Sylvia: Oh, really? Well, happy birthday to him, where ever he is.
Mirror: Yep. If you’re reading this, happy birthday, man.
Sylvia: Yeah. Anyway, what’re we Riffing today?
Mirror: The “Courage the Cowardly Dog Lost Episode Creepy Pasta.”
Sylvia: Why does Creepypasta have a space?
Mirror: Damned if I know. Anyway, let’s take some drugs, and Riff this bitch.
Okay, so it was just a normal Tuesday night right.
Mirror: A line that starts almost every great story.
I just showered and ate dinner and did school homework and got ready for bed. So normally I stay up a bit late to watch T.V (my parents don't care I have insomnia).
Nothing good was on so I switched to Cartoon Network, because usually it amuses me, even if the show sucks.
Sylvia: You’re amused by Teen Titans GO? You disgust me.
Well when I turned to it, Scooby Doo just finished and was on the credits, then it said Courage the Cowardly Dog was coming up next. I'm like "Okay great my favorite show, gotta watch this!".
Mirror: I’d make a joke about this line of dialogue, but nothing would do it justice.
So when the show came on it was a bit unusual. The title and all came on okay, but after the theme song ended it cut to black for like 5 minutes. I tried to switch channels but I noticed the batteries were dead and I was too lazy to change them, so I just sat there looking at the blank, black screen for 5 minutes till the show came on.
Sylvia: (Narrator): By show, I mean static.
Finally it came on but then it just showed Courage staring lifelessly into the screen, like he was looking at me. His eyes were red, like just plain red, no pupil or iris or anything. JUST RED. It creeped me out for a minute but I was like "It's okay, I mean the show was always weird" so I thought it was fine, ya know.
But it wasn't.
Mirror: No shit.
I had lights on, but then they turned off, I checked the plug, it was in. I checked the bulbs, they were new. I checked the house, no shortage. So I'm like "Screw it, just watch the damn show".
Sylvia: (Narrator): Which was still on despite the power outage. I didn’t question this because, as you can probably tell, I’m not all that bright.
So I continued watching. Courage stopped staring and then began walking down this road that seemed to lead to no where. And, he was holding a bloody knife. I was like "What the hell!".
He was walking for about 1 minute. And during that minute played music that sounded like it should of been in Silent Hill or something. Then it was static-y for a bit.
Mirror: Slender Man, get out of crappy lost episode stories.
Courage then walked to his house. The house looked black, like it was in a fire and was all ash.
He opened the ashy door that creaked really loud, earbleeding loud, and I tried to turn the volume down on the T.V. but it wouldn't. So all I could do was just cover my ears.
Sylvia: (Narrator): Instead of turning off the TV. Once again, I’m not very bright.
It finally stopped and Courage walked into the house, it was dark inside. He flipped the switch, the lights flickered on. He's in the living room, you see Muriel and Eustace were just sitting in there normal spots, doing nothing.
But, their eyes were just plain white and very wide, like they were on drugs.
Mirror: No, they weren’t on drugs. They just thought they were after reading “Horse.”
Muriel says in some distorted voice "Hello Courage, what a nice dog" and walked up to him and petted him. Eustace said nothing for 10 seconds, then said under his breath "St-Stupid... Dog...." and cursed some words in a whisper to himself. They sat there for 20 seconds, staring blanklessy at poor Courage, then Muriel took out her rolling pin thing you see on the normal episodes, and beats Eustace without mercy constantly. She hit him to the point where you hear him screaming in pain, and then you saw blood splattering.
Sylvia: I think you guys should call a marriage counselor.
I kinda started to tear up a bit. It was sad, even though he was never my favorite. The screams and cry for help just sounded to real! Muriel then said "Die you bastard, and go to Hell where you belong". She said it in that distorted voice again. It was freaking me out.
Courage just stood there, still holding the bloody knife. I don't know what he was thinking, but I could tell it was just evilness. He then started saying some words in a language I didn't understand, like a special language.
Sylvia: A special language for special snowflakes.
Muriel then stopped hitting Eustace. Eustace was still alive, but was beaten up badly. He seemed like he had internal bleeding from the way he was coughing up blood and had blood coming out his eyes.
Mirror: Bleeding eyes? Did we switch over to “Squidward’s Suicide” or something?
