Dorkpool: You know, the History Channel tells us that the answer to everything is aliens.
Mirror: Actually, it’s that one guy from that Ancient Aliens show.
Dorkpool: Or maybe it’s aliens!
Mirror: No, pretty sure it’s that one guy.
Dorkpool: Well, anyway, the story we’re Riffing today, “Siren,” has to deal with aliens.
Mirror: Fascinating.
Dorkpool: Yep, Mr. Spock. Anyway, let’s blame aliens and Riff this petaQ!
START RIFF
I have a story, a true one.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): It’s a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down.
I’m still not sure to this day what happened, and I don’t ever want to. It was Christmas morning 2012, I was fast asleep, as it was only 4:00 a.m.
Mirror: Wait, if you were asleep, how did you know the time? Do you have a clock in your head? Can I have one?
I was dreaming about school. I can remember everything about this dream very clearly; it would be hard for anyone to forget. I swear to god this dream is true. If you know anything about this please contact me, please.
Dorkpool: I’d love to, but I don’t know about the dream, nor do I know how to contact you. So this is useless to me.
Anyways, as I was saying, I was dreaming about school. All of the sudden my dream switched from a cheery scene of me and my friends having a Christmas party in class to a picture of a woman, I am not sure if it was a very realistic robot or an alien woman,
Mirror: (Narrator): Or maybe someone with a lot of plastic surgery. A Kardashian, maybe.
all I know is it scared me, so badly that I was paralyzed in time. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t, I wanted to wake up but my body made it clear that it didn’t want to, that it couldn’t. I know what you are thinking, “oh she is just telling me about how she got abducted by aliens or something cheesy like that.” No I am not, this is much different. Sorry I keep getting off track;
Dorkpool: (Narrator): I just have a short attention spa – hey, look, a squirrel!
I just want to explain everything to you so you know I am not some crazy person. Maybe I am… anyways; the woman told me her name was Siren. Odd. She looked at me as if I were a piece of very interesting art. I did get a good glimpse of her too. I could only see her head and part of her neck, but she was beautiful to say the least. She was literally glowing, like there was a light shining inside of her. She had perfect light grey skin, very light. She also had white eyes, I don’t mean her pupils and irises were white, I mean her whole eye was white. She had dark grey lips and 3 dark grey dots in a triangular formation above her eyes. She had no eyebrows though, along with any hair.
Mirror: So she’s like an angelic Deltan/Herobrine/Stereotypical alien hybrid. Got it.
Somehow, she was still strikingly beautiful. After that, my vision went blurry and some noises happened…. They sounded like shrieking and bad radio reception. After that she said what sounded like “welcome the new age” and everything went black.
Dorkpool: Ugh, don’t you just hate it when you see a weird alien being that says some lyrics from the song “Radioactive,” then you black out? It’s pretty annoying.
I woke up and was still paralyzed; it felt like there was an electric current going through my body. I tried to scream, nothing came out. Once I was back to normal, I started to cry. My mother came to comfort me but she couldn’t help. When I finally calmed down, I looked up “new age aliens and robots.” What I saw frightened me;
Mirror: That’s usually what happens when you look things up on the Internet.
i was staring at a picture of the thing that had corrupted my dream. I told my parents, but as usual they laughed it off telling me it was just a dream, as any parent would do. I know in my heart, this was not just a dream, this was real and I know it.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Despite what my many psychiatrists say, it was totally real!
I had never heard of “the new age” before. Why did she choose me to tell? Why was I so scared? Why can’t I get her face out of my head? Why Christmas morning? I am still looking for answers… if you know anything, anything at all, please help me…
Mirror: Sure, as soon as you give us a way to contact you.
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story isn’t all that good.
Mirror: I’m not quite sure it’s a story per se. It’s just a description of a dream. It could have led to an interesting story if it was continued, with our protagonist trying to find out more about the dream or something. As is, this dream description isn’t all that good. First things first, if you look up “new age aliens and robots” on Google, you’ll most likely come across pictures of Transformers, Avengers, a Star Trek picture, and a picture of a Lego (ish) version of Team RWBY, among other things. No aliens matching the narrator’s description though. Also, the points where the narrator says that the story is real, and it’s not some silly alien story or whatever is annoying. Don’t say what your story is and isn’t; show us. “Miss Mosaic” did something similar, and it was annoying as all hell and didn’t help make the story any scarier. Actually, this story isn’t really scary, and I have no idea if it was trying to be. If it was, it failed, since I can’t see anything that’s supposed to be scary. Maybe if you threw in some apocalyptic visions or something, I could award you points for effort. However, I don’t see what’s supposed to be so scary. The alien is supposed to be beautiful, and it just says, “Welcome to the new age.” Is the new age supposed to be scary? I mean, it could be a good thing. Maybe it could be a first contact kind of thing. You know, humans and aliens meeting for the first time, and working together for the betterment of both species. I don’t find that scary. And, seriously, how are we supposed to contact you, author?
Dorkpool: There are good things. The story’s short, which is nice. Ish. The spelling and grammar isn’t all that bad. And the writer didn’t try using many clichés or anything. However, the story still isn’t all that good. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d be part of the new age? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
Mirror: Actually, it’s that one guy from that Ancient Aliens show.
