Dorkpool: So there’s a spin-off of sorts to “Sonic.exe.”
Mirror: Kill me now.
Dorkpool: If only we could have that mercy. Oh well. Let’s just be stupid and Riff this bitch.
START RIFF
Chris was just a normal 15 year old boy.
Dorkpool: Until the Fire Nation attacked.
He was just playing his Xbox and got bored quickly. Then he remembered he hadn't seen his friend Tom since last summer. So Chris took a 10 minute walk to his house. He finally came up to his porch and twisted the door knob. It was locked.
Mirror: Well, duh.
Then he saw the upstairs light on. "So Tom must be home?" Chris thought. Then he saw a window that was slightly open. He thought he could surprise him. So he opened it and jumped in.
Dorkpool: (Chris): I’m sure my friend and his family won’t mind me breaking into their house.
A couple of minutes after exploring the house Chris heard a loud thump upstairs. He slowly crept up the stairs and there were two rooms in front of him, both doors shut. He knew if he opened the wrong door he would get caught by someone. So he pressed his ear against one door, no sound. Then the other, again, no sound.
So he had no choice but to open one door.
Mirror: Well, he could’ve left. That’s a choice.
He slowly opened one door. It was a bathroom, but still investigate. He looked for somewhere to hide but couldn't. He was stunned when looked in the trash bin. There were tissues that looked like someone drenched them in blood and a trail of blood to the next room.
Dorkpool: It would seem someone sneezed on their period.
He wondered how the hell he didn't see the trail of blood. Then Chris continued on to the next room. On his way out there was blood on the door which he knew wasn't there before, so he knew someone was pulling a prank on him or something. Then Chris went to the next room it was locked. There was note next to the doorway saying, "find me" with a drawing of a key. Chris turned back and almost slipped on a pencil that was nearly covered in blood with 'non-human' looking fingermarks on it.
Mirror: Fingermarks, huh? Are you sure that’s the word you’re looking for? Are you sure it’s not something more print like?
Chris wasn't scared, but slightly spooked. Chris slowly went down the stairs ready for anything. Then he saw a blood written message on the wall that said, "You're close." Chris did not see that on his way in the house. Chris slowly made his way into the basement and saw a drawer with the handle covered in blood. Chris opened it and saw a another note and it said "ABOVE YOU" and looked up.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): On the ceiling was the word “gullible.”
Chris saw a key on a string hanging from the ceiling. So Chris reached up, grabbed the key, slowly went back up stairs. Then on the next step he heard a two whispers from two different people. The whispers said, "GO BACK...YOU'RE WALKING TOWARDS YOUR DEATH!" and the other, "YOU CAN'T SAVE TOM, HE'S GONE. SO SAVE YOURSELF!"
Mirror: (Voice): SAVE YOURSELF…15% OFF AT OUR CLEARANCE SALE, THIS SATURDAY AND SUNDAY!
The voices sort of sounded familiar. Chris was looking everywhere for the random voices, but couldn't find them. So Chris looked at the room straight ahead and thought twice. But instinct pulled him towards the door. Chris unlocked it, and opened slowly. He couldn't believe what he saw. He knew now that it wasn't a prank, because Tom was there. Dead. He looked like something gutted him and clawed out his eyes. Chris gagged and looked around. He saw a disk hanging from the ceiling and took it and it read sonic.exe.
Dorkpool: (Chris): My friend’s dead, but hey, a new game. Time to play the fuck out of this!
Chris took a last look at Tom, crying and stood up and slowly walked away. then when he got home he remembered the disk he picked up that said. A voice that sounded like tom whispered in his ear,"DESTROY IT, THEN YOU'LL DESTROY HIM." Chris stood up real fast then grabbed a knife. he looked for the source of the voice but still couldn't find it. he sat down and put the disk in his computer.
Mirror: (Chris): Well, the ghostly voice told me to destroy the disk. But since I can’t find it, time to play the game!
The game said it was loading for what seemed forever. Chris was slowly was fading into a deep slumber. Chris woke up in a field with everything around him on fire. He knew he was dreaming but it seemed so real. He walked around for what seemed to be 15 minutes.
