He woke up, but he had no idea where he was. But that’s ok; he did that all the time, right?
Wait, did he? He couldn’t remember.
In fact, he couldn’t remember much of anything.
Ok, stay calm. He told himself. Try to focus on who you are.
Your name is…
Your name is…
He couldn’t remember his name.
Who was he? He couldn’t remember. Friends? Family? Loved ones? All gone.
He started panicking.
“Hey,” a voice said.
He – whoever he was – looked around.
“H-hello?” the amnesiac asked. “Is somebody there?”
“Yeah. Me,” the voice said again.
The man without a name looked at where the voice was coming from, and saw another man. He was a bit heavyset, but still seemed kind of strong. He had black hair and wore glasses.
“And you are?” the amnesiac asked.
“JN. And you?” JN responded.
“I…I don’t know.”
JN nodded knowingly. “Another one of Zorax’s pet projects.”
“He’s the guy who runs this place.”
“What is this place?”
“It’s called the Project. Basically, it’s the place where Zorax – a conqueror – makes his ‘unkillable army.’ Or, at least, that’s the plan. Haven’t really seen anyone like that come out of here.”
“How long have you been here?”
JN thought for a few moments. “A while. But, in all that time, I’ve never seen someone come out wearing a mask like yours.”
“Mask?” The amnesiac said. He felt his face. Sure enough, he felt cloth. Definitely a mask.
“Yeah, what is that, Deadpool?” JN asked.
“I don’t know. I can’t exactly see it.”
“Maybe if I take it off, I might remember who I am. Or maybe you’ll know who I am under it.”
JN shrugged. “Worth a shot.”
The amnesiac grabbed the bottom of his mask, and started pulling it up. It went above his mouth, his nose, and…
It got stuck. The amnesiac couldn’t pull it off anymore.
He tried grabbing from the top. No luck.
The mask seemed to be fused to most of his face.
“Ok, that’s unique,” JN said.
“Oh, just lovely. I may not know who I am, but at least I’m unique.”
“Some people try very hard to be unique, but fail.”
“Thanks for your words of wisdom, you human fortune cookie.”
“Not helping, am I?’
“No, not at all.”
JN thought for a second. “Alright, you say you can’t remember your loved ones or really anyone close to you.”
“Yes, I said that, thank you.” The amnesiac snapped.
“Can you try remembering your interests?”
The amnesiac tried remembering.
What do I like? He thought. Well, there’s…hmmmm…Deadpool?
“I like Deadpool,” the amnesiac said.
“That explains the mask,” JN muttered.
“I like Deadpool,” the amnesiac repeated, astonished. “I remembered something. I remembered something!”
“Great! So, what else can you remember?”
The amnesiac started listing off some of his other interests: Spider-Man, Marvel, comics in general, Star Trek, the list of his mostly nerdy interests went on and on.
“Jesus, man. Maybe we need to call you Dorkpool or something.” JN commented.
The amnesiac stopped. “Yeah, Dorkpool…I like that.”
“I meant that as a joke, but ok.”
Dorkpool ignored him. “From this day forward, I shall be…Dorkpool!”
Dorkpool turned to JN. “Thank you for helping me.”
“No problem. You seem like you needed help.”
“Hey! I need you help!”
Those were the first words Dorkpool yelled upon getting to the bottom of Jake NukeIt’s…Jakecave? NukeIt Bunker? Oh, whatever.
Dorkpool had been seeking out his old friend, Jake NukeIt. After fighting, defeating, and burning the Tails Doll (which came after him for some reason), he happened upon a building with the letters “JN” on them. Assuming the building was Jake’s (which it was), he worked towards, and succeeded in, gaining entrance. Then he walked down a long staircase, and…
Here he was. In the Jakecave.
It was actually pretty big, and full of computer monitors. Multiple tables with multiple pages of what appeared to be blueprints were haphazardly placed around the cave. Multiple weapons, some of which Dorkpool recognized, were hung up like trophies, or just on the floor. Also on the floor were multiple empty bags of Doritos.
And in the middle of all of this was Jake NukeIt, sitting on a chair in front of some computer monitors.
After Dorkpool yelled, Jake turned around to face him. Jake had gotten a bit heavier, and was wearing a red tank top and black pants.
“Dorkpool. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Jake asked.
“Just a tad, yeah.” Dorkpool responded.
Jake looked him up and down.
“Seems like you took the Dorkpool thing to a whole different level,” he observed.
“And it seems like you’re looking to win a Duke Nukem cosplay contest. But, to be honest, I’m not here to critique fashion choices.”
“No, you’re here because you need help.”
“So…what do you need help with?”
Dorkpool hands him a picture.
“Feast your eyes, buddy, and tell if there’s anyone there that looks familiar.” Dorkpool said.
Jake took a look at the image. There were a bunch of colorfully attired people, two folks who seemed to have animal ears, and…
“That’s not me,” Jake said.
“Wait, what?” Dorkpool asked.
“It’s not me.”
“But he looks almost exactly like you.”
“That’s because he’s my brother. Twin brother, actually.”
“Your twin brother.”
“Yes. I have a twin brother.”
Dorkpool sighed. “Yep, those are definitely superheroes alright. Only a superhero would have a twin brother.”
“I haven’t spoken to him in years,” Jake added.
“Of course you haven’t.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, in comics, whenever a character has a twin sibling, the twin comes out of nowhere after not speaking to the other twin for a long time.”
“You do realize life isn’t a comic, right?”
“You do realize you telling this to a guy in a Deadpool mask who had a starship and whose catgirl ex-girlfriend and your twin brother were part of a team of superheroes, right?”
Both were silent for a minute. Then, Jake asked, “What do you mean had a starship?”
“Out of all of that, the only thing you take away is that I had a starship?”
“Was it the Cheese Doodle?”
Jake threw his hands up in the air in anger.
“Come on, man! I made that for you! And you get it destroyed! What the hell?”
“Hey, it wasn’t my fault! Some asshole attacked it, and I had to make sure my friends and I survived!”
“What the hell has been going on in your life?” Jake asked.
“Well – ” Dorkpool started, before he heard a thump.
“Did you hear that?” Dorkpool asked.
“What?” Jake responded.
“That.” Dorkpool said.
“Oh, yeah, I did.” Jake said.
“Ow!” A voice said.
Dorkpool got out a phaser, while Jake got a gun off his wall.
The THUMPs and exclamations of pain got louder as they got closer. They seemed to come from the staircase. Dorkpool and Jake both aimed their weapons at it.
And down the staircase came…
“Fear me, for it is I, Eyeless Jack!” the figure said while looking about 30 feet to the right of Dorkpool and Jake. The figure had a blue…mask? It looked like a mask. Either way, it was blue, and had two black voids in place of its eyes. The figure also wore a black hoodie and black pants, and was holding a knife.
Dorkpool and Jake were silent.
“I know you’re down there!” Jack said.
Again, Dorkpool and Jake said nothing.
Jack charged, running right past the two silent friends and right into a wall.
“Ow! Son of a bitch!” Jack yelled.
Jake raised his gun. Dorkpool put his hand on the gun, and shook his head. Dorkpool then aimed his phaser, set on stun, and fired it at Jack.
Jack went down like Kim Kardashian on a rapper.
“What the hell was that?” Jake asked.
“Eyeless Jack.” Dorkpool answered.
“No, really? But why was Eyeless Jack here?”
“Maybe because I didn’t close the door.”
Jake sighed. “Was he following you?”
“Probably. It’s a long story…"
TO BE CONTINUED…