but it's scaring me. Well, first off, just so you guys know about Jeremy, he was a great 16 year old boy, always smiling, he would never hurt anything, he always stood up for people. But allow me to take you back to the days when it all started.
Both: -flaskback noises-
-Story Start-
-May 8, 10:00am-
I woke up one morning, like usual, and I had to get ready for a group outing with some of my friends. Because, we were all famous band in the town of Plymouth, always singing and having fun while doing it.
Sylvia: (Lora): We also did a lot of drugs. Like, Ozzy Osbourne level drug use. It was awesome.
We had a drummer, a guitarist, and two singers, one of them was me, and the other... was Jeremy. Jeremy was well known, and was called the 'Phantom Singer' because he always made special appearances when he gets on stage to sing,
Mirror: (Lora): Sometimes in the nude.
his acts sometimes surprised me, and made me happy. But today, Jeremy said he had something special to say to us, so of course, I was excited, and immediately rushed down to the stage, which was located five miles from my house.
As soon as I got to the stage, Jeremy was standing there with the rest of my group, smiling like always, he seemed extra excited about something. So I rushed up to him and he looked at me with his hazel eyes.
Sylvia: (Lora): The hazel eyes he was holding in his hand, that is. He just wanted to tell us he stole someone’s eyes.
"What did you want to tell us!?" I asked, really wanting to know. Jeremy smiled widely and my eyes widened, I realized, just from that smile, that he bought that better stage downtown.
Mirror: I had no ideas smiles were a language unto themselves.
Sylvia: Well, duh. Watch. –smiles-
Mirror: You want to devour the souls of the innocent and birth the Antichrist?
Sylvia: …wow, you suck at reading smiles.
He nodded as if he read my mind, and we all hugged him. Nobody realized how much Jeremy and the rest of us wanted that stage, it had better lighting, curtains, and much more.
Sylvia: (Lora): Booze!
"Yeah, I bought it for cheap, so lets go check it out.." Jeremy smiled. We all nodded and walked our way down to the stage, which was located a mile from our old one. As soon as we got to the stage, we admired it, it was perfect, nice wooding, perfect lights, everything was just fine. I was shocked that Jeremy bought it for cheap, it was unique apparently, because nobody would give a stage this nice for cheap, but yet again, who wouldn't want to give a famous singer like Jeremy a stage for cheap.
Mirror: Someone looking to make a profit from a famous person.
I walked over to Jeremy who was getting props out of boxes, which surprised me, because he must've already brought them here before we walked over here. I started helping Jeremy with the props, just as always, and set them all up.
"Okay, I also got some more news." Jeremy said, cleaning his hands. We all gathered around him, wondering what could be as great as this.
Sylvia: (Jeremy): I replaced all your instruments with kazoos!
"I also made us have a concert here tomorrow, so we are booked! I signed us in, and my parents should be putting posters up right now." Jeremy told us. We all cheered for joy, we had all got a concert to sing tomorrow, this could be the best one yet! So of course, as time went on that night, we made sure everything worked on the stage, and after we finished checking, we decided to go home and rest, we had a great day ahead of us, and boy was I excited. But I had no idea... it would end, the way it did,
Mirror: With an excess of commas?
as I slept that night, I kept dreaming about the concert, not knowing what was going to happen the next day.
-May 9th, 6:00pm-
That night, I looked through the curtains, and noticed the huge group of people who had arrived, just to see us. I was excited, but something wasn't right, and my band noticed, Jeremy was not here yet. Jeremy was never late, like.. the only time he was, was when he was surrounded by girls, but if anything, this time he was 30 minutes late.
Sylvia: (Lora): And 30 minutes? Come on, we all know Jeremy doesn’t last that long.
"That's it, I'm going to go and try to find him!" Chris, our drummer said. I shook my head and kept my eyes on the entrance to the backstage. I kept on getting more and more panicked as time went by, almost to the point where I thought he wasn't going to show up. But then, before I was going to go out and search,
Mirror: (Chris): Oh, so I can’t search but you can? I see how it is.
the door slammed open, and Jeremy busted inside, shutting the door fast behind him, as if in a panic.
"There you are! Come on, it's time for us to sing." I told him. Jeremy didn't respond, he didn't even blink, he was breathing hard as if he was scared. I looked closer at him, and noticed cut marks and bruises.
"Jeremy, are you-" I started.
"I'm fine... let's just go and sing." Jeremy said really fast.
Sylvia: Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Mirror: He was at an extreme jousting session?
Sylvia: So not what I’m thinking.