Dorkpool: Wow, your dreams are boring.
Chris heard something behind him that sounded like Kefka laugh from Final Fantasy 6. He looked behind him and saw a blue dot in mid-air about 3 miles from him. The dot started to bigger and Chris knew something was chasing him. He started running as fast as he can but knew he wasn't going to outrun it. Then in 30 seconds something threw Chris to the ground real hard enough to kill but it was a dream. He was gasping for air while looking up. It was something that looked like sonic but had dark bleeding eyes. and it said,"YOU SHOULD'VE LISTEN TO THEM WHILE YOU HAD THE CHANCE Chris."
Mirror: (Sonic): I’M GOING TO MAKE SURE MY DIALOGUE IS WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS EXCEPT FOR YOUR NAME, Chris.
Chris gave up and closed his eyes. He Woke up at his computer this time and the screen showed sonic with bleeding eyes exactly like in his dream. Chris stood up and ran towards the door and when he got to the knob he heard the Kafka laugh again. He turned around and saw something coming out of his computer. IT WAS SONIC!
Dorkpool: Shia Surprise!
Chris was stunned and managed to ask sonic what he wants. Sonic laughed that damn laugh again and stayed,"I NEED YOUR HELP"Chris knew this was a offer if you said no he would die and if yes you live. Chris was scared because he didn't know what was going to happen to him. 5 seconds later he blacked out and woke up at a old abandon graveyard. He came up to a mirror almost half control of his body and saw his dark eyes bleeding with a red pupil.and had blue and gray highlights in his hair and he opened his mouth and saw his teeth razor sharp and yellow, . Chris could hear sonic voice in his head and said, "CHRIS, THERE IS TO MANY SOULS FOR ME TO PLAY WITH SO YOU ARE CHOSEN TO HELP ME."
Mirror: (Chris): Why me?
Dorkpool: (Sonic.exe): I HAVE VERY LOW HIRING STANDARDS.
Chris looked in his pucker and found a sharp pucker knife.Chris got excited and laughed. His laugh was mixed with his laugh and a Kefka laugh. He walked away, getting used to the new him. He finally found a city that he never seen before. The only person Chris saw was a man walking. he came up to him and stabbed him. The man fell to the ground and looked up in fear and eventually died.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): After a few minutes of laughing at Chris’ stupid appearance.
He heard Sonic voice again, it said,"THANKS CHRIS, I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU, KEEP IT UP AND I'LL LET YOU LIVE." Chris looked at the corpse and walked away.
-If you're going to edit please make sure it makes scene tax.
Mirror: Scene tax? Sheesh, the government will tax anything these days.
This is my first pasta soooooo yea:p.
Dorkpool: And yet it’s somehow still marginally better than either of the actual “Sonic.exe” stories.
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story sucks.
Mirror: When you see “Sonic.exe,” you know the story can’t be good. This didn’t disappoint in that area. Chris is an absolute moron and kind of a bad friend. Seriously, dude, your friend’s door is locked, and you just decide to break into his house? Douche. And, not only that, but a ghostly voice tells you not to play a game you found at the house of your dead friend (who, by the way, you just kind of left there without calling the police or anything), and you decide to play it? Dude, you deserve what happens to you. Speaking of which, let’s talk about Sonic.exe or X or whatever here. So Chris, being a moron, ignores all warnings given to him and decides to play this game. X knows this, and probably what happened at Tom’s house, and decides to make Chris his proxy? Dude, this guy has proven himself to be a class-A, Fox News level moron, and you decide to hire him on? I’m honestly not sure who’s stupider: you or Chris. Actually, scratch that, I do know: it’s X. Chris has the excuse of being a mortal teenager; X is supposed to be this multidimensional god being demon thing or some bullshit. You’d think someone like that would have better hiring standards. Just saying. Also, towards the end of the story, the spelling and grammar took a nosedive.
Dorkpool: There are good things. The story’s short, which is nice, and, for the most part, the spelling and grammar was decent (up until the end, that is). However, it’s still pretty bad. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d find a dead friend and a play a game a ghostly voice told us not too? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Mirror: Kill me now.