Muriel looks at Courage. Some music plays, again it sounds like something in Silent Hill. Courage comes to Muriel, slits her throat. And the most disturbing part is... Courage rapes her. I just sat there in disgust. I couldn't believe it!
Sylvia: (Narrator): This looks way different from the fanart I saw depicting the same thing!
Courage takes Muriel and Eustace's bodies and puts them in the basement... Where you see a lot of other dead bodies. He throws the two bodies into the pile of dead bodies. He then draws the pentagram around the pile of bodies. He then takes gasoline and a lighter and lights the pile of bodies on fire, and says "YOU BELONG IN HELL, LET SATAN BE WITH YOU! ALL HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN!
Mirror: No, it’s hail Hydra.
SATAN IS OUR LEADER!" He said it in a loud, deep, distorted voice. It scared the shit out of me. Then, Courage jumped into the fire, and screamed in pain from the fire burning his flesh. You see blood and fire sparks go everywhere. Then, the house burns to the ground, down to ashes. A storm hits, and everything goes away. Like nothing ever happened.
Sylvia: Like this story in a nutshell.
Then, the credits go on. They weren't normal credits. The music sounded like a 6 year old was banging the piano and the violin in it was very scratchy. And then all you hear is static, and then screams.
Mirror: Hey, at least it wasn’t “Friday.”
Then laughing. Like you were hearing Hell itself. The only words that said was "Made by Lucifer"
Sylvia: Copyright 666.
The show then stopped, and then played a normal episode of Chowder. I started crying so hard from being scared. I mean, was this some sick joke?! BECAUSE THIS WASN'T FUNNY!
Mirror: Well, in an ironic way it kind of is.
Who knows what kid saw this, parents even. Or am I the only one who saw this?
Wow. Just wow. I'm Atheist and I don't believe in Devils, Angels, God, Satan, Heaven, or Hell. But I'm questioning my beliefs now.
Sylvia: (Narrator): Maybe I’ll become a Scientologist.
I called Cartoon Network the next day, questioning them about this. They said they don't remember playing that. In fact Courage the Cowardly Dog wasn't even playing at that time, it was Adventure Time! It made me curious. I did enough research and questioning the network to the point where I couldn't get any answer. It was like the "episode" was meant... for ME!
Mirror: Satan made that episode just for you? Oh, how thoughtful.
It made me feel sick to my stomach.
So far nothing has happened. I'm just praying that nothing does and this was all a dream. I will never think of this show the same again.
Thank you for taking your time to read this. Have a good day. Bye.
Mirror: Enjoy your lifelong mental scarring!
Sylvia: Hope the therapy’s cheap!
Mirror: This story sucks.
Sylvia: Wow, does this story love clichés. From the standard lost episode clichés (bleeding eyes, ultra violence, profanity, etc) to even more lazy ones (the whole Satan thing), this story has clichés covered. And, outside of clichés, there’s a lot of stupid. Let’s start with the power going out. Why doesn’t the main character question why the power’s gone out, but his TV’s still on? Wouldn’t he think something fishy’s going on? And why doesn’t he ever try turning off his TV? Clearly this show scares him. Now, if there was a line like, “I tried turning off my TV, but it wouldn’t turn off” or something like that, fine. And yes, I know, his remote doesn’t work, but most TV’s have a power button on them. And yes, he’s lazy. But I find fear to be a great motivator. Actually, speaking of fear, let’s talk about the Satan thing. Why? Why was that the twist? What did that add? Satan himself didn’t do anything. So what was the point? I mean, outside of a lazy explanation for the episode. And how come Satan himself only made the episode for this schmuck? What’s so special about the guy? Is it because he’s an atheist? Is this a way of trying to make him believe in God or something? Also, is this story trying to change religious views? I doubt it, but you never know. Now, let’s get back to our main character, who we know very little about. We know he’s lazy, stupid, and was an atheist. And…that’s about it. This makes it hard to feel anything for the main character, so when this “scary” thing happens, it doesn’t make us feel anything. Also, one final note, the grammar has some issues.
Mirror: There are some good things. The story’s short, so it isn’t much of a drag. And, admittedly, the spelling and grammar isn’t awful for this kind of story. However, this story still sucks. But that’s what we think. What do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish we’d watch something from Satan? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.