Dorkpool: Or maybe it’s aliens!
Mirror: No, pretty sure it’s that one guy.
Dorkpool: Well, anyway, the story we’re Riffing today, “Siren,” has to deal with aliens.
Mirror: Fascinating.
Dorkpool: Yep, Mr. Spock. Anyway, let’s blame aliens and Riff this petaQ!
START RIFF
I have a story, a true one.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): It’s a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down.
I’m still not sure to this day what happened, and I don’t ever want to. It was Christmas morning 2012, I was fast asleep, as it was only 4:00 a.m.
Mirror: Wait, if you were asleep, how did you know the time? Do you have a clock in your head? Can I have one?
I was dreaming about school. I can remember everything about this dream very clearly; it would be hard for anyone to forget. I swear to god this dream is true. If you know anything about this please contact me, please.
Dorkpool: I’d love to, but I don’t know about the dream, nor do I know how to contact you. So this is useless to me.
Anyways, as I was saying, I was dreaming about school. All of the sudden my dream switched from a cheery scene of me and my friends having a Christmas party in class to a picture of a woman, I am not sure if it was a very realistic robot or an alien woman,
Mirror: (Narrator): Or maybe someone with a lot of plastic surgery. A Kardashian, maybe.
all I know is it scared me, so badly that I was paralyzed in time. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t, I wanted to wake up but my body made it clear that it didn’t want to, that it couldn’t. I know what you are thinking, “oh she is just telling me about how she got abducted by aliens or something cheesy like that.” No I am not, this is much different. Sorry I keep getting off track;
Dorkpool: (Narrator): I just have a short attention spa – hey, look, a squirrel!
I just want to explain everything to you so you know I am not some crazy person. Maybe I am… anyways; the woman told me her name was Siren. Odd. She looked at me as if I were a piece of very interesting art. I did get a good glimpse of her too. I could only see her head and part of her neck, but she was beautiful to say the least. She was literally glowing, like there was a light shining inside of her. She had perfect light grey skin, very light. She also had white eyes, I don’t mean her pupils and irises were white, I mean her whole eye was white. She had dark grey lips and 3 dark grey dots in a triangular formation above her eyes. She had no eyebrows though, along with any hair.
Mirror: So she’s like an angelic Deltan/Herobrine/Stereotypical alien hybrid. Got it.
Somehow, she was still strikingly beautiful. After that, my vision went blurry and some noises happened…. They sounded like shrieking and bad radio reception. After that she said what sounded like “welcome the new age” and everything went black.
Dorkpool: Ugh, don’t you just hate it when you see a weird alien being that says some lyrics from the song “Radioactive,” then you black out? It’s pretty annoying.
I woke up and was still paralyzed; it felt like there was an electric current going through my body. I tried to scream, nothing came out. Once I was back to normal, I started to cry. My mother came to comfort me but she couldn’t help. When I finally calmed down, I looked up “new age aliens and robots.” What I saw frightened me;
Mirror: That’s usually what happens when you look things up on the Internet.
i was staring at a picture of the thing that had corrupted my dream. I told my parents, but as usual they laughed it off telling me it was just a dream, as any parent would do. I know in my heart, this was not just a dream, this was real and I know it.
Dorkpool: (Narrator): Despite what my many psychiatrists say, it was totally real!
I had never heard of “the new age” before. Why did she choose me to tell? Why was I so scared? Why can’t I get her face out of my head? Why Christmas morning? I am still looking for answers… if you know anything, anything at all, please help me…
Mirror: Sure, as soon as you give us a way to contact you.
END RIFF
Dorkpool: This story isn’t all that good.
Mirror: I’m not quite sure it’s a story per se. It’s just a description of a dream. It could have led to an interesting story if it was continued, with our protagonist trying to find out more about the dream or something. As is, this dream description isn’t all that good. First things first, if you look up “new age aliens and robots” on Google, you’ll most likely come across pictures of Transformers, Avengers, a Star Trek picture, and a picture of a Lego (ish) version of Team RWBY, among other things. No aliens matching the narrator’s description though. Also, the points where the narrator says that the story is real, and it’s not some silly alien story or whatever is annoying. Don’t say what your story is and isn’t; show us. “Miss Mosaic” did something similar, and it was annoying as all hell and didn’t help make the story any scarier. Actually, this story isn’t really scary, and I have no idea if it was trying to be. If it was, it failed, since I can’t see anything that’s supposed to be scary. Maybe if you threw in some apocalyptic visions or something, I could award you points for effort. However, I don’t see what’s supposed to be so scary. The alien is supposed to be beautiful, and it just says, “Welcome to the new age.” Is the new age supposed to be scary? I mean, it could be a good thing. Maybe it could be a first contact kind of thing. You know, humans and aliens meeting for the first time, and working together for the betterment of both species. I don’t find that scary. And, seriously, how are we supposed to contact you, author?
Dorkpool: There are good things. The story’s short, which is nice. Ish. The spelling and grammar isn’t all that bad. And the writer didn’t try using many clichés or anything. However, the story still isn’t all that good. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d be part of the new age? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.