Dorkpool: If only we could have that mercy. Oh well. Let’s just be stupid and Riff this bitch.
START RIFF
Chris was just a normal 15 year old boy.
Dorkpool: Until the Fire Nation attacked.
He was just playing his Xbox and got bored quickly. Then he remembered he hadn't seen his friend Tom since last summer. So Chris took a 10 minute walk to his house. He finally came up to his porch and twisted the door knob. It was locked.
Mirror: Well, duh.
Then he saw the upstairs light on. "So Tom must be home?" Chris thought. Then he saw a window that was slightly open. He thought he could surprise him. So he opened it and jumped in.
Dorkpool: (Chris): I’m sure my friend and his family won’t mind me breaking into their house.
A couple of minutes after exploring the house Chris heard a loud thump upstairs. He slowly crept up the stairs and there were two rooms in front of him, both doors shut. He knew if he opened the wrong door he would get caught by someone. So he pressed his ear against one door, no sound. Then the other, again, no sound.
So he had no choice but to open one door.
Mirror: Well, he could’ve left. That’s a choice.
He slowly opened one door. It was a bathroom, but still investigate. He looked for somewhere to hide but couldn't. He was stunned when looked in the trash bin. There were tissues that looked like someone drenched them in blood and a trail of blood to the next room.
Dorkpool: It would seem someone sneezed on their period.
He wondered how the hell he didn't see the trail of blood. Then Chris continued on to the next room. On his way out there was blood on the door which he knew wasn't there before, so he knew someone was pulling a prank on him or something. Then Chris went to the next room it was locked. There was note next to the doorway saying, "find me" with a drawing of a key. Chris turned back and almost slipped on a pencil that was nearly covered in blood with 'non-human' looking fingermarks on it.
Mirror: Fingermarks, huh? Are you sure that’s the word you’re looking for? Are you sure it’s not something more print like?
Chris wasn't scared, but slightly spooked. Chris slowly went down the stairs ready for anything. Then he saw a blood written message on the wall that said, "You're close." Chris did not see that on his way in the house. Chris slowly made his way into the basement and saw a drawer with the handle covered in blood. Chris opened it and saw a another note and it said "ABOVE YOU" and looked up.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): On the ceiling was the word “gullible.”
Chris saw a key on a string hanging from the ceiling. So Chris reached up, grabbed the key, slowly went back up stairs. Then on the next step he heard a two whispers from two different people. The whispers said, "GO BACK...YOU'RE WALKING TOWARDS YOUR DEATH!" and the other, "YOU CAN'T SAVE TOM, HE'S GONE. SO SAVE YOURSELF!"
Mirror: (Voice): SAVE YOURSELF…15% OFF AT OUR CLEARANCE SALE, THIS SATURDAY AND SUNDAY!
The voices sort of sounded familiar. Chris was looking everywhere for the random voices, but couldn't find them. So Chris looked at the room straight ahead and thought twice. But instinct pulled him towards the door. Chris unlocked it, and opened slowly. He couldn't believe what he saw. He knew now that it wasn't a prank, because Tom was there. Dead. He looked like something gutted him and clawed out his eyes. Chris gagged and looked around. He saw a disk hanging from the ceiling and took it and it read sonic.exe.
Dorkpool: (Chris): My friend’s dead, but hey, a new game. Time to play the fuck out of this!
Chris took a last look at Tom, crying and stood up and slowly walked away. then when he got home he remembered the disk he picked up that said. A voice that sounded like tom whispered in his ear,"DESTROY IT, THEN YOU'LL DESTROY HIM." Chris stood up real fast then grabbed a knife. he looked for the source of the voice but still couldn't find it. he sat down and put the disk in his computer.
Mirror: (Chris): Well, the ghostly voice told me to destroy the disk. But since I can’t find it, time to play the game!
The game said it was loading for what seemed forever. Chris was slowly was fading into a deep slumber. Chris woke up in a field with everything around him on fire. He knew he was dreaming but it seemed so real. He walked around for what seemed to be 15 minutes.
