Jake NukeIt, however, didn’t seem to notice.
“So Zorax is dead?” he asked.
“Yep,” Dorkpool responded, while looking under a pile of guns on the floor.
“And Creepypasta characters exist?”
“Some do, apparently.”
“And – ” Jake started.
“Hey, before you ask another question, do you have any rope?” Dorkpool asked.
“Oh, yeah. Towards the back, second shelf on the right.”
“Thanks,” Dorkpool said, walking over there.
“So Jeff the Killer is a result of the Project?” Jake asked.
“Yep. Him and his many, many knockoffs.” Dorkpool said, getting some rope.
Dorkpool walked towards the center of the cave, where an unconscious Eyeless Jack was laying on the floor.
“And alternate timelines not only exist, but are responsible for your predicament?” Jake asked.
“That’s right.” Dorkpool said, dragging Jack to a wall, propping him up, and starting to tie him up with the rope.
“And not only do you have a girlfriend – ”
“Had a girlfriend, thank you very much.”
“But she, along with my twin brother, were a part of a team of superheroes?”
“Far as I saw, yeah. And…done,” Dorkpool said as he finished tying the last knot. “Listen, Jake, I know you have questions for me, but I think we both have questions for this schmuck,” Dorkpool added, pointing at Eyeless Jack.
Jake nodded. “Right.”
They both squatted down to Jack’s level. Dorkpool started softly slapping Jack’s face.
“Wakey wakey,” he said.
Jack stirred. “W-where am I? And, oh God, why is it so dark? Have I gone blind?”
“You don’t have any eyes,” Jake helpfully added.
“Alright, Jack. Me and my friend – ” Jake started.
“My friend and I.” Dorkpool corrected.
“What?” Jake asked, turning to face Dorkpool.
“It’s not ‘me and my friend,’ it’s ‘my friend and I.’”
“Does it even matter?”
“Not really. But just saying.”
Jake turned back towards Jack (not that Jack noticed). “Well, my friend and I have questions for you.”
“Well, I’m not answering. He told me not to!” Jack responded.
“Who’s he?” Dorkpool asked.
“I’m not telling!”
“You know, if you don’t, I could just kill you. Kinda like I did with the Tails Doll.”
“Wait, you killed the Tails Doll? Oh, thanks. He annoyed me and the other folks Kren hired.”
Dorkpool and Jake exchanged a glance.
“Who’s Kren?” Dorkpool asked.
“He’s the guy who hired you, isn’t he?”
Jack drooped his head in shame. “Yes. Please don’t tell him! He’ll kill me! And I haven’t even been an Eyeless Jack for long!”
“Wait, ‘for long?’”
“Well, yeah. The mantle of Eyeless Jack is passed from person to person.”
“We have no eyes and are killers, so we tend to die rather idiotic deaths.”
“Then why do you guys keep passing the mantle?”
“Kind of a stupid tradition,” Jake muttered.
“I heard that!” Jack said.
“You said Kren hired other people. Who else?” Dorkpool asked.
“Why should I tell you?”
“Because this Kren guy you mentioned is probably going to kill you, and we’d protect you if you help us.” Jake said.
“That is a good reason. Alright, we’ve got the Rake, we had the Tails Doll, there’s X, Laughing Jack - ”
“Did somebody say my name?” a voice asked. Dorkpool and Jake turned to where the voice was coming from to see…
“Laughing Jack. Great.” Dorkpool said.
“How do you idiots keep getting in here?” Jake asked.
“Well, we’ve all got tracking devices implanted in us so we can find each other, and someone left the door open.”
Jake glared at Dorkpool. Dorkpool shrugged. “I’ll keep the door closed next time, ok?”
“How come I didn’t get one of those trackers?” Eyeless Jack asked.
“You’re blind. I’m not sure you could use it.”
“Hey! That’s offensive to the blind.”
“You’re also an idiot.”
“I can accept that.”
“What do you want?” Dorkpool asked.
“Want?” Laughing Jack asked in a voicing brimming with positivity. “Why, I want you dead!”
“You know, I get that a lot,” Dorkpool said.
Laughing Jack ran towards Jake and Dorkpool, who fired at him with their respective weapons. The weapons didn’t seem to phase the overly-positive monochromatic clown, so the two instead decided to run away.
“Jake?” Dorkpool asked as they ran.
“Yeah?” Jake responed.
“Do you have some other exit to this place?”
“Yeah. Follow me.”
The two ran for the exit as Laughing Jack followed.
“Is this a chase? Oh, how I love chases!” the clown said.
“Does this guy ever shut up?” Dorkpool muttered to himself.
“Takes one to know one,” Jake muttered back.
The two eventually made it to the exit, and left. Laughing Jack stopped as soon as they left, then started walking back towards Eyeless Jack.
“Jack?” Eyeless Jack asked. “Did you stop chasing them?”
“Yes I did, Jack old bean. Our other friends can take care of them.” Laughing Jack said, his positive voice betraying a hint of menace.
“Can you untie me?”
Laughing Jack, by this point, had made his way back to where Eyeless Jack was sitting, all tied up.
“I could, but should I?”
“W-why shouldn’t you?”
“You betrayed us, Jacky-boy. And you know how Kren, and the rest of us, really, feel about dirty traitors.”
“I’m no traitor, I swear!”
Laughing Jack laughed. “Sure you aren’t. Because I totally didn’t hear you giving up the names of our friends now, did I?”
Eyeless Jack gulped. “N-no?”
“Oh, Jack, Jack, Jack, I’m gonna miss you.” Laughing Jack said, before grabbing Eyeless Jack’s head and twisting it an entire 360 degrees. An audible snap was heard.
Outside, Dorkpool and Jake NukeIt had ended up some blocks away from Jake’s home, and were panting heavily.
“Never…again…” Jake said between pained breaths.
“I…regret everything…” Dorkpool said, also between pained breaths.
The two just sat down and leaned on something for a few minutes, trying to catch their breath.
“We need a car or something,” Dorkpool said.
“To go where, exactly?” Jake asked.
Dorkpool thought for a minute. “Where was the last place you remember your brother going?”
“Ummm…Vinculux City, I think. Why?”
“Well, if the picture I have is any indication, that just might be a lead for us. Now, the only question is how do we get there.”
Jake looked at what they were leaning on.
“I think I got something,” Jake said, banging on the RV they were leaning on.
TO BE CONTINUED…