I didn't know what to say, I just shrugged and we went out to sing, it was great, we sang our hearts out, with no problems at all. After we sang, Jeremy told us he was going to go to the bathroom, and told us to talk to the crowd in the meantime, like answer questions and things, and he also told us, if he wasn't back in twenty minutes, to continue the concert.
Mirror: Yes, continue the concert without the band’s lead singer. You aren’t very bright, are you, Jeremy?
As much as I hated to go with that plan, I did, after twenty minutes of him not returning, so we went in front of the stage to sing, and we had to pull the curtains, for the background to be shown. Little did I suspect that, it would go wrong.
Sylvia: (Lora): None of us could sing.
As I told the people to pull the curtains, little did I realize that... Jeremy, was strapped to the rope that goes up.
As the curtains opened, I heard a sound, as if somebody was choking. I ignored it and turned around to the crowd, as the music started, then to my shock, everybody stopped and just stared behind me. I was honestly confused, so I turned around, and to my absolute horror, there was Jeremy, but.. a rope was over his neck, and his neck was... squeezed, as if broken.
Mirror: You know, I think we need a separate story to explain what stupid shit Jeremy did to get in that situation.
I landed on my knees, and everybody stared at the corpse hanging above the stage. My eye twitched, then, I screamed loudly, and so did the crowd and the rest of the band. Jeremy was dead, and hanging, my only friend, I felt as if my life was over...
Sylvia: Actually, it’s only Jeremy’s life that’s over.
then, it brings me to this point, three days later, I started experiencing strange things, every night afterwords.
Then, today, I found a message written on my computer, which I didn't write, it said 'No more to believe in' I stared at it, and after I saw it, I wrote this, to tell you all, he's here, and he's mad! Please, my time is almost up,
Mirror: Great, this is turning into a Clockwork story.
he wants me dead for what I've done! Please, I just saw a flash on my computer! It looked like Jeremy, he had black, bleeding eyes with light blue irises, blue hair, and a rope around his neck with a black hoodie, please, if you see that picture too, RUN! H...ill...k..ll.. y...ou!
Sylvia: (Lora): F…or poor..ly ex…plained reasons!
END RIFF
Mirror: This story isn’t all that good.
Sylvia: The grammar’s not the best. There’s an excess of commas in places, and some words missing that would make the sentence make sense. The story itself isn’t much to write home about either. The biggest problem is Jeremy himself, and why he’s trying to kill Lora and whoever sees some stupid picture. Jeremy showed absolutely no murderous tendencies throughout the story, nor does his death provide any reason for him to want to kill anyone. Far as I can tell, dumbass got a rope around his neck, then got hung. How and why he got the rope around his neck is never explained, so it’s unclear if his death was murder, suicide, or stupidity. There are smaller story issues too. Lora says Jeremy made “special appearances” when he went to sing. Now, she might’ve meant that he had unique costumes, but that doesn’t explain why he’s called “The Phantom Singer” instead of “Mister Gaga” or something. Honestly, musicians dressing up in strange costumes isn’t exactly new. Either way, it’s entirely possible that he wasn’t dressing in strange costumes, and just wasn’t there, hence the nickname. But if that’s the case, how did he become so famous? Also, he’s 16, in a band, and famous. Really? Now, outside of story inconsistencies, we don’t have much characterization. The two main characters, Lora and Jeremy, don’t have much going for them. Well, mainly Jeremy. Lora we at least know is Jeremy’s groupie/bandmate, so that’s something. Jeremy is…um…evil? Nice? His motivations change based on the story’s needs, and even then there’s not much to him. Finally, let’s talk about the beginning and end of this story. The beginning reads like it’s the profile of someone’s OC or something, which I guess this character was supposed to be. The ending is cliché as all hell, and, when you really think about it, doesn’t make any sense. So, assuming Lora finished this story while struggling with Jeremy, she’d have to click multiple buttons and such to get it on the Spinpasta Wiki. Keep in mind, she’s fighting with a pissed off demonic being while doing so. It’s a bit problematic, don’t you think? Plus, why would she go through the extra trouble of writing multiple ellipses and making it seem like she’s being choked or something if she actually was? Seriously, don’t end your story like this.
Mirror: There are a few good things about the story. The spelling isn’t terrible. It’s not too long, so it’s not a drag. And Lora isn’t that bad as a character, and does have some minor characterization. Honestly, this story isn’t the worst thing that’s been Riffed, but it’s not good either. It’s just in some in between realm of mediocrity. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d be hung by some pissed of singer? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.