Dorkpool: Wow, your dreams are boring.
Chris heard something behind him that sounded like Kefka laugh from Final Fantasy 6. He looked behind him and saw a blue dot in mid-air about 3 miles from him. The dot started to bigger and Chris knew something was chasing him. He started running as fast as he can but knew he wasn't going to outrun it. Then in 30 seconds something threw Chris to the ground real hard enough to kill but it was a dream. He was gasping for air while looking up. It was something that looked like sonic but had dark bleeding eyes. and it said,"YOU SHOULD'VE LISTEN TO THEM WHILE YOU HAD THE CHANCE Chris."
Mirror: (Sonic): I’M GOING TO MAKE SURE MY DIALOGUE IS WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS EXCEPT FOR YOUR NAME, Chris.
Chris gave up and closed his eyes. He Woke up at his computer this time and the screen showed sonic with bleeding eyes exactly like in his dream. Chris stood up and ran towards the door and when he got to the knob he heard the Kafka laugh again. He turned around and saw something coming out of his computer. IT WAS SONIC!
Dorkpool: Shia Surprise!
Chris was stunned and managed to ask sonic what he wants. Sonic laughed that damn laugh again and stayed,"I NEED YOUR HELP"Chris knew this was a offer if you said no he would die and if yes you live. Chris was scared because he didn't know what was going to happen to him. 5 seconds later he blacked out and woke up at a old abandon graveyard. He came up to a mirror almost half control of his body and saw his dark eyes bleeding with a red pupil.and had blue and gray highlights in his hair and he opened his mouth and saw his teeth razor sharp and yellow, . Chris could hear sonic voice in his head and said, "CHRIS, THERE IS TO MANY SOULS FOR ME TO PLAY WITH SO YOU ARE CHOSEN TO HELP ME."
Mirror: (Chris): Why me?
Dorkpool: (Sonic.exe): I HAVE VERY LOW HIRING STANDARDS.
Chris looked in his pucker and found a sharp pucker knife.Chris got excited and laughed. His laugh was mixed with his laugh and a Kefka laugh. He walked away, getting used to the new him. He finally found a city that he never seen before. The only person Chris saw was a man walking. he came up to him and stabbed him. The man fell to the ground and looked up in fear and eventually died.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): After a few minutes of laughing at Chris’ stupid appearance.
He heard Sonic voice again, it said,"THANKS CHRIS, I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU, KEEP IT UP AND I'LL LET YOU LIVE." Chris looked at the corpse and walked away.
-If you're going to edit please make sure it makes scene tax.
Mirror: Scene tax? Sheesh, the government will tax anything these days.
This is my first pasta soooooo yea:p.
Dorkpool: And yet it’s somehow still marginally better than either of the actual “Sonic.exe” stories.
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story sucks.
Mirror: When you see “Sonic.exe,” you know the story can’t be good. This didn’t disappoint in that area. Chris is an absolute moron and kind of a bad friend. Seriously, dude, your friend’s door is locked, and you just decide to break into his house? Douche. And, not only that, but a ghostly voice tells you not to play a game you found at the house of your dead friend (who, by the way, you just kind of left there without calling the police or anything), and you decide to play it? Dude, you deserve what happens to you. Speaking of which, let’s talk about Sonic.exe or X or whatever here. So Chris, being a moron, ignores all warnings given to him and decides to play this game. X knows this, and probably what happened at Tom’s house, and decides to make Chris his proxy? Dude, this guy has proven himself to be a class-A, Fox News level moron, and you decide to hire him on? I’m honestly not sure who’s stupider: you or Chris. Actually, scratch that, I do know: it’s X. Chris has the excuse of being a mortal teenager; X is supposed to be this multidimensional god being demon thing or some bullshit. You’d think someone like that would have better hiring standards. Just saying. Also, towards the end of the story, the spelling and grammar took a nosedive.
Dorkpool: There are good things. The story’s short, which is nice, and, for the most part, the spelling and grammar was decent (up until the end, that is). However, it’s still pretty bad. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d find a dead friend and a play a game a ghostly voice told us not too? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.